stop screwing myself over

fuck…

God damnit.

I am angry, frustrated, worn out, underpaid, over worked, and a number of other things. Most of all I am my biggest problem. Christ, I feel like my father. It is my own damn fault- all my own. I’m sick and tired oh having to learn from my mistakes. I just don’t want to fucking make them anymore. I feel like I screw up so much in every part of my life. I don’t go into the situations negatively at all. Things start out fine but get all ass backwards. I know that things happen and you just sort of have to go along and deal with it but it isn’t like the things that are giving me a hard time are uncontrollable. I need to stop screwing myself over. I can’t think straight, I never seem to be able to get a handle on things – give all the information, stop underestimating things, stop treating everything and everyone like I have an obligation to do something. I’m not the persons fucking friend, I’m just doing business. Why can’t I ever keep things simple and exact? I’m tired of fucking myself, but wait I’m the only one who can change that. Good, good. I’ll screw that up too. FUCK.