communicate my feelings more

I am realizing that to communicate how I feel, I must first realize what it really is I am thinking. Not good if I am trying to communicate with my boss and secretly imagining him hanging upside down from the rafters by his toes. I guess I need purer thoughts if I want to appear genuine. To communicate is to genuinely take responsibility to at least try to understand the position of the other. Ropes and Paddles need to be locked away in my mental closet, I am going to miss them too! Especially that liberal embossed paddle I use on George Bush now and then. It left a nice impression of a donkey on his tush every time I used it on him.

Change is so interesting when we are trying to change ourselves. Like an oxymoron where we are giving up one “self” for the other. Kinda like part of us agrees to die so the other can live on. Patience, love and understanding is all I can offer that dying self and a bundle of gratitude.

I believe many of my flaws and setbacks come from ignoring or not acknowledging my feelings. I believe we all have feelings and they tell us meaningful things. And I also believe this is the shortest path to improving our faults and fears. If we dig deep enough we can find the root causes and then through knowledge we can conquer or in the least co-exist with all those fears and memories.

Major problem of mine. I feel hate, anger, sadness..all that stuff..but I generally hold it all in until I explode. My relationships have experienced this lovely explosion, and my friends once. Hopefully if I work on letting people whats going on and stop being afraid to talk about stuff, I can maybe not explode on people.