...is being enjoyed by all this morning (except my eldest as she is at work). The last few weekends we’ve been non-stop busy with visits to the zoo, parks, funfair, restaurants, friends, family etc.

Whilst I love taking the children out for the day I felt this weekend we all needed a little relaxation and time at home. Both are currently absorbed in games, I love how the both play so independently and with wonderful imagination! 1 week ago

learn with my children 3 weeks ago

*bed time stories
*walk around the block (long ways)
*let Sophie pick out her clothes
*lunch outside
*nap 3 weeks ago

I know that many children at some stage take something that doesn’t belong to them and may then try and lie about it. I just don’t know the best way to deal with it.

We’ve dealt with three situation in as many weeks at school. I know from teachers it’s a problem with a large group of children and it’s really hard to tell what the truth is when so much ‘trading’ is also going on.

The first incident I took a victim empathy approach. I got Jimmers to put himself in the situation of the victim (actually the school rather than a person) and I got him to write a letter explaining his actions and apologising.

The second incident I got quite cross and gave a lecture on morals and values and made very clear the importance of honesty.

The third I resorted to punishments of sitting on the stairs, no playing after school and no games on the laptop.

I’m just not sure I’m getting through to him.

I’ve tried to get him to be honest with me about his motivation, is it that he wants the item, is it about status with peers, is it about anger at school or at home or just the thrill of thinking he won’t get caught. If I could better understand his motivation I think I’d stand more of a chance of addressing it.

He remains adamant each incident was a mistake or accident of some sort and I’m worried that until he takes responsibility we won’t be able to move on.

It makes me so sad as I have such little time with my children I don’t want to spend it telling them off but I know that his is also just part and parcel of motherhood. 2 months ago

I have really been making a concentrated effort on this lately. I find i struggle to find balance and especially when i include a relationship with a man. I recognize now that right now as a single mother my kids need and deserve most of my time. I am making sure that i do have some time at the end of the day for me too (what do they say about on an airplane in order to save anyone else you first must put on your own oxygen mask?!) Luckily the man in my life enjoys his space and is understanding of my goals. As an example, tonight i came home, made dinner, watched tv (with oldest son) and did dishes, started homework with oldest son, then youngest son, alternated til both were done, talked about day with oldest son (activity of his choice) then watched tv with youngest (activity of his choice), tucked one in and then the other…finally me time. It was a good day :) 2 months ago

....bring so much joy into my life, whatever else is going on. I’ve been able to give them all abundant praise today which makes me feel incredibly happy and proud :) 2 months ago

...will hopefully foster peaceful children.

I’ve come to realise that me being anything other than calm rarely results in a happy home and certainly not a happy mother! I hate hearing myself angry and I’m trying to practice physically relaxing my body when I feel cross so I don’t overreact.

I’m really encouraging the children to speak calmly to one another too, even when they need to express anger or irritation. The best I can do is lead by example. 4 months ago

My kid is awesome!
Very Smart and kind! 4 months ago

IT’s been hard to even write entries about this after Bob1623 commented to me:

“You are a good mommy simply because you love your little one. And that makes you the best mommy.” I think about that comment so often… it really is so true! Thank you, Bob! It really doesn’t matter so much “What” I do… just so long as he feeeeeels loved… And I am pretty sure he does!

On the day to day I show this little boy how much I love him in so many ways… and today I feel like writing a little about them anyhow.

We have morning snuggle fest every day where we kiss and hug and snuggle in bed for a few minutes (sometimes 15!) before we start our day. I know it’s my favorite!

We play puzzles and cars and coloring (but he eats crayons sometimes so some art) and we have music time, we play catch and kicking and throwing the ball, ... he hangs out in his little carrier… yes, my 25 lb bundle sits in the ergo baby either on my back or when he wants more cuddles in the front while I go about the house doing tasks, vacuuming and whatnot… we make up songs and sing and dance… we have “dance parties” a few times a week and that is totally fun. My boy has some good rhythm! :)

If there was anything I could do differently to be an even better mom it would be to make sure we play outside every day even when it’s raining and cold… It’ll be good for him!

I recently made a new alphabet song for him and drew pictures to go along with it. I taped them all to the dining room wall low enough for him to reach the pictures and letters. He loves it. He crawls over and pulls himself up and points to the A and the picture of the Apple and yells to me “dahgadadaaa oooooo!” which I think must mean I want to sing the alphabet song with you, mom! because he becomes all smiles when we sing together and point at all the drawings….

And he is tugging away at my pant leg as I write this so I think independent play time is over for both of us for the day :)

I love him… I love being his mommy…. and I am proud of being such a good mommy to my boy. :) 5 months ago

^{My mess of words where words fail (I didn’t know where else to put this)}

We’ve had hard conversations with Isak before – when his grandfather died, when Kitty didn’t come home, questions he had after reading a book on WWII, our pregnancy loss, more recently the split of his beloved aunt and uncle right before their wedding, but this Connecticut horror has been particularly difficult.

First of all, I’m still trying to get my own head around it, to unclench my heart and stop tearing up every time I think about it. The whole thing is so unbearably tragic, particularly the children who were killed with such violence, hitting even harder because they were his age. I can’t fathom the hows and whys.

I spent a great deal of Friday trying to tear myself away from the news but seemed unable to do anything but sit there on the couch in front of the television with tears pouring down my face, just wanting to go pick him up from school and not put him down until I absolutely had to. Later at the school, the parents were all shaken, red-eyed, or gingerly telling the few who hadn’t heard.

I think it’s hard for anyone, particularly a parent, to tear their head and heart away from imagining themselves in the same place. I feel a brutal empathy for what these families must be going through – it’s physically painful. I imagine how Isak would react to having something like this happen in his quiet little school.

It’s not only for the kids and adults killed, but for the catalyst in this (who obviously needed help), and all of us too. Waves of shock, horror, grief hitting family, friends, first responders and people bravely dealing with the aftermath, the whole community there the hardest, but it continues outward in an awful tsunami hitting anyone it touches. It also bleeds out into other discussions – gun control, mental illness, violence, the beast of a feast media puts before us, how to change things enough to make a difference, etc.

I know there are many, many horrible things in the world, but this one hits extra hard, and left us personally responsible for a very hard conversation. It will be discussed and he’ll come across it, either in print, flipping through channels, overheard bits, there may be prayers when he’s at church with my parents today and there’ll definitely be talk on the playground tomorrow. Kids are also very perceptive to upset in the adults around them, Isak in particular – we needed to touch on this.

M. and I discussed it first, decided honesty was important but less was definitely best. We sat down with him and explained that a very bad thing had happened that a lot of people are upset by, so we wanted to talk to him about it first. We kept it brief: a man hurt a lot of people, many of them children, but he can’t hurt anyone ever again, and this was far away, not to worry, but everyone is feeling very sad about it and talking about it. There was more, but those are the bones.

He didn’t ask for any more details, though we said he could, now or later, and we’d tell him anything he wanted to know. We didn’t directly say anyone was killed, anything about how, mention that it was in a school… if he asks specific questions about anything along those lines we’ll talk further, but he just looked sad and serious and wanted hugs. Afterward we lightened things with a new little lego sphere we’d promised if we had extra good behavior this week.

So we’ve touched on this as best as we could, it may or may not come up again. I’d like to hear how anyone else went about this, if they did. As parents, we’re still left reeling with full knowledge of it. I didn’t want to let him go with his grandparents for a planned overnight, I wanted to hug him all weekend, but I need to deal with my feelings within myself and not have it dampen his good times.

I wish for peace and healing to come to everyone knocked down by this tragedy, directly or indirectly, and I hope slivers of a silver lining come together somehow – that out of such tremendous darkness there can be solid changes made and people pulled tighter together, reaching out to each other more. I’m going to try to stop absorbing the pain, squeeze out the sponge—spend extra time and attention on my family, the people I love, gratitude for life.

Love to all. 5 months ago

One thing I was missing as a child was the magic of childhood. I hear people talk about it and it’s my goal to make Little One’s childhood magical.

The night before his birthday, I stayed up late and decorated the house with streamers and balloons and sesame street character cardboard cut outs! I put out his gifts so he could open them first thing!

When we made our way downstairs yesterday, he was SO excited!! He squealed and went CRAZY!!

We went to relatives yesterday and he was able to play with his cousins. I made an Elmo beanbag game where you “feed” elmo. The kids loved it! Today he has friends coming over and it is round two birthday fun!!

I think I’m making his time magical.

I know I’m a good Mama to him because he is so snuggly and loving with me… He gives me so many kisses and hugs! The love I feel because of him is like nothing I’ve EVER experienced. I feel so lucky and blessed! 6 months ago

Told me she loved me the best today.

I wasn’t asking her, it was completely unsolicited. So very sweet.

I know I’m not perfect by any stretch of the imagination, but I’m starting to feel like I’m getting something right. 6 months ago

My hormones are a little whacky right now. I observed this yesterday when everything was making me cry… little one is sick and he was crying because he wasn’t feeling good and it made me cry to see him in pain. I normally have compassion and feel for him but I don’t cry. So today, I snapped at him when he wouldn’t go down for his nap. Not cool of me. So of course this makes me feel like I am a horrible Mommy… I need to keep this in perspective.

We have been up a lot for the past few nights, not getting much sleep, sleeping with little one on a 45 degree angle on my chest because he can’t breathe well… aspirating him all night, rubbing eucalyptus/olive oil on his chest and feet, steaming… I’m a little tired on top of being hormonal.

I am a good Mommy. I just won’t always be perfect.

I’ve always taken everything I do in life, my jobs and hobbies, very seriously. Motherhood is another part of my life I have been taking very seriously. I LOVE being mama. What I need to stop doing is thinking I’m a failure when I do one thing that doesn’t match up with my expectations for myself.

Perfectionist? Yes.

Look at olympic athletes. They are the best of the best. Did the Silver medalist or the bronze medalist “fail” bc they made a slight error or ? No, not quite.

I really do feel like I’m a good Mom for my Little One. I give him what he needs for his unique little self. We have music time and art time. we read lots of books each day. We go to the park. I make sure he gets naps. We have some good routines for bedtime and naptime to make it typically easier for him to wind down for sleep. I make him lots of healthy foods with fruit or veggie or both at every meal…or at least 90%!

I am a good mommy. A nurturing, loving, caring, attentive Mommy. 6 months ago

Little One has an aversion to “baby food”. Before he was born I registeredfor and got all of these home made baby food makers- the baby bullet, this steamer etc.. etc… welllllll… Little One LOVES his mommy’s milk and HATED EVERYTHING ELSE! I tried applesauce, mushed bananas, avocado, sweet potatoes… I won’t list them all, but you get the idea.

I gave up on making and started buying jarred- maybe I’m getting the consistency wrong? Maybe I need to mix the fruits and veggies? NOPE. Hated it. It was fine at the time. Under 1 they can still get all of their nutrients from breast milk. And then it happened.

We started giving him bits of everything we were eating… what I discovered… my baby has a very advanced pallet! You know what he likes, my home made lentil soup with garlic and onion and and cumin and curry! He loves gnawing on a grilled chicken wing?! He likes butternut squash and white bean soup again with tons of spices and cilantro and cinnamon! He’s a gourmet baby! It’s amazing!

We are actually quite lucky because this means we really don’t need to make anything separate for him. He loves what we love and that’s just awesome… Well… some of the time. I have to be creative sometimes…. like I wanted him to have some Tilapia the other night and he didn’t like it soI had to mix it with his split pea soup so he didn’t notice… but he LOVES the split pea soup!

Anyhow… I want to keep giving him good nutritionally sound foods and now that I understand what he likes, I am going to work on getting more creative and keep a running list of good recipes andidea for Little One. I am so grateful that I have the opportunity to stay home with him and spend so much time on being Mamma to him! 6 months ago