let the hard work begin 6 months ago

My husband LOVES watching movies. It is usually like pulling teeth to get me to watch movies but recently I’ve been all about it. I know he likes it and we have a great time!

I feel really good about our relationship. I think I have been more fun and light and joking… and I feel like I’ve been more affectionate… sometimes mixed with silly but still affectionate.

It’s funny…. when I think “be a good wife” I think about “getting things done” like laundry and cleaning… that’s not what makes him happy at all. Me being happy and light and free… that’s what makes my husband a happy man. Sometimes I feel like it would be easier if it was just the laundry and cooking … lol : ) ...
But how good is that. By “being a good wife” by his standards, he is literally bringing out the best in me.

I love him … ((((((aspiringtoughmudder)))))) xxoo 7 months ago

Hey all! My husband joined 43things and has his first goal!

http://www.43things.com/person/aspiringtoughmudder

I gave him a little tutorial on how to navigate 43things, comments, cheers, etc. If you want to drop by and show him how the community works, please feel free to do so!! I’ll forgo my cheer for him if you please! : )

• Unfortunately, we will likely lose power and be MIA for days over here … Hurricane Sandy is on its way. But we will be back ASAP!* 7 months ago

Last night DH said I was a good wife because I introduced him to 43 things and he thinks he’d like to join. He said, “See, you are inspiring me to work on myself and my goals. And that makes me a better person.” That was nice.

Then this morning we got into a tiff over the way we were communicating. We need to figure out how to communicate better. 7 months ago

Tough night. DH and I got into a fight. I haven’t had a full day off since the baby was born 11 months ago. We agreed on this Saturday. I’ve been looking forward to it all week! He then told me tonight he wants to go to the gym and get his hair cut tomorrow and I got really mad. I just want ONE DAY off. I need space… And bear in mind, this is one day off where I keep coming back home to nurse the baby because I don’t have enough milk pumped! It’s not even a real “day off”. It realllllllly bothered me because it seemed like he was going back on his promise to me. It made me feel like my needs were somewhat unimportant and insignificant. .. .sure have your time after I do things… I know he needs his time and he doesn’t get that much either but he sure gets more than me! But I shouldn’s compare. That’s not what it’s about.

I compared him to other fathers we knw and pointed out that I am the only mother who has never gotten time off … I shouldn’t have compared him. That’s not fair. In the end I was able to acknowledge that I should have phrased my response to him differently. I should have talked from a feelings place but I didn’t. Frankly, it’s quite tough when you are sleep deprived and exhausted to have such presence of mind. It’s reallllly hard.

I hope I can continue to grow… and get some sleep … so I can be a better wife. 8 months ago

This weekend nearly saw the end of my marriage, and in some ways bought me back to 43T.

I’ve described before our cyclical marriage – round and round we go. Every so often I contemplate divorce, but never much more than for a few hours, then he makes more effort, I fall in love again and all is fine and dandy until next time.

This weekend I made the mistake of leaving my laptop logged into facebook. He decided to write a silly fake status for a laugh and ended up reading through 4 years worth of my private message history. There were a couple of messages in there he wasn’t happy about.

After hours of blanking me he acknowledged his anger. I confessed I’d looked at his messages loads of times and read lots of PMs with girls he’s been in shows with that I wasn’t happy about either but nothing had been incriminating enough to incite me to confess my prying.

Several (very, very painful and sleepless) days later and we’ve both undertaken massive facebook ‘culls’. I’ve vowed not to go out drinking without him in future and to prioritise my family more, he’s agreed to wipe the slate clean and deal with some of his anger issues. Right now I am committed to making an effort to work at my marriage and ‘be a good wife’ but I’m not prepared to stay in an unhappy marriage. We’re agreed to review how we both feel in a months time. Sometimes I feel both of us undertaking project management roles has resulted in the same approach to our marriage!

How’s this bought me back to 43T? Well, I’ve realised that time spent on fb or crappy tv is wasted. My drinking/smoking/going out is stopping me from achieving my goals and I want to turn that around and 43T is the the very best way I know how to! 22 months ago