be a better mother than my mother was/is to me

Am doing it.

But yeah, one day. 25, 26 ish? Or whenever I’m feeling settled and in a stable relationship.

I’d be a great mum.
I’d love 2 girls and a boy, but I’m not that fussed.

If I had a little girl I’d plait her hair and hold her hand and kiss her on the forehead. She’d be called something like Elfie or Bridie.

When I do have children I’ll be there for them, for they’re whole lives and I’d be fun. Love them with all my heart and cuddle them all the time. I’d get them in to The Smiths and make them smoothies.

xo

Hello,
I am a young mother of a one year old littel boy. When I had him my whole life changed EVERYTHING the way I looked at eveything opened my eyes up stopped doing drugs, got my own job, my own place and graduated high school.. and planning on going to college to better myself as well as my son’s!!!

I know I am trying but sometimes my anger gets me and my son is very active (but WHAT one year old littel boy,isnt) like sometimes he’ll do things over and over and I dont have the patience and yell jeez sumtimes I can be so mean and cry because I really dont mean too, and I just wanna learn to have patience I truly love him and would give anything and have dedicated to my littel angel please someone advice please dont be mean when commenting back I am just looking for a littel inspiration/advice../whatevr u can suggest I am still a new mommy I still have a LOT more to go thru as well as leanr and I am trying so hard…!

And that’s more than she could’ve said when I was either of their ages.

My mother has moved to another state and I am so happy. I want her to have limited contact with me and my girls. Everything can be cheery as long as it’s through phone calls once a year and emailed photographs…

Our lack of a relationship has me determined to be an awesome mom.

I have filled so many journal entries railing against the way my mother deals with me… how it seems like I’ve paid all my life, for whatever frustrations my mother has had. So many journal entries. I keep all my journals, so I can go back now and tell you things I’ve written over the last sixteen years of my life about the relationship with my mother.

I get really upset, because no matter how I think I’ve grown past the frustration my mother engenders in my life, it seems like I’m never past it. I can only get past it when I am as far away from her as I can possibly get. And even then, she phones me obsessively, so there’s no real escape per se. I used to fantasise at one point about just disappearing, and not giving her my number or address… but never do it, because at heart I don’t want her to suffer and that would cause her to suffer.

I suppose everyone has horror stories about their mothers… and I’m sure my mother isn’t as bad as some parents, but you know, some people just shouldn’t become parents. They should just abstain, because their emotional development is just not such that they can give to their children in an unselfish way. My mother is one of those people… come to think of it, so is my father.

I guess coming home has thrown the breaches in our relationship into sharp relief. For me, I feel in a lot of ways, putting myself at her mercy was a mistake… because as long as I’ve know her, her help and assistance, her love, costs a pound of flesh and she makes no hesitation to extricate it in the most painfully possible way she can.

I’m just tired of fighting old battles with her. Tired of being her whipping boy, I mean, 28 years is long enough don’t you think?

Now that I am facing my own impending parenthood, I realise I don’t want the kind of relationship I have with my mother to repeat with me and my child.

I don’t want my child to grow up feeling as though I hate him; I don’t want my child to wonder as to whether I love him. I did that…

My child won’t get pushed away at four and told he’s too big to hug. My child will get hugs and kisses until he thinks it’s not cool. My child will have a friend in me, instead of a judge. I won’t harp on his inadequacies rather than his strengths; I’ll help him to strengthen that in which he is weak, and not let his strengths overwhelm all else. I will not rub his nose in every mistake he makes. I will not beat him because I had a bad day. I will not force him to pay for my frustrations. I will not abandon my child in difficult emotional situations.

I will be a supportive mother… something I never really had.