lose 100 pounds

I have been dieting for two months now and have lost 31 pounds so I have a good Start, just not where I want to be yet….

Everything has gone a bit wrong. I’ve had a hugely stressful project to complete that has taken me away from home and my scales. My laptop has broken, taking my food diary/calorie calculator with it. I’ve lapsed with the controlled diet and exercise for about 3 weeks now.

These are setbacks, I can’t let them become excuses. Tonight I’ll draw up some healthy meal plans, find a notebook to use as a paper food diary, and try to get an early night so I can do my first Couch to 5K session tomorrow morning.

I’ve been here before, to the point where it feels like it doesn’t matter what I do, something will always take me down, but it’s not true, I just have to get back on course and keep going.

No excuses.

I was always athletic and trim as a teen and then I was married at 21. For a few years I maintained my 120 pounds but then starting gradually gaining until I’ve ballooned to 200lbs on a 5’3” frame. My healthy weight is 120. ugh. I’m an exuberant, social, joyous individual and much of my eating is socially based. My friends are all extremely attractive and very tiny. I sometimes think I’m the de facto Fat Friend that people like to drag around because I can make anyone look good with my girth. My weight has affected how I view myself, how I interact with others, and has effectively crushed parts of my person and I desperately want to regain that person. Although I come across to most people as a confident and comfortable with my looks, I am in fact, completely enslaved by my size. Because I’m so jovial and devil-may-care about things, people feel like they can make jabs about my weight without it bothering me. This weekend it happened for the last time.

I’m losing the 100 pounds and I’m going to become a ninja assasin.

The end.

k im starting now!! lol
go to http://www.webmd.com/diet/calc-bmi-plus
current weight:250
Goal Weight 150
its really hard rite now my grama jst past away so its jst pizza and chicken and wutever anybody else is eating den i jst eat it 2 lol hopefully i can d0 it

Beginning weight: 235 pounds
Current weight: 222.5 pounds
Change this week: -0.5
Total weight lost: -12.5 pounds
Total diet time: 7wks

Not great, having to count that little half pound to convince myself that not all is lost. It’s just a touch frustrating; I’ve been staying with a friend to be closer to work for the last week. So, between my laptop literally falling to pieces (and depriving me of my accurate food journal program) and being in someone else’s house, and sharing meals with someone not taking as much care with them.

Anyway, it hasn’t been entirely bad. I’ve been keeping a written food diary, making decent calorie estimates from packets and experience. And, while I may have felt that I’d really been letting things slip, my estimates seem to say that I’ve been eating reasonably, so it looks like some of my lifestyle changes have stuck.

This time away from home is pretty rought all round. I’m away from my scales, from my kitchen, from my quiet space where I can exercise, and the project I’m working on is going wrong and majorly stressing me out, and of course keeping me away twice as long as planned.

Anyway, thanks to everyone for being around. Didn’t realise how valuable it would be to have this weekly check-in, knowing that everyone here knows how it feels to be where I am and to hear how everyone else is getting on. Just writing this entry every week reminds me that no matter how badly the week may have gone, I’m still in the game. The only way I can fail is by giving up.

knowing that this is really happening is really exciting. the day before and yesterday, was the first time in 5 months that I sought out sugar and ate it. after 144 days of none. meaning, i’ve had none in my body all that time. i realized that the daquiris at bbqs are really just big bowls of sugar. i drank nearly a whole one, got sloshy and drunk, and thought i could just start over the next day. the next morning i went to breakfast, and then,and was pulled in true addiction style, to buy a package of sugar-free chocolate cookies (which has flour, which i’m also not eating) and a pint of reeses peanut butter icecream. i ate all of it. hours later, my stomach bubbled with gas, and i was nauseous. I threw up the whole pint of icecream, my attempt to binge, landing in a plastic bag. i was sick as hell. wondering if my body just rejected the whole idea of me inundating my body with so much sugar. either way, it was good for me to see such a violent reaction. i am going to stay away from this stuff. i’ve been losing and maintaining a 30 pound loss now pretty easily. once i’m back to the gym this week, i’ll be working on the next ten pounds. love you…

This weight is going. I’m doing it by avoiding flour and sugar. This is working for me… it is keeping me from binging… i find sweet sources in natural ways… by next year, i hope to be a real thin person. i’ve lost 30 pounds…

Beginning weight: 235 pounds
Current weight: 223 pounds
Change this week: -2
Total weight lost: -12 pounds
Total diet time: 6wks

As ever, it’s been a week of ups and downs. I managed to stick with my nutrition and exercise goals, but it’s been tough. The exercise was ok, as it was just little effort early in the morning, and I could just get on with my day. The nutrition was trickier, as during the evening I just kept feeling hungry an hour or so after dinner and wanting to eat. So, I finally had to give in and appreciate the value of water and fruit teas for filling me up without blowing my totals.

So, I’m planning on keeping my early morning workouts going for the next week while I’m away, as I should be able to do it anywhere and without any equipment. Hopefully, by the time I get back next weekend I’ll feel ready to start the Couch to 5K running plan. It’s pretty slow to start, but I’m just a bit scared of running in public. I don’t want anyone to see my first few weeks of struggle, especially not some of the colleagues that I know live near me and are regular runners, so probably use the park I’m planning on. Maybe I’ll just get started doing it on the treadmill at the gym, and make the transition to outdoors when I feel more confident.

I’m down about 30 pounds now… i’ve been sick… so i know i’m going to have to kick into the gym soon…

I want to lose 100 pounds. Ideally by July 2010 but since that leaves me only 12 months I’m not sure I’m going to make that. I will be satisfied if I complete the task by December 2010.

And then keep it off for good. But that’s such a big one I should probably make it a separate entry.