curb my road rage

Road rage is something I’ve been trying to conquer for years. I’ve been involved in everything from verbal altercations, being followed, to near physical fights because of this. It took me awhile to understand the root of my road rage and what my part in it all was, but I finally feel like I’ve overcome a lot of it! I am one of those drivers that likes to get to where I’m going; I don’t play games, I take driving seriously and pride myself in having solid discretion on the road. So for me, when someone exerts disrespect by tailgating me, or using inappropriate gestures, it has been a huge trigger for me. Slow drivers have always been another unfortunate annoyance as well. But one day after the zillionth confrontation, I really sat down and pondered what my problem was since I know by now that I can’t control other drivers and their actions. And I realized that it was my fault for being reactionary in the first place and expecting that people should drive a certain way. I also took into account about how lucky I’d been that I’d never been shot or hurt in my road rage episodes and that the risk just wasn’t worth it. So I started being calmer when I got on the road; breathing; laughing things off; jamming to my favorite music; or admiring the beauty of where I live and being grateful for the ocean view. One day, a guy who was trying to jam into my lane got pissed off when I didn’t let him in (there was no room), and proceeded to tailgate me as he flipped me the double bird. I remember the familiar feeling of anger trying to consume me; while my adrenaline rushed furiously, and then I just smiled and decided not to allow him to ruin my driving experience. So I ignored him and watched him work himself into a tizzy all on his own! After awhile, I think he saw that he wasn’t going to get a reaction out of me, and he just stopped. It was empowering; I won!

if you leave on time to get where you’re going, then why rush? if you go the speed limit you wont ever have to be tailgaiting someone, you wont have the stress of “go fucking faster you old hag”.

if you just realize that you don’t have anywhere to be that is more important that being alive (or not being in debt from paying for a ruined car, or not hurting other people, etc) then it’s a lot easier to control yourself.

but mostly HOW I DID IT, was to buy a really nice new car. to be responsible for it and paying bills for it all the time really makes me want to take care of it. it’s really stupid to ruin your car over getting to the red light fastest!!!!

by the way, learn from my mistake:

i’ve only been driving for 6 years and I HAD TO TOTAL OVER 7 CARS TO LEARN MY LESSON. guess i learn everything the hard way.

I think I was just becoming more aware that I was being silly with my road rage, and so decided it wasn’t worth being upset about anymore. I strangely feel happy more than upset while driving now. I’m turning my anger into a “hah, I can’t believe that person just did that, what a dork”.

I’m stupid too. I’ve made traffic errors too. Just because someone pulls out in front of me, doesn’t mean they do it all of the time and are morons. I’ve probably done it on occasion too. Let it go.

If someone jaywalks and gets mad at me for not stopping (I rarely stop for jaywalkers), that’s their problem, not mine. Let them deal with their frustration because it comes from a silly place. Don’t let the power of their silliness effect my mood.

I’ve gone from road rage to road sage.

Granted, I’m not perfect with this now, but I have certainly curbed my road rage. I no longer yell at other drivers for breaking the rules of the road. At worst, I talk gently in their direction, explaining what they did incorrectly.

Whereas I used to quickly get upset over other drivers, I have learned to remain calm and (usually) patient. Other drivers exhibiting road rage merely make me laugh instead of making me furious.

Driving is now less eventful and certainly much less stressful.

Here’s my blog entry

It still takes a certain amount of effort, but I really am getting better at curbing my road rage. A month ago, someone tailgated me for several miles and not only did I not slam on my brakes, I barely even thought about the option.

The only times I can remember getting upset over other drivers during the past few weeks were situations in which I was placed in a dangerous situation due to another driver’s actions. Even then, I avoided eye contact and other possibly aggravating body language.

I’m going to keep this item on my list for a while longer, until it takes a bit less effort to stave off my road raging impulses.