Build a deck.

I am wasting my yard but I have no money… sigh!

I started this ages ago, built the deck to the point where it’s almost complete but I can’t finish it. I need to finish out the railing and some exterior edge aesthetic stuff. But I discovered that I’m really not much into these types of home improvement projects. I have the skills (kind of) but it drags on forever and I certainly don’t have the level of workmanship and vision to pull the whole thing off. Whereas my brother (or Ivan) love the feeling they get when they’re done, I tend to see it more as a burden.

Now with that all said I love nothing more than working on my music gear or fixing smaller things around the house. The lesson for me is really to leave things like deck work and bigger house projects to professionals and work on projects that interest me.

strange shape

I wanted to build a deck for the longest time. I couldn’t figure out if i should do it my self or let some one else do it. I figured I should try first. And I did, but then I Failed and it was un even. I called people at Signature Contractorsand they helped me solve all my problems.

Like my other projects, I am not completely happy with how it turned out. However, unlike my other projects, I really don’t think I could do any better on a second deck.

Though, I guess we’ll find out now that I have extra trex for the rest of the concrete.

For now, I’m going back to furniture.

The planks that run across the stringers and constitute “the stairs” have been sitting there for about 9 months, in the rain doin’ nothing. I finally got around to screwing them down today. Which is funny because in the end it only took 90 minutes of actual work, but involved a trip to Lowes to get the correct countersink drill bit. Little items like that will keep me from finishing any project.

With the stairs down I only have to dig a couple holes, mix some cement and put up the final post for the railing. Then it’s just a matter of building the railing. At least today I removed the insane liability of having unfastened boards (whereby stepping too close to the edge would result in flipping off and likely breaking a leg). Good work dorkbot.

I am so happy with the little patio we built. We enjoy sitting out to have diner. All we need now is to plant some Citronella plants to keep the bugs away:)

The prius is a workhorse, I’m telling you. The fact that this time not a single contractor truck loading dude said anything like “Nice worktruck” as they passed by means that I think it’s catching on. All the contractors will be getting priusi.

Anyway.

The Trex is here. The time is not. Worked like crazy last week. Shambhala Level IV this weekend. Work like crazy till I go out of town for work, then maybe, just maybe, I can finish this sucker up on Saturday morning before the folks arrive. Maybe.

Two Saturdays ago, 9 days ago, I called Home Depot to see if they had Trex in stock. They didn’t, at any location. But I liked the guy I talked to on the phone so I went in and ordered it. He was working the Contractor’s Services station alone and there was a never ending stream of phone calls, pages, customers, other employees and general mayhem. It took a long time to make the order (about 2 hours). During this time, I decided that it would probably be really hard to get all the Trex into the Prius. Now, you’re probably thinking to yourself… yeah… uh… the PRIUS you say? But before you call me a complete dipshit, recall that I got all the lumber for two sets of garage shelves, an 8’ dining room table, a vineyard table and the framing for the deck home in the Prius. The Prius is a deceptively long car, and we have a roof rack on it, which I haven’t had to use yet.

But, that Saturday, I figure that if I can’t build the deck that weekend, they’ll deliver the wood that next week and I’m gold for this weekend. That way, I don’t have to arrange for the car again (as we have just the Prius and the motorcycle and sanvea doesn’t ride). The order sheet said that the “estimated arrival date” was 5/8. I didn’t really believe that, but the HD guy said that getting the wood delivered by the weekend “shouldn’t be any problem at all”. Here’s the words he used, “the Trex will be delivered here and the day it it comes in, Delivery Services will call you to arrange a time to deliver it to you.” He used the word time.

So, I call them on 5/8 and it isn’t there yet. I wait till Friday to call back (5/11) and it had arrived that morning. Thrilling, I think, I’ll get the deck done. Oh, did I mention that my folks are coming to town on 5/26 and that I really want to be done with this project before that? And, furthermore, I’m taking Shambhala Level IV this coming weekend and that’s always 8 a.m. to 6 p.m so I don’t have another weekend before my folks get here?

The Delivery Services lady says, “so, would you like to take delivery next Thursday or Friday?” And I say, “Uh, I was under the impression delivery was the same day you got the wood.” She replies, “No.” I said, “I really need it today.” She says, “that isn’t going to happen.” Calmly, (I think), I tell her that I would like then to cancel the delivery and I’ll come get it myself because they said they’d arrange a TIME for delivery, not a DAY. They should use the word day or maybe date in the description, not the word time which really implies that when they get the wood, they’ll deliver it that day, not a week later.

The upshot is that I cancel the delivery and then I sort of have a sinking feeling about how in the hell I’m going to pick up this much Trex. The Prius is a workhorse, but this will be a challenge.

That evening, Friday evening, sanvea and I go to Home Depot and go to will call. I want to preface this by saying that the people at will call (Gigi in particular) were great. The story from the lumber yard is that the lumber delivery people “buried the Trex under hundreds of units.” Which meant that we waited for the wood for two hours. Standing there, at Services. Finally, sometime around 9:15 p.m. Gigi tells me my order “is at” the Contractor’s door. sanvea and I rush outside and down to the closed and dark Contractor’s section and wait. Nothing. So I go inside and down to that section and after about 5 min I see a forklift coming with a ginormous pile of wood. I ask them to set it on this push cart here and they do and it looks like it weighs a million pounds. It is all bundled up with support braces and plastic so I can see that it is Trex, but not really much else.

At this point, I sort of loose heart on the Prius idea and I fess up to one of the Home Depot dudes that my intention was to load up a Prius with this stuff. I wish I had a picture of the utter disbelief on his face. He refrains from calling me a dipshit and says only “I don’t really recommend that.” I thought that was sweet. He punctuates that by saying, “it will ruin your tires and probably your suspension. Trex is not wood. It is very, very heavy.” I reply that I don’t really feel like ruining my car tonight and he says, “just get the Load and Go” which is a truck HD will rent you for $20 for 75 minutes. I didn’t know about this thing before, but it is a really cool Home Depot feature.

Recall that it is now pretty late. 9:50, in fact. Gigi tells me that if I’m late (they close at 11 p.m.) she’ll stay and wait for me, which I think is amazing. So I get it and the next 75 minutes is a whirlwind of loading the truck, driving home, unloading the truck (in the dark), driving back and then eating something (it is 11:00 by the time I’m home).

Recall from the design that I am using two colors. The Trex Brasilia comes in cayenne (dark) and amber (light). The design has the accent color in half sizes (which I will rip myself). I ordered 13 light and 8 dark, which I thought was probably over ordering a piece per color as is my habit to insure against my math and/or cutting skills.

The next morning, I start, only carrying pieces to the backyard as I need them. It is a big pile of mixed dark and light. It is going very well. But when I started back up Sunday morning, I realize that I have WAY too many dark pieces left and WAY too few light ones. Say, uh, like, 5 too many dark and maybe, uh, 5 too few light. It is now that I realize that when they brought my order out in a big bundle, I really only looked at it generally to see that it was Trex, and it was dark and light and there were 2 16’ dark ones. In the adrenaline riddled confession of Priusitude and renting the truck and whirlwind of loading and unloading the truck in the dark, I never counted the pieces. I tend, also, to assume that everyone always does everything correctly, as specified.

At this point, I’m through most of the deck, so reversing the pattern is impossible even if I had wanted to do that, which I don’t. At this point, sanvea says, “cool, you’ve got extra wood, you can do the other half of the concrete” so, uh, thanks Home Depot, you just gave me another weekend project!

Saturday, I had talked to a friend who had also just built a Trex deck and he got his at Crenshaw Lumber, which he said had it in stock. So, Sunday I head over there (in the Prius) with the intention to buy the 5 missing light pieces, which I figure I really can get in or on the Prius. They’re closed on Sundays, apparently, but what I saw there was an immense lumber yard full of huge trucks and I just got a flash of me with my Prius asking to buy 5 of something and I felt very intimidated. Instead of waiting till today and going over there, I went back to HD and ordered the 5 missing pieces.

I have no idea if I’ll finish the deck now by the time the folks get here. And of course, if it isn’t finished, they’ll just have to sleep elsewhere.

(Ha ha, just kidding, Mom)

Here’s a montage of some progress made on Saturday. Prepare yourselves, though, because a long post (even for me) is on its way telling the saga of the deck.