... I hope.
Three or four years ago, I went to the bar at the bowling alley, where I’d never gone before and I’ve never gone since. There were some guys talking to my friends and I, and eventually, a really, really attractive man, the best looking person in the bar by a long shot talked to me. We all ended up going to a different bar and hanging out for a while longer. I felt really good because he was gorgeous and out of all the women at the bar, he talked to me… but he’s gorgeous in kind of a “just got out of the penitentiary” kind of way. I mean, he looked like a player and a bad boy. The same night, I met a really nice and also very attractive nice guy type, and for once in my life, I made a decision to pursue the good guy. When the first one called, I didn’t even call him back, and at the time, I felt pretty smart about it.
Except. the nice guy had some major divorce drama going on where he’d been sleeping with a coworker, his wife had been sleeping with his best friend, and he was just entirely incapable of making good decisions. In spite of all that, I dated him, and he was a really nice (if super dorky) guy, but he was like taking care of a kid. Every once in a while, I’ll see him around town and I’ll think “what was I thinking when I broke up with him!” Then, I’ll remember that he dressed up like Zorro to come to the racetrack… where I know and have to work with people and it’s NOT a Zorro costume kind of place, or I’ll remember that he listens to marching band music on road trips and I’m more than okay with my decision.
Ever since not returning the other guy’s call, I’ve seen him around town, doing not really bad boy kind of stuff. Like helping his mom fill out applications for social security, talking to an old couple at the grocery store, coming out of the Christian bookstore which also houses the cafe where I teach my reading student, when I was signing up at the gym…which I never go to. I see him driving around, I end up behind him at train crossings. It’s bizarre. My town isn’t big, but I don’t run into anyone else that much. I never talked to him though, or acknowledged that I recognize him because I was kind of embarrassed and thought that he wouldn’t remember me. I also got the story on him from my BFFs at work, and I guess he was, and is single, and is a super nice guy. Oops.
So on Thursday I left work on time, which never happens, I finished teaching my reading student early, which never happens, I decided to go past my house and put gas in my car for morning which NEVER happens. I was standing there, putting gas in my car, and L. drove past me and went in the store. I live half an hour away from the town where he lives and works, so the coincidence was strange. Since returning from NS, I’ve become less of a coward, so I decided to go in and buy a water and see if an opportunity to talk to him would present itself. We ended up paying and heading for the door at the same time, so I just smiled and said “Hi!” as if I were surprised to see him in there. We ended up talking for a while and he did remember me. He asked what happened before and I admitted to him that I thought “there is no way that guy is single…” He told me “I was!! I am!!,” which is good news, and he told me how pretty I looked and that I had really beautiful eyes. It’s been kind of a rough week, I’m frustrated that I’m working hard and not losing weight very quickly, and I haven’t felt even a little bit pretty in a really long time… like years, so it was so nice to hear him say that.
We’ve texted a couple of times since then, and again, he’s made nice comments and let me know that he’s single. But he hasn’t really invited me to do anything. He keeps telling me about his church, which I’m not thrilled about. I mean, I’m a spiritual person and I really appreciate sincere spirituality in other people, but I’m not huge on organized religion. If it works for other people, I’m happy for them, as long as it doesn’t make them into intolerant jackasses. But… I’ve heard that the church that he goes to is one of the huge mega churches, where the pastors drive Mercedes and have multi-million dollar homes. I like that he has something he believes in, but the details make me cringe. Still, I’ve tried to some uncoventional things in attempts to learn more about religion/spirituality/whatever, so I’m interested in hearing about what drew him to that church. I’m a little wary because I’m a pretty committed religious freelancer… and there’s not a shot in HELL that I’d go to a church that is anti-gay, anti-immigrant, pro-tea-party, etc., but I don’t know where they officially stand on that stuff, or more importantly where L. is personally. We’ll see. Hopefully I’ll have a chance to get to know him a little bit better and find out. 23 months ago