Stop hating people who've hurt me

Not sure what im supposed to do here….Im 30 a mother of three, Ive been in a realtionship for 9 yrs. NOT MARRIED would like to be..I hhave so much hate in my heart and it is making me mean, i hate everything…I love my kids but my patients are so thin. My boyfriend of 9 yrs has cheated on me, I just found out last August that he was expecting a baby with the girl. I moved out he came back said he loved me and his kids and dont like to be with out us, so in dec i came back…it seemed to do better but i always accuse him of cheating on me, i pick fights just to let him no i hate him, i dont want to leave but what else can i do how do i put the past behind

My friends hurt me and now they are really annoying and think they are the best thing in the world when they are the worst and they are self absorbed…
I want to stop hating them because its eating me up…

There have been alot of people in my life that have hurt me beyond compare, and I have so much ill feeling towards them. I feel, however, that I am growing to hate them less every day, as I learn, for the first time ever in my life, to actually like myself.

Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. once said said that “Hatred paralyses life; love releases it. Hatred confuses life; love harmonizes it. Hatred darkens life; love illuminates it.”

I have hated…. and then I realized it hurt me more than it hurt others. I tried to move on without really feeling anything, and that did not work either because it left me feeling incomplete and cowardly. Then I tried to put them in a list of people in my mind that I would get back at… petty revenge here and there… but that left me dark and on a worse road.

I eventually figured out that forgiveness is a better way to go. Not because I care about these people, or am afraid of them… but because I gave them too much power over me otherwise.

I am a good person and they have no power that I do not give them. They cannot hold me back without my granting them that ability. They cannot hurt me anymore without me allowing it. I am beyond them… and I realize that they were petty, small and weak people who hurt others because they were hurt themselves. By forgiving and moving on I make a statement that I am not them.

I never got to the point of loving them. I am not like Jesus, or Ghandi or Dr. King… for me forgiveness and an attempt to understand without forgetting was enough.