They move fast, but not that fast. I got pulled over Jan 20th ‘99 for doing 75 in a 45 in my 1980 Mazda RX7 that I bought the day before. It had a racing transmission and highspeed fuel injectors… bla bla bla. The guy sold it to me for $700 because he needed the room for a new ultralight plane. This car handled like a go-kart. Fast, agile, fantastic.
So the cop pulls me over and tells me that I have a military warrant for my arrest. Okay, so I was a little AWOL at the time. I played dumb. “Gee. What for officer?” “Well, apparently you didn’t return to your duty station on time.” I had been gone for about 6 months, and honestly, I was really on my way to Mardi Gras. “Well you see officer, my car broke down and I had to get another one” I show him my new title, “I’m actually on my way back right now”. He was understanding, but reluctant. “Well, they really kinda want me to hold you”, he said. “Shit. Well, where am I going to park my car. I just got it, i don’t want it to get towed.” hahaha “Just park it over there” he says pointing to the parking lot across the street, “Just wait for me to get in my car”. I wait for him, and truthfuly I was going to go with him, but when we got in that parking lot, I started weighing it out. “Brig… Mardi Gras… Brig… Mardi Gras”. While he was out in the parking lot waving semaphore hand signals to get me to park, on this unusually warm sunny January day, I yelled out the rapture roof of my Mazda “I HOPE YOU FUCKERS GASSED UP, CUZ I’M NOT STOPPING FOR SHIT!” as I slammed it into gear and peeled out of there.
They clocked me doing 147mph during this chase which lasted a mere 23 minutes until I lost them at the county line. At one point I was being cocky and I threw a one finger salute out the top of the rapture roof. The wind pinned my arm against the rim and they got about 30 seconds of footage of me flipping them off whilst trying to get my hand back in the car. They put up one hell of a fight. Right at the county line, an additional unit that had joined the chase, pulled in front of me, started slowing down to get me to stop. I went to pull around him, but at 90mph in a car that handles like a go-kart it’s no wonder that I lost traction and spun a whole 360 before coming to a screeching, tire blackened road, smokey halt. As a moment of humor passed through my mind I said “please return your flight attendant to her original upright position” when I saw my opening. I drove into the ditch in order to keep from being hit as the officer was pulling forward to ram my car. I continued on through the finish line at the next county as the cops turned off their light and sirens and turned around.
FREEDOM! I turned onto an irrigation road and drove all the way back to town on dirt roads, at one point driving on what seemed to be an old wagon trail that lead into some dude’s back yard, before packing my stuff hastily and telling my girlfriend that I was moving away. “Yeah, it’s been fun. I really got to go. It’s not you baby I just really got to go. Where have I been? uh… out for a drive. Listen, I gotta go.” MARDI GRAS, HERE I COME!
I eventually turned myself in and served 32 days in jail for reckless driving, as the other charges were dropped. I’d say, if you can get away with it, try it.
