go on a double date with my bestfriend

ok so… since she is coming to see me this weekend, we might be going out and even if we don’t have “dates” this is probebly the only time she is going to be single again for a while. (she finally told the ex that she is still living with that they would not be having sex anymore and that it’s really over… but she did that mostly because her old boyfriend from highschool has been hangin around and is all “i want you back” she told me that same night that she had plans to get back with j when the lease is up and she moves out which is why she is still there living with her current ex.) whoa >deep breath<

so i am going to consider going out and flirting it up with lots of guys to be our double date, also because after i have the baby i think it will be a while before i go out.

ahh! she makes me want to shake her and scream snap out of it.

Here is the short version… She was with this guy, he was basically moved in before they officially decided he would “move in” and that was maybe 2 weeks after they started dating. It really started from a few nights before they decided to be a couple then 2 weeks later they were bringing the Rest of his stuff from home to her appartment… all the while he doesn’t have a car either. so she is taking him to and from work as well as working herself. I didn’t think they should have gotten together but what is a best friends opinion when you are desperate to not be alone and have something in your life that you can define yourself by? ... apparently it’s chopped liver.

so they were together around a year (“celebrated” the year marker not long before they broke up) in that year she found out that we was not only an alcoholic but a horrible roomate (never once even put his dirty clothes in the hamper two feet away from where he would through them on the floor… he would never do dished unless asked and even then he only washed what was needed right that moment, i.e. two plates and 2 forks… and so on)
So i hear from her that he never helps and then gets upset that she doesn’t want to go out with him to the bar every night when she would rather stay and clean or stay and go to bed so she could get up for work in the morning.
Then finally they break up and she is a walking time bomb breaking down at every little thing and moping around the house by herself when he’s gone or at work and for a while in the beginging he seemed to or at least said he “felt bad” about it…
So they are still living together because they have about 4 months left on their lease and neither one can afford to live there alone and neither one can afford to pay the termination fee and live on their own. so they are still living together… big mistake. Everyday i get some ominous text about what he’s done, what he has or hasn’t (mostly ignores her now), where he has or hasn’t been… what really gets me going is the times like today she sends me a messege saying something about he had a card for a free admission to leather and lace (a gentlemans place) and that means he’s already been. so my first thought is… and? so i say ‘if your not together does it really matter?’ and she comes back with ‘yes it does. i told him to please not do anything until i move out. that counts.’ and i am thinking thats a little over the top for 21 yr old guy. my reply… “he might have taken that as not bringing anyone home, thats how i would have taken it and thats not unreasonable but trying to control what he does outside of being at or bringing it home is kinda unreasonable” and to that she didn’t responded… am i right though? as long as he’s not bringing it home or waving it in her face whats the big deal? she’s the one still treating like a boyfriend, doing his laundry and cooking for him. he’s over it. she’s not. and trying to control what he does outside of when he’s at home i think is unreasonable.

i wish i could get it through her head. she is worth so much more. i get other stuff like ‘he just ignores me now… am i that horrible?’ and all i can say is uhh thats a no, don’t let him or his behavior define you like that. so she says ‘i can’t help it i love him’ what?? ‘you can love someone without letting them control who you are.’ i didn’t get a response to that either. someone open her eyes because i can’t seem to do it.

How am i ever going to get to do this if she won’t let go of that sleave bag and her fear of being alone??

i don’t mean for my best friend to be my date, rather that we each have a date and go together :)