thesaurosie is pretending to study
lazy strained writing became deliberate and true
28 Aug 2009 | 10:49pm
[ music | John Paul White: “Can’t Get It Out Of My Head” ]
Drafted the other day:
“Reinvent your relationship. Not as hard as it sounds, biologically speaking. When you first meet someone you release dopamine — the addiction hormone. People call it “lovesick,” that feeling when you’re apart, because you are actually physically addicted to the other person for a short time. That gives way to a longer-term relationship (stimulated by oxytocin, also known as the cuddling hormone) for about five more years, just long enough for the pair bond to raise offspring. Then the chemical handcuffs are off. Complicating factor: Women marry the man they think he can become and try to change him; men marry the woman they want, and then she changes. So you’ve got two people moving in separate directions, and if you don’t reconnect every seven years, you’ll drift apart. This can be as simple as taking a vacation, trying a new position in bed, or saying this sentence after dinner one night: “I want to think of everything we can do to make our relationship as great as it was when we first met.” This can actually release dopamine, which will lead to more luck in bed.”
- http://www.esquire.com/features/ask-dr-oz/dr-oz-relationship-advice-0509
He is wonderful the way he is.
He inspires me to become a better person.
“You know how those glasses put whatever you were looking in perfect focus, and everything else was just fuzzy? Well, when when we were sitting on the couch, I was looking at you, and I couldn’t hear anything else.”
Resumed entry today (28/8):
He texted on 25/8:
9.54 am
I had strange crime fighting dreams lastnight but you did make an appearence!
X
11.21-What happened in the dream?
- Fwd: *dreamz, sorry
.45- Fwd: Well all I can remember is being on the run from the police, juming over fences and through buildings. When they finally got me, it turns out they needed me expertise on finding this bomb or something. Next thing I remember I was in a chopper flying over the city, we landed I got out and you were there. So I forgot all about this threat to the world and we just watched the stars, even though it was still daytime. Then I woke up :)
26/8 – I took him to Blues Point to celebrate the end of one of my courses but looking at the three stars visible from Sydney city. We were near the beach, ‘Poseidon’s angry!’, and sang ‘our song’ (‘I’m On A Boat’ by The Lonely Island and T-Pain). We sound so pretty, haha. I kept wanting to say it but it was cold and we were about to move and all. I accidentally slept over.
27/8 – In the morning he was jittery after having a dream that something terrible had happened to me and nobody would tell him what. He drove me home on his way to work and I got some sleep. Again again, you can’t say you love them five minutes before you kick them out of bed or your house for sensible reasons.
I was late [to see someone] due to last minute hysterical emailings of a major work (whoopee!) and we compared essays and expressions of adoration. You can never express exactly how you feel properly, succinctly and entirely unambiguously, there is never the perfect moment to work or speak or communicate exactly, but these can still be messages worth transmitting.
That night I texted him to sleep over but he didn’t get the message until 10:30. I somehow got him to have a FIVE and a HALF minute shower and even though I was drowsy and looking forward to sleeping for once, he came round. To save time and make it possible for us to get to sleep before midnight (close but no cigar), he came through the french doors already wearing his pajamas. They are tartan and almost as adorable as him. I think he left them here for future visits. We kissed a lot and slept.
Today:
28/8 – We woke up, and some more kissing persuaded him to ring in and hoarsely whinge something about bad seafood to his boss. I had to look away to stop laughing incriminatingly. I got agitated because I couldn’t sleep and I had intended to be well-rested and get heaps of work done today – mostly I was agitated about being agitated. Nervous about being nervous. Anyway, then I hardened the fuck up and shook my arms and legs to feel awake. Lots of kissing. I fuss constantly with my music and it’s very unromantic, but last night I made kissing playlists :)
So I checked that there were a few good tracks ahead of us, and, shaking, responded late to some silly conversation with ”..love you, stupid-head.” Lying with my head on his chest, shy. I looked up and made eye contact, smiling sheepishly. He stared at me for a moment (we have a joke “You’re doing that thing where you look at me again!” “Sorry! Didn’t mean to!”) before kissing me deeply and suddenly sort of spinning me around. Strong arms. Lying above me. Looking down tenderly, “I love you”, in his half-whisper. “Phew!” I said, pretending to wipe my forehead (another joke, from one time I remarked that I liked him and he replied with a massive exhale and “Well, thank GOD for that!” ). He grinned and we carried on.
A lot of trust, here. He drove me to school and I told him how I so often wanted to tell him I loved him whenever he drove me home, but I thought he’d crash the car, haha. He kisses my hands at stop signs.
In phone notes:
9.57am when I checked the clock.
Minus Fiona Apple which had just finished = 4:09
Minus 3.34/2 = 1:47 min of The End’s Not Near, which was playing at The Time
Total = 5:56
Time of ILY= approx. 9.50-1am
Blessed.
