love my life

i am very self-loathing right now. but even though i see some issues with myself i will still love my life. i swear it. i wont just sit here on the internet all day, smoking. which is what i am inclined to do when i am very depressed.

i just have to look on the bright side i guess.

i love my life a lot more than i use to. i don’t have many complaints except for things like problems with family sometimes. i do a lot of fun things with my friends. having good friends who are open minded and accepting makes a big difference. and working in a place where the people are cool helps. i know i would love my life more if i was doing meaningful work well that i enjoyed. and if i had more money it couldn’t hurt but you don’t need money to be happy. at some point i would like to have those things (a bit more money and a job i really loved and a good relationship with a great guy). until then i am still happy though.

i guess the biggest reason i am disappointed with myself is that i haven’t had truly satisfying relationships. i have great friends, they love me to death. but my love life … i just cant seem to find someone i really connect with. as time goes on, and i start to age… its really starting to bug me. its still early in my dating life, and i guess im lucky to have 2 decent/good ones already. but they were a bit short lived. and its only gotten better with time. and i have learned A LOT over the past years. but someday i guess. im told i shouldn’t worry about this too much, but it really does bother me.

i used to have this on my list as i really hated my life.. but now its not so bad.. i mean i have been through so much bad things this year it seems .. but i don’t hate myself for it.. but im not totally happy with how things are either. i have such a presure on myself to be perfect, a drive, motivation.. to just keep getting better.

after this recent break up.. i feel so confused what and if i did wrong and how to fix it.. what she said and what i did are 2 different things.. im just soo confused right now.. no relationship should have been so difficult. i dont know what happend… and no i cant fix or talk about what went wrong.. even after the talk of closure.. it just made me more confused…
i really hope this clears up soon, i was so happy just a week ago.

One thing that I can do about loving my life is to stop thinking about how I wish I had someone life, or friends, or wish I was them. I’m going to start being happy with what I have my health, my boyfriend, and my friends. SO I decided to give up reading people maginzine, teen people .com,and looking at other people ,myspace with eny

I have so many gray hairs it is unbelievable and I am only 15! I lie to my friends and tell them it is because I dye my hair alot but that is very untrue. I hope maybe if I get down to my goal weight I will be happier, more confident, and I will start feeling better about myself.

I know I have so much to be thankful for, so why do I feel the way that I do? I feel sad and depressed…Maybe I have to Love Myself First Before I can Love My Life? Hmmmm

i am single again. and now i think again about my life.
do i love my life?
recentry, my brain my thoughts are all negative. i want to get out from this negative spiral. i want to beliave that i am woth living this life again.

Yeah I’ve found out that when I do something good for someone I get something good in return so it’s time to change from being a complete bitch to a nice tolerable person, even though i’m stuck in Iraq. I need to take lots of pictures out here and happy ones. I need to stop arguing with my husband and become a better understandable wife and mother. It’s time to change…

Ijust can’t believe how much my life has changed this past year and how happy I am with my life now. I had to take steps to change my life but the changes that I’ve made have made me so much happier with my life.