When The Demon was a little one and learning how to shit on a pot, she got in the habit of wiping, standing up and looking at her stools swirl around the bowl on the way to eternity, and saying, “Bye, caca!“

I picked up the habit and now do exactly the same thing…17 years later.

God, sick or what? 6 years ago

I don’t like opening letters without a letter opener. I have a few that I have yet to open because someone took my letter opener. 6 years ago

52. Sigh…

I’m watching Frederick March dance with Myrna Loy while Hoagy Carmichael plays the piano…and it’s making me cry.

Sigh… 6 years ago

51. I hate swinging.

I mean, the kind that’s done on swings…in a playground.

I’ve always hated swinging. For the past fifty-some years I’ve been pretending like it was ok, when I really just gives me a headache. 6 years ago

50. I can’t smell shit.

Not a colloquialism for not being able to smell. I literally can’t smell the odor of feces.

I had an unfortunate incident with MTBE many years ago…that left me totally unable to smell for about a year. As it gradually came back to me, my sense of smell was weird as was my sense of taste.

Anyway, since then I have been totally unable to smell crap.

I can go into the most horrid and odiferous of gas station toilets and smell nary a thing. 6 years ago

49. I can comfortably understand International Morse Code sent at 70 words per minute.

So? 6 years ago

48. I find people with dirty hands repulsive.

Not just common working dirty hands…but those like bums have…you know, with the dirt ground in along the length of the fingers and black under the finger nails.

Filth… 6 years ago

Let’s see:

1.I am nearsighted and have a turned left eye.
2. I was born with flat feet and wear orthodics my whole life.
3. While on vacation in Mexico, twice, I won two arm wrestling contests.
4. I have been in about five major auto accidents and walked away from all of them, except the automobile didn’t.
5. I have had only four best friends, the last one being my wife Diana, but you already knew that.
6. I beleive I have had about three ghostly encounters, two which I can remember, one I can not. 6 years ago

47. I used to be an alter boy.

Yeah, one of those kids wearing a dress and kissing some priest’s ass in church.

No, I never did get any head from one of ‘em. I guess I should have poured them a little more wine, eh? 6 years ago

46. The only colors I know and understand are the primary colors.

Mauve and beige and aqua marine and all that shit means absolutely nothing to me. 6 years ago

45. I am absolutely bored to tears with baseball.

Plus, to call these fat, tobacco chewing, ball hiking, pussies athletes is simply bullshit. The fuckers RUN off the field if three rain drops fall.

Pitchers get tired and have to rest?

Please.

Too, could the goddamned game take ANY longer?

Wake me up when it’s over, would youse? 6 years ago

44. I love gardening and growing house plants. 6 years ago

43. You know those tissues in public toilets for putting on the seat? I’ve never used one.6 years ago

42. I really enjoy Meet the Press.6 years ago

41 (Related to #40…) I really enjoy “menstrual” sex.6 years ago

40. I have absolutely no sexual inhibitions at all.6 years ago

39. It makes me FURIOUS when someone raises his or her voice to me.6 years ago

38. I always wash my hands BEFORE I pee…NEVER after.6 years ago

37. I don’t think I have ever washed my feet. It seems to me they should get clean just standing in all that soapy shower water.6 years ago

36. I couldn’t care less if my clothes are clean or dirty.6 years ago

1. take pics of anything and everything
2. hate fast food
3. dream of travelling everyday of my life
4. love 3 doors down
5. can’t sing/ act worth anything but love singing and acting anyways 6 years ago

35. I hate cups with thick rims. 6 years ago

34. I often have lint in my navel.

Probably due to all the hair trapping it in there. 6 years ago

33. I hate cottage cheese.

Although, I LOVE frottage cheese…go figure… 6 years ago

32. I cum like a moose.

Way too much semen for any mere mortal, and a virtually un-ending supply. 7 years ago

31. When I get very sleepy my eyes feel all greasy and oily. 7 years ago

30. I cannot stand having dirty fingernails. 7 years ago

29. I have raised procrastination to a fine art. 7 years ago

28. The sound of fingers scraping down a blackboard doesn’t bother me in the least. 7 years ago

27. When I get ANGRY my temper is nearly uncontrollable.

Luckily, I’m all burnt out and don’t really get angry…any more… 7 years ago