drink more water/concentrate more on my health

This is the end of the challenge for me.
And you know, I think I can consider this to be a success.

I’ve really re-evaluated my eating habits and I think now, for the most part, I’m conscious of the things I put in my body. I make sure to get as much water in me as I can and maintain vitamin/bc pills as well, so overall I think I am definitely in a better place than I was when I started it.

Overall:
Sleep nearly eight hours a night (forced myself at first, now I look forward to it)
Drink 8-12 cups of water/day
I’m getting more fiber and protein and good carbohydrates.
Lost 7 pounds! (maybe more, I haven’t weighed myself this week), and gained muscle.
Bought a swimsuit that I’m comfortable in NOW.
Dropped about 2 pant sizes.
Skin looks AMAZING.

This is an ongoing goal, but the challenge has been a success.
Thank you everyone who supported me.

But not in actuality – only on 43t.
I think overall I’ve been doing really well.

I signed up for sparkpeople a little over a month ago, and I weighed myself a week ago, and had lost 7 pounds. Everything fits better. I fit better in my skin. I’m more at peace with my body. I really like how sparkpeople gives you the tools to become healthy – not just to lose weight. I know how to lose weight unheathily, but I wanted to learn how to do it right.

I have so much more energy. My nails are healthy, my hair is healthy from drinking water and taking vitamins and working on getting more protein in my diet. I think the cute meat guy at the store things I go just to talk to him (though, thats part of the reason – I need more protein!).

Lexi’s back in about two weeks, but I probably won’t try to get any work done until a little while after that, partially for financial reasons, and partially because I want to get a little more in shape before I have him do any more work.

I’m recapping, haha.

I think I’ve finally recovered from the trauma/stress of the last month or so.

I went today to the counselling appointment I made last week, turns out I didn’t actually make it with a counsellor, but the woman I spoke with managed to walk me through the entire process and informed me of everything. We talked about the things that were bothering me, the ways they manifested themselves and plenty else. She seems to think that most of my anxiety and depression is purely situational, and for the most part, I’m doing really well taking care of the other things that bother me (body image, avoidance, lack of socializing). She suggested I still come to a walk-in appointment with the counsellors to see whether or not I should begin some semblance of a regular counselling session to work with past situations (that she picked out right off the bat.)

Aside from this, I’m still cooking, drinking water like a madwoman, and I finally had my first caffienated beverage since.. Sunday. Which, for me, is a big deal.

I also found out I weigh 140, and thus, more than I thought. And, apparently, I’m shorter than I thought I was (not even 5’2! Eek!) Not terrible, but certainly motivation to get movin. I’m taking my son out after his nap to go ride bikes at my school (so I can return overdue class videos, and pick up the next batch.)

I’ve been sleeping a lot more, and a lot better. I feel rested in the mornings, except for the timezone change. That’s kinda messed me up a bit, but I’m groovin along.

Hooray for beautiful weather and feeling better.

Well. Hell.

To analogize my last week, lets say you’ve got a cup with ten holes in it, holes that you MUST keep from spilling water. You have ten fingers. Easy, right?

Now imagine that someone fills your cup with water. You quickly cover five of the holes only to realize your other hand has been tied behind your back.
What do you do?

The childcare center I enrolled my son in called me at 5:30 on the night I was returning from his father’s with him (we didn’t get home until 10) to find that they have decided not to enroll him.

So I’ve got a three year old, two jobs to work, and no one to watch him. Fabulous.
But within a day, I managed to get him back into his old old school. The one I couldn’t afford before. But I’ll just have to deal with that and figure out how to handle money better.

Which brings me to my next trick: I’m going to do everything in my power to avoid fast food. Granted, I was ridiculously depressed last week, and food=comfort, but I realized that ten transactions in a row on my banking statement were food. Chriiiist.

I’m cooking though :)
I figure by the end of this quarter (Mar 23) everything will be great. So I’m going to keep truckin along until we get there.

I found my son a new daycare last night.

This was really freaking me out because my only other option (since he goes to his fathers across the state two weeks out of every month, scheduling is often the biggest problem), was a Christian-based childcare center that prayed at every meal and snack as well as read from the Bible and had Chapel every Tuesday.

It was a great facility, but we are not a religious family. I wasn’t raised in a religious family either, so the whole idea is uncomfortable. I have no problem with the bible whatsoever (I consider it to be a book of morals, really..) but I do have a problem with people teaching it to someone who can’t have any say in whether or not they want to learn it. Therefore, I knew that facility wouldn’t work out for our family.

The facility I did find is absolutely incredible. It’s right on the busline to school (which is seven miles from home), next to a branch of my bank, right by the mall (and the Chuckie Cheese, which my son naturally LOVES!), and it’s well protected (punchcode entry, high fences, office RIGHT by front door, shuttles for the children when they take daytrips), clean, expansive (they have an outdoor covered play area as well as three (THREE!) different playgrounds outside (one of which is a field for the kids to run around in). I met his teacher (and her adorable son!) and liked her right off the bat, as well as the classroom. Some of the other parents were young, hip, and tattooed (Which is comforting, haha. I’m not the only one!) and the director was gregarious and smiled a lot.

This place feels good, and I know he’s just going to love it.

But being in a class with 14 other boys might help too ;)

So, I’m getting on track with eating well and drinking more water. I’m even excited to announce that I’ve been cooking nightly and taking leftovers to work (Woo!) I’m good with taking all my pills too, so for the most part, this is going really well.

I’ve taken the focus off wanting to lose weight even though there was never much of a focus to begin with because I know as I eat better and become more active (as the weather gets nicer) these things will fall into place as well. The antibiotics I was taking are finally working their magic and I’ve been sleeping better (longer), so I know I’ll have the energy to really get back into working out here as soon as I handle some other familial issues (finding my son a new daycare by Friday!).

Which brings me to my next idea. I’m going to start utilizing the campus counselors. I don’t consider myself to be mentally ill, but it sure is nice to have someone to listen to whatever the fuck is stressing you out, tell you you’re not crazy, and give you advice to manage your stress better.

I decided this today when I was calling daycares in Olympia and happened upon a very nice center (that I’m going to go check out tonight.) The conversation was great, even though she mentioned that they don’t take part-time stay childcare. I figured it would be another ‘x’ on the list, until she quietly said “are you in a bind?” at that point, I nearly fell apart and could barely tell her that I indeed was. She then told me to come check it out and we’d work something out.

Crying on the phone is not quite conducive to being at 100%. Especially not to a stranger. I’m glad I was able to keep it together so she couldn’t tell that I was upset (or shaken?) by her kindness.

It’s probably just hormones acting up as it is, but I really, really want to be at 100%.

About having to take a medication that will, certainly, make you feel ill due to it’s side effects. ‘Must take twice a day with food’ (dinner and breakfast, except I really just graze all day. Never enough to be considered an actual ‘meal’ at one point.) ‘May cause stomach ickies’ (thats not the actual wording, but I wish it were…), ‘the effictiveness of birth control pills may be altered by certain medications (so much for my weekend plans!), etc. etc..

It’s like you’re just waiting. Waiting to find out if the aforementioned events will happen thanks to this 875 mg horsepill from hell.

Though, I suppose this antibiotic will make it so I can actually walk to the store (thats less than a mile away) without having to stop halfway and take a rest because I’m ridiculously fatigued. And I won’t have the sinus infection/plugged ears/ voice that sounds like a three-pack-a-day smoker

You win some, you lose some.

Besides, I hear that the stomach ickies promote drinking water.
And really, isn’t that what this goal’s all about?

So I finally made it into the walk-in clinic, which was certainly a bustling hub of activity at ten in the morning. Which makes sense, because according to WebMD, 18-25% of Thurston County feels like crap right now. Myself and the doctor that saw me included. She was completely healthy, but couldn’t talk above a whisper.

I however, sound like a husky prepubescent boy/mouse creature. Its’ pretty terrible. Or hilarious, whichever strikes your fancy.

So, apparently, I have sinusitis. I got sick a month ago, and just finally felt normal enough (IE: not fatigued) towards the end of last week, and managed to get sick this week again. Even my freaking TEETH hurt, for cripes sake. So now I get to take giant horsepills of antibiotics for the next two weeks, and pray for the best.

I want to be healllllllllthy, damnit.

My workout schedule is so messed right now.
1 Week on
1 Week sick
1 Week tattoo/tattoo recovery
1 Week on
1 Week sick again.

I’m going to get in touch with my resident fixed-gear freak friend Morgan and ask him how I can find a decent (CHEAP) roadbike. We’ve got a program here called bike 2 bike, but I almost worry it would be taking advantage of their services – they cater to low income, women, and homeless people.

But i AM low-income, and a woman.
But would specifying a ROAD BIKE be too assumptive? Who knows.

I’m making seared tuna with veggies tonight. Wooo, stoked.

Well, I stopped eating as much crap.

Because I’ve been sick enough to not want to eat much of anything.
I do love my orange juice though.

Middle ground. Thats all I’m asking for! Haha.

I fell off the wagon.

Tomorrow’s a new day, and a Monday at that.
Besides, I’ve been cooking lately. Baby steps.