beat cancer

is the second time my sister in law beats me, I call the police this time & press charges, my mother is asking me to drop them because that will hurt my brother (is he´s wife, ) and child.

today she beat me in front of their kid , I try to defendmyself but my mom holded me & no one helped me , I am just now back from the hospital.

Frankly. Frankly. I am tired & won´t give up the charges, since I have gave her the oportinity to apologize. she never apologized the firts time she hurted me last year on Nov.

today she beated me over a domestic issue. I a m 27 single, she is 25 married to my brother & accuses me that I am trying to steal the love of the baby away. to me that is the most painful part she is so wrong. I just happen to LOVE my nephew.

my mom is crying that if iu do not drop the chargers I´ll hurt her, the baby (4yrs) and my brother whom is a Leukimia survivor. ( I donated my blood to hem) I lended money to them, even my car, for months & took the bus to my work place.

Frankly I need the Torah point of view, since I am pressing charges against her for battery & emotional & phisycall abuse. they do not have money. they live in my house wich I support…I can´t take it!!!

I am desparate asking G-D to punish her for what she did m, butt at the same time I feel bad for my brother & mom. even when my brother did not apologized for her either.

I am like in the middle, I am the victim, but my mom is asking me to not to go foward since she is trying to put me in a guilt trip. I ask my mom, dpes she has the civil value to apologize??-the answer is no.

& I still need to have her in my housefor a weeekkkkkkkkkk!!!!!!! a whole week!!!!!!!!!! she won´t go! and the title of my house is my mother name so I can´t trow her away!!!!!!!!

today 10:30 am after the citation for my sister in law to go to court she apologized & I hope she will never do it again….however I do not feel any better so I am planing to move out in 3 weeks or so.

Wish me luck please

May G-D our lord bring justice & peace.

I am crying because my Dog died 3 weeks ago & now my other dog was hit by a car and killed, I feel very lonely, no one talks to me in the day & I have no one to talk to, is quite depresing. I aplly for 4 cats (adoption) all well I was rejected on my first 2 options, I think G-D is punishing me, I dont feel like going to school or going to work, or my bible class, I am not sure If I want to live this life, tomoroow I have to take care of my brother to the hospital, he hates me , but there is no other one to take care of hem, I am still going to hospitals for regular checks for me, I feel like all the attention is for hem, and his wife & child, & there is nothing left for me, as if I was a necessary bad. My mom says I am a good daughter but is always talking about her job and things & is all about her, is like an monologe. I am really feeling like a burden, like a thing. my brother is going for marrow bone test this weekend, and I am still thinking why…....

I feel so afraid to be in a hospital, I am starting to feel scared of been sick my self

well My brother & I still in a bad bro & sister relationship. he seems so disconected, now school Excite me & my own health issues worry me, my dog died last week. I am so depress , I misses my doctor appointment, & now I have to pay for that.

feeling upset & sorry , for what he is going by, but still he doesnt want to talk to me or let me talk to hes kid. I feel very sad & rejected. like he hates me .

I guess i need theraphy myself…. did I say that twiece..?

The Doctor Told us hes’chance is 50% this last 2 weeks 4 people have died, today a men w/tumor will die in a few hours. I got a ticket last week & I tought was the only thing to worry about. I feel like a selfless bicth…... I am so worried in my stupic ticket & court than the “neighbor” in my brother’s room.

I guess is a psicological way to see it. I focus in small crap to overcome the BIG issues in my brother life w/ LMA…. is easy to live that way for now.

but we are “celebrating a 50% chance!”

I feel really sad to think i can age and have nobody to remember w/me my gandparents & my mother & father after they pass away.

I feel I may need to go to theraphy myself….i’m kind of unwell…..

Cheer up world…T_T

Thank you all very much for your words, encouraging, my grandma told me that maybe is sins we pay in this earth, my mom thinks G-D gave us this because He trust us to do fine.he’s in the second chemo, loss the hair already & feel sad about it, My mom reminded hem the day he made her pay $ 50 to get a “bald look” at the hair salon 10 years ago, & how much he enjoyed (back then, so in hope he can try now), I feel like mixed feelings, I feel very sad he is ill but in the other hand I feel afraid that if he doesn’t feel, get better after the Chemo, I will have no option that to offer for bone marrow donor, I have heard is painful, & have some risks involved, but also will be very sad to me to loose my only brother. I wanted to marry have kids & call my brother one’s a year! like everybody else, I even joke w/ my brother & tell hem that I want hem back home to fight with hem, I miss hem healthy. ... I guess that makes me a bad person…. I will start going to therapy group because I feel so much guilt, for all the time I wasted instead of enjoying my brother, I wish we could go back… it’s just so sad that I can;t concentrate at work, or school, I just feel kind of depressed, not sure is is clinical but I still need to smile for mom.

I also have a question, my brother & I are hispanic, my boyfriend is caucasian, we all are B+ blood type, If I have a baby w/ my boyfriend, can be use (the cord blood, cells) for my brother? I rather a baby than a marrow bone extraction. just here day dreaming, yesterday he had a internal bleeding.

he is feeling kinda bad, the doc says is normal, I feel more empathetic towrds hem & pray to G-D to find more love for my brother, I think my mom is right , she says G-D love us very much & thats why give us so much to carry on.

I already miss my Bro.. in the house. T_T

I am not ill, but my brother is ill of leukemia

Ok, this is the drill, my brother about 4 moths ago felt a horrible pain in the back, and he went to the doctors them tough discarding ill ness, maybe the kidney, maybe anemia, maybe the hip bone…. many doubts.
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He was diagnose in November w/ leukemia, & this week 02/19/09 is has first chemo, I am sad, frustrated & angry not at my brother but against hem. I feel worked out, abused & I feel that he, nor has wife having never said thank you, for all the problems we go thru.

Now my mom tells me, that after donating my blood, and my time, baby sitting has son, and my money helping in the support of my brother & family due this illness, I should try the marrow bone thing… I said no, after all is my life in danger of a bad procedure. Anyways the doctors told me to be a marrow bone donor will be the last recourse to use (we live in Mexico) and thank G-d, here the medical care is free. I hope one day I am able to overcome the frustration, and anger…

I have read in the internet that some family members of a leukemia patient become angry, or over protective, or careless… I am in the last category I guess, inside of me I do not feel guilt for saying no, to my mom demands, he tells me I HAVE to got to the hospital & caregiver my brother, that means , cleaning after has puking, bleeding etc, when all he’s life he have been the meanest brother on heart. He is my only brother & while healthy he did not even said a “good morning” to me. I am sure if I was in his situation he will totally ignore me, until now after a donated my blood he did not either he’s wife said thank you. I do not feel like I have to be rewarded, but at very least acknowledged, that after all (he’s mean wife) I am helping. My mom tries to make me feel that I must do it because is my brother. But I told her, why?? All I have done is not good enough… so why bother! – She calls me selfish… I call her selfless… and manipulative, due my nephew she tries too place me in a guilt free, saying your nephew is a baby he needs he’s dad… & what the heck, am I G-d? Did I decide this???
What about me? I also need help! – I want to go to college, And marry, and buy my own house and live my life, I do not want to be an spinster … I already care give my grandpa (& I feel happy & honored by, Grandpa always was nice to me & told me all kind of histories about he’s trips) but my mom as a child she always said to us… you 2 monkeys each of you grab your own rope… or… is none of your business , let your brother/sister mind he’s own affairs.

So now after years, he calls and tells Mom, not me, Mom to help hem out by supporting hem. My mom says he is a pain to carry, but in case he dies she does not want to regret, as if the idea of death is going to make me feel or think, -gee, poor hem, I better help my sister in law & hem , because death could happened. I told my mom that is horrible to do something you do not feel because “of what if. IF”

I feel like I can feed a homeless, donor my blood to an estrange person, but I do not know why I feel like this…. I feel like I do not care & is not that I do not love my brother, I do …. But is just estrange…. Does someone has felt, feel the same way… what can I do??? What is happening!??? I am single, no kids but had to support the bitch of my sister in law, & she demands like is my wife, I Have to teach her kid, because she is busy all day at the hospital (true) but is annoying!! I also have a life & wan to go out on weekends, my life has disappeared, all my uncles and close family started to feel me, to see this, they think I am witch. ... The bad one. Is so horrible. But I can’t help it. & none of them helps either economically nor in time.( not even blood , donations)

Some one can help ?
I need help!

Diagnosed with a 3.5 cm tumour. Renal cell carcinoma. Went to Princess Margaret Hospital Toronto and it was removed by traditional open surgery along with 25 percent of my kidney. Five days in hospital. One month off work. 100 percent full recovery with a better appreciation for life.

chemo is really a difficult experience right after treatment…it totally zaps my energy, terrible taste in my mouth, headaches beyond belief, sleep sleep sleep, and this last for five days after, second treatment was far more difficult than the first…being bald is strange for me i look like a man from the neck up….but i will not let it define me…i am thankful i am halfway through the hard part..God is been good to me…i have a beautiful life and beautiful friends and family, the support and love is unreal, it has made me a better person….