be more disciplined

I’ve come to realise it has nothing to do with discipline or lack thereof, but with not unnecessarily forcing yourself through things you have no interest in, or into patterns that aren’t good for you. When I am doing the right thing, feeling stimulated/in a positive environment and making use of my talents, I am a dedicated worker. I need to remember this.

So I know what i need to do, I just need to do it….But thats the trick isn’t it. After reading other peoples entries it seems to me that it’s a question of momentum and setting myself up for success. Well, thats the plan!

I want to get to the point where I enjoy getting the chores out of the way first, without getting distracted by other leisurely stuff. Distraction is a BIG problem for me :(

hi

Okay, I’m reading Buddhist literature to help with this, but also brushing up on psychology issues, improving nutrition and exercising more. I have some big problems. 1. I never want to get out of bed. Prefer to stay in bed and think at the start of the day until I’ve figured out breakfast or something. 2. Sustained attention. Horrible. I take frequent breaks, usually after 50 minutes. The harder I concentrate the more useless I become. 3. Train of thought. Vivid Imagination coupled with Endless Curiousity = Abandoning the mundane.

Maybe it’s all perspective. Maybe it’s all diligence. Maybe it’s a lack of attention. Maybe it’s capping production expectations. Maybe it’s all about never stopping. I don’t know.

I forget to repeat my good actions. I need to do it over and over until, the action becomes a habit… I.e. like closing the Garage door without thinking about it.

Steve Pavlina :

Perhaps you try to work a solid 8-hour day without succumbing to distractions, and you can only do it once. The next day you fail utterly. That’s OK. You did one rep of 8 hours. Two is too much for you. So cut back a bit. What duration would allow you to successfully do 5 reps (i.e. a whole week)? Could you work with concentration for one hour a day, five days in a row? If you can’t do that, cut back to 30 minutes or whatever you can do. If you succeed (or if you feel that would be too easy), then increase the challenge (i.e. the resistance).

I must admit that I just got tired of living a life where I was always picking up the pieces for not having done something sooner. I just wanted to feel more in control of myself and my world. And that exhaustion with this silly drama has meant that I have just accepted that I am a grown up & that some things just need to be done for me to have the life that I want. So here I am. It’s several months, 1 PDA, many books, many plans that have been made, broken, recreated, scrapped, remoulded…..and finally I believe that I have done this. Not be more discplined, but simply worked consistently towards the life that I want & towards being the person I want to be. And that’s brought me more discipline.Most of the time. Which is just enought space to have some fun & flexiblity.

Clarity? Consistency of perspective? I want to commit to doing things that I want to do and not get 1) distracted 2) bogged down by details or tedium in the middle.

A better picture of the outcome attached to the task? A less compromised self esteem? (“I deserve this”) I don’t know, in a way sitting here typing about discipline isn’t exactly the embodiment of it, ‘too much to do right now. So…

Bye.

Essential to living the life you want.