Stop Picking At My Face

I’ve been trying the 43 things updating for almost a month now, and its going super well today! Haven’t really picked, and I think I’ll be looking good on Thanksgiving, that’s always nice!!

I’ve been doing great on these two strategies:
- Put makeup on in the morning soon as I get up
- Every time I go in the shower, I bring whatever clothes I’m going to change into, and then I don’t look in the mirror (easy! it’s steamy!) and then don’t go back in the bathroom at all!

If I stick to this, I can do it!

My face is almost better, but I use that as an excuse to keep picking! Aaaaagh. I feel like part of this is that its like body dysmorphic disorder, where no matter how skinny you get, you still think you’re fat? Not matter how clear my skin gets, I see things, and then I ruin my face getting them out. The main thing I can do it keep busy, but that mirror in my bathroom won’t go away!

My face is looking good, the problem is I keep picking at things I think are no big deal but I think they are adding up and slowly keeping me in the cycle of having things on my face. It’s always like “oh next week my skin will be clear, one more week and it will look great.”

I picked this morning first thing, but not badly. I just want to not have to reapply my makeup before I go out at night, I want to wear cool eye makeup, or blush… I think if I get my 21 days without picking I will celebrate by going to get my makeup done. So far I’ve only done one consecutive day.

I can’t decide what is more important, to save time by not picking, or for my skin to look good. I think I’d actually rather just never ever pick, because then my skin would look good and I wouldn’t waste so much time. But when there is something under my skin I get so tense and anxious I have to let it out! But no, I have to practice waiting for that feeling to pass… sigh, so hard!

My face has way less huge open things on it, and mostly everything is flat but red. Because usually I have at least one really horrible spot on my face, the fact that I don’t now kind of draws attention to how my skin has lots of pits and things. I don’t mind this too much, and I actually think that it can heal if I only manage to leave it all alone! I have a section near my left eyebrow that I need to leave alone, and I will, I will!

I have to remember that my concealer brand (which is pretty much saving my life, and the only thing making it safe for me to go outside, kind of a big deal)is discontinued. I have to fix this before I run out!

I’ve been having this problem where I don’t pick at all for most of the day and then I tell myself I’m only going to fix one little things and then I go crazy. I’ve had that for the past couple days, but right now I have an almost totally scab free face. There’s lots of red marks and stuff, but hopefully by the weekend a lot will have faded and I’ll be almost clear.

Four hours later:

Still haven’t picked, but am just excited thinking about how fun my life will be if I don’t spend so much time picking! Today I am going to make it a goal to go to a bathroom five times and look in the mirror and not look for something to pick, just smile.

unfortunately, we life in a world that judges you within seconds of seeing you. i don’t want to be seen as someone who just doesn’t care because i pick at my face. it is a horrible habit that i need to break. i want to look people in the eye and let them know i care about myself. my skin should be the last thing holding me back from pursuing what i set out to do.

Even though I just picked, yesterday I did not pick at all, not once! So though I picked today, I have totally been improving. My skin looks better and better, I bought myself a new makeup brush to celebrate. I already find myself not as interested in picking all the time! Going great! I think I will still keep trying for 7 pick free days though, and then 21.

There are three times I always pick:
-morning, before makeup
-when I come home, sometimes taking off, sometimes reapplying makeup
-before bed

The one before bed is the most major, because I do it when I know I won’t have to see anyone—it’s dark and my skin will have all night to heal. But it messes it up in the morning, because then I have to fix things from the night before so I can get my makeup on flat and not have super-anxiety during the day. So tonight, though I have already picked this morning, my goal is to just not pick anymore. Even though its night and I don’t get to count this day, still I will not pick. It will be setting me up for a good day tomorrow! And it will make the rest of today good!

Another thing motivating me is that the best revenge is looking good. I think most people don’t know about my picking, because I’m pretty handy with the makeup and it doesn’t look awful at all. In fact, I’m surprised often by how people find me pretty. But up close I get anxious, and in bright lights also. But I want that to change.

It’s amazing how much better my skin looks and how much more confident I feel from a week of reduced picking. Though I still haven’t gone a whole day without picking, being conscientious about it and not picking all the time has improved my appearance significantly. I picked this morning a tiny bit, so today can’t be a day 1, but maybe tomorrow could. I’m not going to consider this conquered until I do 3 weeks without picking AT ALL (I saw someone put that as a goal and it sounds great) and who knows how long that could take. But even just a reduction has made me very happy!