Stop Picking At My Face

I have been picking at scabs and spots as long as I rememeber. I have good skin but I frequently ruin it by squeezing pores until they are infected then scar. I just want to get out of this horrid cycle and find another outlet for my stress rather than ruining my face. Hopfully writing down my progress will help me on my way!!

OK – I’ve always had strange habits that all seem to be related to using my hands non-stop. When I was in high-school/college, I would pull my eyelashes and eyebrows out. For about 10 years now, I’ve been a face picker. I will pick at any little bump on my face, whether it’s really a pimple or not. It is such a BAD HABIT! Right when I walk into any bathroom, I feel this compelling urge to lean forward to get close to the mirror and start picking. Over the years I’ve had periods of time when my skin has had no bumps, and therefore, I haven’t picked…but the cysts are back and I’ve been picking regularly now, so my face looks terrible. I want to stop, I want to talk to people close up and feel confident. I can’t believe how hard this is to stop. It seems so stupid. Glad to see I’m not completely alone.

I am very sick. I have a high fever and a sore throat, but at least I don’t feel well enough to stand in front of the mirror!

I’ve had a spot on my forehead for a few days now. I haven’t had much of an urge to pick it. I’ve been feeling pretty good about myself lately. I was exhausted for a couple of weeks, but everything is turning around now! I’ve been eating healthier than I ever have in my life, even better than the beginning of last year! I’m getting back into a fitness routine again too. I have definitely been taking better care of myself lately, even during my usual self hating part of the month! :)

Wow I did so good and now I feel as if I am back to square one. My face looks awful right now. I totally gave in tonight. what a great start to the new year. I can’t let myself do this. I did too good to give up on myself now.

Wish me luck. My face looks horrible. I have all kinds of new and old scars – I look hideous. I got mad at my brother because he posted an unflattering picture of me on my Facebook page – but really I’m mad at myself for letting my face get so bad. I just want to stop. I’ve been picking my face since elementary school. I used to watch my mother and sister pick their faces when I was little. I MUST stop. Please pray for me ya’ll – I’m going to need it.

Thankx!!!!

Wow so I just gave in big time. My face hurts and it is all red and splotchy and a complete mess… UGH. It was like I wanted to stop… but I knew as soon as I stopped I would feel guilty so I just kept on picking so I wouldn’t have to snap out of it. My face has not been looking so great lately. I had some huge painful pimples along my forehead and I just couldn’t keep away. I slowly started to let myself pick in front of the mirror as long as my eyes were closed and eventually that led to today. It just shows that there is NO half-way with this habit. It has to be all or nothing. I need to take this and learn and start breaking this habit again. I stopped for over three weeks last time. If I can do that I can quit for good.

The other morning I looked at my face after a night of picking. I didn’t understand. The previous day I didn’t wear make up and I felt comfortable. We even had friends over and I didn’t feel the need to quickly put some make up on. Then there I was the next day. There wasn’t a chance I’d be stepping out of the house without make up. Today I have a couple of cysts on my face. I’m not sure if it’s because they were provoked from when I was picking at my face or if it’s because I’m nearing my period. Probably both.

I just feel like this has been going on forever and I don’t want to have to admit to myself that I haven’t figured it out yet. It’s embarassing and I feel like it’s never going to end.

I have been having dreams about picking!! I always wake up full of disappointment in myself and then I have a rush of relief because I realize I didn’t actually pick. I have been sort of picking though… not like I used to, but when I’m not looking at a mirror I feel and scratch and squeeze at my face. This doesn’t really result in anything which is good because it doesn’t satisfy me the way it did before, but still I need to stop that too if I want to be rid of the habit completely.

Tonight is the end of the THIRD week I have gone without picking!! This a huge step for me. There is research that says it takes three weeks to break a habit. Even though that is true I still don’t feel I have entirely broken it, but coming three whole weeks makes me feel confident that I CAN break it and I WILL break it. I think this has been more than a bad habit for me. And even though I can truthfully I say I have not stood in front of mirror to pick for the past three weeks… I have not stopped feeling the bumps on my face and rubbing them and irritating them. This is the next step… to stop that!! One thing I am a little disappointed about is my pimples have not disappeared. I think I had the belief that my skin really wasn’t bad and that the only reason I had the red marks was because I picked at invisible things and that made the skin bad. Now blackheads and white heads are springing up everywhere… maybe everywhere is an exaggeration. You do have to look close to see them and they aren’t everywhere… Maybe it has to do with my skin being out of wack after the sudden change from picking to not picking. Probably the more likely reason is that I AM a teen and I will just have to deal with it. BUT on the upside my skin looks fantastic compared to the red marks I had from picking. I no longer feel like i have to hide for pictures. Well, here starts WEEK FOUR. No giving in now!