love my friends as they are

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Real friends only come along once in awhile. It’s not that I don’t like my friends. I do. But to me, they’re not very real. So there is no need to love them. Especially not as they are. Like I said, I’ve come to realise one thing so far this summer. And that is that you can rely on no one but yourself. Screw loving my so-called friends as they are. Learn to love yourself before loving others. I need to start loving, understandingm, and taking care of myself a bit more. 7 years ago


Why are uni people all the same? They are all drunks. And those who don’t drink at all totally weird. Why? Why can’t I find someone I really connect with. Someone who doesn’t feel the need to “go out and get thrashed”. Someone who likes doing other things other than going to the Union on Friday night, coz it’s “the student thing” to do. Someone who loves music as much as I do, maybe slightly more, but isn’t overly obsessed. And by music I don’t mean pop, rock etc., although that’d also be good, but I mean classical music, jazz etc. Someone who has a good sense of humour. Someone who doesn’t patronise me. Someone like my school friends.

It’s not like I don’t like my friends from Uni. It’s just that they are so incredibley dull. They don’t do anything but drink. And gamble. And play football. One dances, but she’s the one most obsessed with drinking. They all get good grades. But so what? Does that make them good friends? Or even good people?

I feel like I’m trying to shape myself into someone I’m not. I nearly succeeding in moulding myself during first year then fell flat on my face. Second year, I’m trying to break the mould, but it’s prooving more difficult than I thought it’d be. I feel compelled to go out if they say they want to go out. I feel like I should go out, because they are. I’m afraid to be alone. And yet, a lot of the time, that’s when I’m happiest.

I think I might give up, because I’m finding it hard to love my friends as they are. They’re ok people, but.. Maybe they’re just not my kind of people. 7 years ago


Why is it a 3s? Someone. Someone else. And me.

It’s not that I don’t like 3s. I do. It’s wicked, coz you don’t just have ONE person to speak to, and it means it’s mostly 2 vs 1, which means there’s always a conclusion to an argument. Unless, of course, one person sits on the fence, which also tends to happen a lot.

This isn’t the point. The point is – I’m always the one who isn’t.. How does one put this? Better friends with someone. Like, I’m always the one that’s kinda left out. And that sucks. I mean, when I’m not the one that’s left out, I always make sure, as much as I can, that the other person isn’t left out. But at Uni. I’m the one that’s left out, and sometimes, I don’t feel like they make the effort.

Actually, I’m lying. I’m not always the one that’s left out. What sucks more is, when you didn’t think you were the one that was left out to start with, then you get kicked up your backside and realise that you are. When that happens, it makes you think, well, was I always the one that was left out?

Piss sake. Apparently that’s what happens in 3s. 7 years ago

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