improve communication skills

I feel i am poor at communication skills, so i want improve in this area.

Someone I know trusted me and let me into their lives. They told me about what was going on with them and what their plans are for this year. I was told I was the only person who knew and they were waiting to tell me this for awhile.

I was told that my thoughts on the matter helped them. I found out that me and this person have more in common that we both knew. We have the same goals and like the same things.

We talked for about an hour and it was the first time in a long time that I wasn’t nervous and I tried my best to listen and not interrupt with my thoughts. It was a good back and forth, like a chess game- one move at a time.

I am hoping that this person and I can become very good friends. Friendship is very important to me.

Today I went to lunch with a friend from work. This woman is so cool and we tried a new Indian restuarant.

I had so much fun. She kept me smiling and laughing and I felt totally at ease around her.

The restaurant was beautiful and elegant and they offered a great lunch buffet. Fresh food, good conversation and good people.

I think I am learning to slow down a bit and try to listen more. I am also more willing to go out with other more too.

I have a lunch date tommorow and one next week.

My goal is to have breakfast, lunch or coffee with all the administrative assistants in my office and then expand outward to meet the lower level managers. I want to expand my circle by talking with people of different cultures, lifestyles and attitudes.

As I get to know more people and hopeful build solid relationship, I want to move up to having meals and going out with small groups of people.

I am okay when it’s one on one, can deal with small groups of people but panic when it’s more than ten people.

I have a lot of work cut out for me but I will take it one person at a time.

Yesterday I went to lunch with one of my managers and had a wonderful time. I was a bit nervous because at first it was a group us going and everyone else cancelled. We decided to go and went to a Steak House.

My manager is a really cool guy and I enjoy working with his team. He was a real gentleman and kept the conversation until my nerves calmed.

The meal was excellent but I couldn’t finish it all (of even half) because of my band. We got to know each other a little better and I found out I am doing a good job at work.

As the lunch progressed I felt more comfortable talking with him.

My husband and I spent a good portion of yesterday talking about our likes and dislikes. We reflected on our marriage and talked honestly about how things have changed.

It was a scary talk for me because I always fear I am going to say the wrong thing. My husband, the brave soul that he is, has no problem of expressing how he feels.

We both agree that we are missing something in our communication and yesterday was his first steps into bridging the gap. I admit that I have issues with talking and he tried to talk about things that would get me to open up. He asked me about things like what makes me happy, what makes me laugh and what are the silly things I like.

We discussed our views on marriage, love, life and our future. We talked about the things we expected from one another and how we viewed each other life dreams. We even addressed thing in each other’s personalities that causes strain in our relationship.

My husband, the master of small talk, was able to get me on even ground. I feel good about this because some how we are trying to address the issues that we can’t ignore.

We made some progress yesterday but our talks are far from over.

I am going to have a lot of practice this week. I met some new people after a company sponsored workshop. I am meeting one of my coworkers who attended for lunch on Monday. I am so nervous.

I met one of the painters during renovations at my job. He went from working corporate to working for himself. His story was pretty cool. He looks like he has fun with what he does. We started talking about how to become a painter and how much money you could make. We also talked about getting out of the corporate realm and into a job that pays for something you love to do.

Normally I couldn’t talk to a guy like him because of my shyness or feeling of not wanting to intrude. I have learned over the last year, if you give a person an opening to talk about stuff they like, they are willing to share.

I am also trying to talk and get to know my team better. I work with a great group of guys. This is the first time I have found a really great team.

I am also trying to get to know my coworkers and management team at my company. It’s a pretty friendly work environment. I try and say good morning to everyone I come in contact with daily.

My confidence in talking with others has improved since I started this goal and for that I am proud.

I have been working on this goal daily. I am still nervous but have been getting a lot of practice when I do my photography.

The feedback has been positive. I have been told I make people feel very comfortable and at ease. One person said I make them feel like they are the only and most important person in a room.

I have tried to learn how to work my way around rooms. I try to talk to guests and see how they are doing.

I have gotten to know people that I see daily on my way to work. I say good morning, good afternoon and good evening to everyone I see.

I’m trying to get to know my team a bit better. We have a group retreat coming up soon and I am looking forward to hanging out with my group off hours. I love my team and I want them to know me more too.

Yesterday I went to do photography at a Bridal Shower/Tea Party.

I wasn’t so nervous as I usually am and I think the books and studying is helping. I met a lot of great women and we all had a great time.

My husband thinks I am great at small talk until I start to think too much.

I get nervous and it all goes to shit and I start to freeze up or babble.

I have been studying up on how to talk with people and the things that make a conversation go more smoothly.

I am reading Dale Carnegie’s book “How to make friends and Influence Others.” It’s a great book and I learned a few lessons.

Listening is key to getting better at small talk. I tend to try to ask people about themselves and ask questions about the things I have heard through out the conversation.

The hard part for me is thinking about how to get the ball rolling. After “How you are doing?” and “Nice party/event”, I am usually at a loss for words.

So I figured that I should look up conversation starters. I am trying to find more opportunites to meet new people and make new friends.

I am horrible with names. For some reason I have a very difficult time remembering names. Dale Carnegie’s book addresses that.