stop sabotaging myself

Fuck, I can NEVER stop thinking, and it often gets me into mindsets that I really don’t want to be in.

To do this…

1. Redirect my thoughts whenever I notice myself thinking in unnecessarily negative ways.

2. Keep myself from acting on impulse if I’m in a bad mood.

3. Remember that people aren’t always judging me or thinking bad things about me.

4. Remember that it doesn’t speak badly about me at all when I ask for help.

5. Remember that the world won’t fall apart if I say “no” to someone (about whatever it may be).

I just realize that I sabotage myself with diets. I’m 38 years old and just this minute I googled sabottaging myself and this came up. Now what to do about it? any suggestions people??/

These qotes help me wanting to be more than what I settle for , for so long

I Like this quote “Laugh at yourself, but don’t ever aim your doubt at yourself. Be bold. When you embark for strange places, don’t leave any of yourself safely on shore. Have the nerve to go into unexplored territory.

“There is only one security, and when you’ve lost that security, you’ve lost everything you’ve got. And that is the security of confidence in yourself; to be, to create, to make any position you want to make for yourself. And when you lose that confidence, you’ve lost the only security you can have. ... Self-confidence is self-determinism. One’s belief in one’s ability to determine his own course. As long as one has that, he’s got the universe in his pocket. And when he hasn’t got that, not all the pearls in China nor all the grain and corn in Iowa can give him security, because that’s the only security there is.”

I need to come to terms with the fact that I’m a failure… On all accounts.

I try as hard as I can, but I’m just not a good person.

blah.

Ok, so I have a list of things I don’t do on a regular basis – there were 34 that I could list when I was making the list and I thought of more later but I didn’t want to exert myself to go and write them down. And I think if I can shift enough to do each of them at least once I can call this done.

BradB’s article from 30sleeps really hit home. Yeah, call it what it is – life destroying self-sabotage! It doesn’t matter why I do it or if I’m addicted to the negative feelings that come with it. What I need to do is what I need to do. I’m so damn tired of keeping my life on hold because of everything I have to do.

at identifying this and I have done it less so I am going to mark this as complete. It is a life long struggle but progress has been made and I am satisfied with the improvement.

“I’ll do it tomorrow” – the greatest labour saving statement ever uttered, because as the cliche goes, tomorrow never comes. We’ve all been in that situation. We all have things we need to do, things we must do, even things we actually want to do and yet we don’t do them? What’s the matter with us? The prognosis is that we’re suffering from a deadly brain disease called procrastination. So what is it and what’s the cure?

Firstly, it is not laziness. Procrastination does not mean inactivity, quite the opposite. It requires a great deal of exhaustive effort directed at any, usually irrelevant, task other than the pertinent quest at hand.

Secondly it’s not through ignorance or lacking something. It is not through lack of a good plan. It is not through lack of good advice. It is not the lack of ability. It is not lack of intelligence. Neither is it lack of time nor money.

Thirdly, and most oddly, it is not because we don’t want the outcome.

Why, when we know what to do, do we still not do it? Why do we fall short? Why the sabotage?

The answer is quite mundane. We all operate on a basis of taking a course of action that leads to the least hassle. We’re all familiar with the scenario: if today is Monday and we’re aware of a certain job that is needed to be completed by Friday morning it would be quite likely to be perceived as a lot of hassle to do the job now. However come Thursday night something interesting happens – we’re suddenly aware that they’ll be more hassle if the job isn’t done. So we do it.

If we break down our motivation even simpler it leaves us with this conclusion: every action we take is designed to lead us to pleasure or to move us to avoid pain. The avoidance of pain (or hassle) is usually stronger than the desire for pleasure. This is why we tend to fight stronger to hold onto something we already have rather than to strive for something better. We associate more pain to acting than to not acting.

So what can we do about it?

If you’re not acting on something and you know you need to or want to but simply don’t, you need to change one of three things about yourself. First you must accept the concept that if you keep doing the things you’ve always done, you’ll keep getting the things you’ve always got. Something’s got to change and it isn’t an external thing either. We have to take responsibility for our in-actions as well as our actions.

Your life is your emotions. There are three forces that control your emotions. The first is physiology that is your biochemistry and the movement of your body. The second is your language, the questions you ask, the metaphors you use, the stories you tell yourself and others about yourself which all re-enforces the third force which is your beliefs and values.

Change one of these three emotion controlling areas, your emotions will change. When your emotions change, your life will change. If you can’t control your emotional state then you must be addicted to certain emotions. You literally could be addicted to the hormones and neurotransmitters that are released when you’re in that particular emotional state. In fact that’s all any addiction is, only instead of an artificial stimulus to trigger the endorphin release such as a drug, you’re doing it with your physiology, your language and your movement.

It’s possible to be addicted to depression, to negativity and to sloth. The good news is it’s just as easy to be addicted to joy, to optimism and to positive action. The choice comes to what you do with your body – do you sit around slouching or get up and move around? With your language – do you repeat the same phrases, use negative terms and dismiss things? Do you believe ‘it can’t be done’ or ‘this always happens to me’ or other global self-defeating phrases?

Just change them. It’s easy to change them. If you’re dismissive of that fact and think it’s hard to change them – watch out! You may have to consider that you might be addicted to cynicism. Consider what affects that addiction may have on future opportunities.

The only thing that prevents you from having what you want is the story you tell yourself which says you can’t have it.

by Ayd Instone

http://ideasworkshop.blogspot.com/2006/04/ill-do-it-tomorrow.html

I don’t even want to get out of bed. Just the thought of trying to find something to wear or deciding what to have for breakfast is so overwhelming that I just want to stay under the covers all day. Some days I do and then I feel even worse, lazy and worthless. On the days I convince myself to get up, to exercise and do some chores I feel so much better about myself.

I have a motto that I got from Craig Harper, “do it anyway”. It’s not the wittiest, cleverest or most inspiring motto I’ve ever heard but it works for me.

I can never find enough motivation to do anything but usually if I “do it anyway”, the motivation finds me.

It sure as hell ain’t normal but we deal.