always be the bigger person

I am feeling bad because I acted very selfishly yesterday. I like being able to do what I want to do, when I want to do it- who doesnt? I have to remember that every single one of my actions creates a reaction and realistically I do not want to hurt anyone I care about.

so. fucking. hard. i am a huge grudge holder. when i’m hurt, i don’t forget it.

i often hatch up plans of how to get revenge & how to “make them feel like they made me feel” & how to prove that i’m the best, but i have not once followed through with any of them. i have somehow managed to always keep my dignity through a host of stupid situations.

this is something i want to retain, but i am having trouble at the moment. i am full of ideas. vengeful thoughts creep up & before i know it i’m slapping my proverbial hand to keep from snatching something i have no right to.

i have to continue to believe in karma. what goes around, comes around. you reap what you sow.