be a grammar guerilla

I’m living in a non-English speaking country, so it doesn’t seem fair to correct the English (even though I see plenty of bad English). It also wouldn’t be worth the risk of getting deported.

There are some newspaper boxes that say “It’s what you need. To know,” that are kind of bothering me. I need to get my hands on a red marker.

I’m not sure of the best way to correct it, though. “It’s what you need to know,” could be interpreted as “It’s what you must know,” whereas I think they mean “It’s what you need in order to know,” which sounds a bit awkward that way, but I don’t know of a better way to get that point across while making minimal markings.

People at my place of employment were instructed “don’t leave your old food in the frig” and I just had to take my company-issued pen and fix that sign.

Saw a sign at Ocean City this weekend, which read:
NY CITY “PIZZA”
Uh-huh. Ok. I am not eating “PIZZA” to save my life. I said I wish I had my Sharpie with me to cross out the quote marks. Jon said I would get arrested for vandalism. But wouldn’t it be awesome to be arrested for grammar, anyway? I think it would be a great story that I could sell to a magazine and start my career as a columnist. I don’t really want to get arrested, though. I just want to correct public grammar.

The sign at the thrift store reads:
Closed on Thursday’s
Thursday’s what?

I read Eats, Shoots, and Leaves, and I need to start carrying around my Sharpie and getting this in line. Who’s with me?