I checked my answers.
Now it’s almost offical that I won’t be able to get into the school I want.

I’ve been crying for 4 hours but now maybe I just have to accept and let it go.

But i know it’s not what I deserve.

Why do I always have to lose
Life sucks

And I think I couldn’t make it…
Too bad.
I didn’t deserve it
No I didn’t

It’s gonna be all over in F-O-U-R days! This Sunday, the painful suffering that I took for 2 years is gonna finnish!!!

And I will hopefully take the conclusion of all the effort I made.

I worked really hard for this and I also dissapointed, cried and screwed a lot, also grew high hopes…

Whether the result is gonna be good or bad, I’m feeling peaceful and quiet, cause I did all I could…

As I always say, this was the biggest challenge I’ve ever had in my life, and I got over it!

And it actually helped to improve my self respect and made me more of a determined person I think.

My studying plan is %100ly finished.

I just truely believe that I’m gonna do my best on the examination too and marking this goal as DONE!

I think I might now be online until exam so,

See you all after exam!

Wish me good luck!

Freaking 19 days left !!!!

Though I’m so damn stressed and nervous, I’m just happy to be finishing with this period. It’ll be soon all over!

I think this has been the biggest challenge I’ve had in my life so far. And if I get through this period without harming myself without getting insane, I’ve really got a right to be proud about myself..!

I know that, I’m good.
Cause I really putted too much effort into it.

It’ll be soon all over and I’ll get what I deserve. Yes, yes. I need to believe this!

I had a 343 from the test that I’ve taken on my birthday, (9th May)!!!

Oh my gosh! I’ve never scored that much on an offical test, and you know what… That score would easily be enough to study Psychology at one of the best universities of here! That test was not effecting my university entrance, but was really good at making me see where I’m… I also believed that I’ve been doing a tough effort and deserving it!

And I know that, I’m gonna score even better at my major exam !!!!

I feel good.

I’ve had two exams at last two days which I think were quite ipmortant to see where I am. And I can freely say that, They were both good – indeed!

The exams included 180 questions and I guess (believe) that I made really high scores! There are 60 Maths+Geometry questions in each tests, and I’ve answered 56-57 of them correctly! Woo hoo! + I am really faster!

I’m happy+hopeful+satisfyed :) And I guess I deserved it, Yay :)

Hope my major university entrance examination to be even better!

was satisfying indeed! I studied since noon after like 6 PM, of course with giving breaks and doing some relaxing stuff…

I’m so happy that today I will go to bed without feeling guilty about my day, cause it was a productive one, indeed!

was the birthday of my best childhood friend and I’ve only solved 50 test questions from Literature Hidtory which I’m already really good at…

It’s still 23.21 which means there are a few hours till going to bed and I can really study some more Integral Theory... I feel a little drunk but I can do it, must do it!

^{Oh boy, I haven’t been studying any little fuck since 5 days, since I’m with Tanja and I’m about to die because of feeling guilty that much :S:S:S}

There are 80 days left !

Less than a tree months :((

It’s really silly that my entire future is gonna be totally shaped in a time of 3 hours and 15 mins and with 180 test questions. But since there’s not a chance to change that system, it’s meaningless to discuss how stupid it is.

^{Studying like hell for 80 days to shape my entire future in the way I want, wouldn’t kill me right?}

I’ve started to get satisfying results from the tests and I’m improving myself day by day…(I believe)

This time, I strongly feel like I’m gonna make it happen!

I have to. I have to. I have to. I have to. I have to… I f*cking have to.