write

i’m going to write a new piece, for the first time in a while. recently, i have created pieces of writing using cut offs from last year’s work. it’s time to create something ‘new’ again. i’m excited

The world is full of writers. I want to be one of them. I need to write every day. I don’t do that. Need to start NOW!

I’ve tried everything else. Well, not really everything. However, I find that I have no musical bone in me. Much to my dissappoinment because I love listening to it and just wanted a part in the music world. I figured there must be something. Then I thought, I love to write. Whether I am good or not I don’t care. All that matters is that I CAN!! It makes me feel good to actually be able to do SOMETHING!!

the bite of the writing bug???

I think I just might.

I want to express myself through writing, and share it. I’m not sure if it would be a book, or articles for newspapers or magazines. maybe just a blog. I know journaling is not cutting it. I think I crave feedback about what I have to say. I also think I have something worth sharing.

There’s some weird reason why ideas and thoughts and templates and patterns I like only come to my mind in English. Maybe the language itself makes those creations of mine sound smart, witty and reasonable, I feel as if I become a different person, a person I like, someone I will or would like to become one day.

See, my problem with writing is that I don’t have a story to tell. One of my secret life aspirations is to become a writer, not only a writer, but someone who is good at their job. I love the idea of creating alternate universes, mingling different concepts, using different stylistic devices to make my point… My fingertips burn up but then I remember that everything worth reading has already been written. At that moment I flick over the things I’ve already written and suddenly the excitement is gone. I mean, why bother?

Still, however, when I come across an article or a blog entry pursuing some creative ambitions, I tell myself that I could do it better.

Well, sometimes I really really think that I could. And maybe my real problem is that I never really sit down and write.

my brother sent me the information for it :) I have the best big brother!

I spent a lifetime working for others, daydreaming by day, trying to write my stories on weekends. All I want to do is write down the stories floating around in my head. All I need is time…

I have just under 13,000 words recorded for August. However my record keeping fell down and I know I had at least two other good writing sessions that didn’t get recorded. It was probably closer to 20,000 and I can’t guess which side of it.

I am not feeling very imaginative lately. A lot of my stories are character-relationship-event driven and for some reason I am feeling rather meh about my characters and their conflicts and relationships.

I do feel I am doing a bit of neurological growth here, growing out of old stories maybe. When nothing appears to be happening sometimes a transition is in progress and a whole new line of ideas are slowly rising to the surface.

We shall see.

When I was in school my teachers told me I had a talent for writing but I cringe when I look back at what I wrote then. And whatever ability I had back then seems to have been knocked out of me by years of study.

But the thought that maybe I could write something someday has always been there in the back of my mind. I remember I met a lovely man, a playwright, who told me not to worry about writing anything good or worthy. If you want to write, he told me, just write. Every day. Write, write, and keep writing. And eventually you might produce something you’re happy with.

I don’t know. I realise now that I address the issue head on that I’m afraid that if I try, I’ll see that I don’t have that ability after all, that those who thought I could were wrong. And another bit of self-confidence gets chipped away. But I think it’s better to know who I really am, what I can really do and whatever confidence I feel be based on reality. Yes, that sort of confidence would me much less likely to crack and chip.

I’m not even sure where to start. But at least I’ve acknowledged that this is something I want to try.