stop being hard on myself

If I do not treat myself with proper respect, who will?
Everything that has happened to me in the past year
has happened for a reason that I have yet to learn.
My grandmother passed away on July 2008 & my father
followed in March 2009 then my turtle Bob. But for
some strange reason it hasn’t hit me. I feel ok about it.
It did make me depressed without me knowing it and I
literally spend 3 days contimplating suicide ( 3 of the
worst days of my life). But after everything I’ve been
getting better. I see everything positive and plan to keep
it that way. I feel stronger and mentally healthy now.
I just stopped being negative, but in the back of my mind
that negativity still roams free and it’s something that’s just
hard to get rid of. :/

It’s so hard to stop the negative thoughts sometimes. I find that a sometimes I am able to look at the positive side of things (say when I do well at work or in my courses) and I realize that I am doing well overall, but the feeling is short lived. Whenever I start something new I always beat myself up if I can’t do it perfectly and I always have such high expectations of myself (and often think that others do the same)
Any suggestions on how to stop the negative thoughts?

i want to stop being hard on myself first.that is the first thing i want to do and i need help.i am going to get my license but i have had a hard life and i think i gotta change everything but in another part of my mind i think i don’t and it is so hard i think i have to get these things out of my mind it is so hard.i hate being this way can anyone give advice that has been or is in the same situation.everything i do i blame myself i hate it and i know i need to change and i know i want to….maybe i will help myself my friend says to turn to god.

I don’t like being hard on myself,i don;t like being myworst critic.I tried to be perfect for so long and now its like i just want to be me i want to accept me,i want to be me.i want to be my friend.why can’t i just be a friend to myself,first and then you know.why would beat up my best witch i really did and i hated it,and i do not like feeling like crap,when i was kid i didn’t feel good when people were mocking me out,but at least i did not have this much pain and i did not think so much.