How I did it: 2007 – 2009 were by far, the worst
years of my life. Drowning in depression, consumed by alcoholism,
credit circling the drain dragging my assets down with it. My life
was a wreck. I'm talking a head on collision with a brick wall at 140
miles per hour. A disaster. But I managed to get through it. It was
difficult, painstaking, and a number of times I wanted to give up and
run away (literally), but I didn't. I held on for some reason, and in
late 2009, made a conscious decision to get better, despite the
effort it would take to do so, which I knew, was going to take every
ounce of strength, will and determination in my body.
The process was a lot more difficult
than I originally anticipated, but in the end, I was able to become a
better person emotionally, mentally, spiritually, financially, and
just about any other kind of “-lly” you can think of. I was far
from healed, but at least doing better than before. It was because of
this journey that I began to see life in a different life. It
developed a new focus, and the more time I spent bettering myself,
the more I wanted to help other do the same. I wanted to expose them
to a life of positivity and optimism, just as I had done for myself.
It was during this time of self
improvement that I participated with a lot of volunteer programs
mainly because I wanted to do something that mattered to someone
else, but also because it would expose me to people whose stories I
could learn from. You'd be amazed at what you can learn from a 10
year old cancer patient, or the spouse of someone suffering with from
Alzheimers. Instead of grief and sadness, their stories were of hope
and confidence. They believed there was so much more to offer in the
world, so much more good that needed to be done, that dwelling on
their own troubles was pointless. If people who had lost so much
could still remain hopeful and confident, what excuse did I have
really? Absolutely none.
The more I volunteered, the more I
wanted to do. I started small, basically committing myself to random
acts of kindness whenever I could. Whether it was holding the door
for someone, offering to buy someone a cup of coffee, or helping a
guy change his tired on the side of the road. The little things you
wouldn't expect someone to do. I later moved on to some of my more
unconventional ways of helping like tapping $20 bills to gas pumps,
paying for a couples meal at a restaurant without them knowing,
leaving positive notes on people's windshields and planting flowers
on random graves. The more I did, the more I wanted to do. When I
talk about the little things I did back then, people often ask me
why, and my only response is why not? I have the money and resources
to do it, so why not? For me the reward was in being able to do give
and help out. I wasn't concerned about any compensation or
repayment. I liked doing. Call it a “happy high” if you'd like
to, because I was definitely on one. But I couldn't stop there.
I sat down and wrote a memo to myself
one day, I call it my Rogue Manifesto. It's a promise to myself and
anyone that reads it, that I'm going to dedicate my life to helping
and giving to people. The Rogue Manifesto itself is bold, and if you
were to read it, you might say it'd down right impossible, but I
believe it is possible. I believe that I'll be able to accomplish and
achieve many of the goals I set out to do. I don't know how I know
this, I just know that it's possible.
One of my biggest regrets in life is
that it took me losing nearly everything, including myself, in order
to gain a better perspective on life. A more humble, compassionate
and selfless perspective. I hate myself for allowing myself to become
someone so self consumed, but I don't dwell on it. Instead I'm
thankful for it because it's made me a stronger, more confident, and
more optimistic individual. During this time I learned to trust
myself more, believe in myself more; it completely changed my outlook
on life and my purpose for living.
Read how I did it… 6 months ago
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