beat social anxiety

Parents that don’t believe you have social anxiety, and want you to discontinue your medication because your sleep schedule is screwed up and they think you’re actually sleeping more, are lame.

I’ll never surrender.

Still on Celexa. I see my psychiatrist on Monday to talk about how things are going with it.

I’m using The Anxiety and Phobia Workbook along with visiting my therapist every two weeks. So far the only thing I’ve adopted is practicing the Calming Breath exercise everyday. I’m going to make an mp3 for the PMR and visualization exercise, and start doing that twice a day this next week along with the breathing. I’ll also be getting back into my exercise routine, but to brisk walking for an hour instead of 30 minutes.

SA goals for this weekend:

1. Get the blood lab that I’ve been putting off done
2. Get my hair trimmed/cut
3. Begin exercising
4. Make mp3

If any of you are like me, you will notice that your perception on life can change in an instant. Life can be good one day, but miserable the next, with no real reason why. The problem that i have is that I easily forget what made my good days so good, and therefore, my bad days can drag on for weeks even.

snap out of it!!

Those negative thoughts in your head and mine can go away if you can remember the good things in life, the good in yourself, and the good in others. Feeling sad/depressed for no reason other than giving yourself an excuse to feel sorry for yourself is a terrible waste of time and energy. I have just realized my life goals/philosophy and here they are. I suggest you guys to write your own positive believes of yourself and life, and to remember them for those times when life has temporarily lost meaning. I hope this helps some of you realize that changing your life only has to do with changing your perception on life :)

My life philosophies:

1)I am a good person, and I deserve the best the world has to offer. How can you suggest a better candidate that yourself? You are the most important person to yourself, so treat yourself that way.

2)Life is too short to be unhappy. You missed out on so many great opportunities already, but many opportunities still await. Make the rest of life count.

3)My goal in life is to be happy. Happiness can take on many forms, and the world offers it in abundance.

4)If you are down on life, remember that every minute you are sad is every minute you could have been happy. Smile and brush it off.

5)Think positive. Life has so many aspects that can be viewed negatively, whether it be working when you don’t want to, doing poorly on an exam, or stumbling during social situations. Life is beyond such frivolous events. Think of how each event has it’s upside and move on.

6)People are not your enemy. Open up to them and you will see that socializing with others can bring you more joy than you have ever imagined.

7)Believe that your inner soul is contained within you all the time. You are that person that you believe yourself to be, and more. Don’t ever forget that.

8)Dare to be the best you have to offer. There is no merit in shrinking down so others feel less insecure around you. If you be your best, you encourage others to do the same.

Those are my life philosophies and i will continue to add to them as my life goes on :)

I’m a teacher work at six different school, so I don’t feel like a real member of any of them. That’s what makes Monday morning so difficult. I always want to do a good job, but even if I am completely prepared for class, if I walk in detached, the lesson goes awful.
Everyone tells me, oh you seem tired. I seem like someone who doesn’t adequately prepare, and sleep, and take their job seriously. But its not that at all. Its just the social anxiety. I feel alienated, detached, like everybody secretly hates me, especially the children. Well, the children react to me based on my mood. Its a horrible trap. Even though I know its all in my head, I just can’t shake the mood.
I have some mild anti-anxiety pills, but I really don’t want to be a pill-pusher. I know that they won’t solve the problem. I try relaxing, breathing, talking to myself. It’s a mess. Its rainy and miserable and I hate days like this. I try my best, and venting helps, sometimes I worry it will go on like this forever. Then I worry I worry too much. I just can’t escape myself.

Celexa is going well.

Therapy is not so well anymore. I’m not so sure my therapist has any experience with treating SA. I’ll have to be completely open with her when I see her a week and a half from now. In the mean time I have to follow through with my own CBT and my own plans for exposure.

I am seeing a therapist and a psychiatrist. I am currently on sertraline, bupropion sr, and lamotrigine. I was on bupropion xl for a month, and loved it, but suffered from insomnia. I was depressed as well as anxious. I had bulimia, but overcame it. I still eat to cope with stress and anxiety.

I do not have any friends. I wish I did, but I am afraid of talking to people. The medication seems to help, but I need to find an optimum combination.

What are good things to do to cope with anxiety?

My anxiety has been maybe only 30% of what it usually is, and it’s only Day 1. I wonder if things will keep getting better throughout the week or if this is just a good beginning for a bad ending. I am still hopeful about this entire process, but I just can’t believe I don’t feel so horrible! I walked to class and actually looked people in the face as I passed them on the stair well. When I got to class I could actually look at the people in the room instead of just going to my seat with my head a horrible cloud of anxiety. I met eyes with another girl I’ve worked in groups with a couple times, who is in my other class, and we said hello to each other. A guy the two of us have worked with greeted me, too. In class I could actually pay attention to the discussion. When someone made a point I wanted to elaborate on I could feel my heart pounding but I didn’t feel fear. I was able to actually self-talk nicely to myself and calm my heart rate instead of tail-spinning into anxiety. I can also better notice when I’m holding my breath or breathing shallowly. And I contributed to the discussions twice, because I had to, but I was able to speak intelligently and make real points. : )

I have a little more anxiety now than earlier – maybe because the dose is wearing off or because I had some diet Coke (caffeine = bad), or maybe even because of my focus on the anxiety I still have. The Celexa was only a 10 mg dose. I get to take 20 mg per day after this week.

This whole thing is a real trip! It’s surreal and wonderful so far.

Therapy is wonderful. Everything I’ve learned about myself, my upbringing, and other people is finally clicking. I haven’t even tried my Celexa prescription yet and I already feel like a completely different woman.

I’ve realized I raised myself, as my brother and sister raised themselves as well. I can take care of myself – I’ve done so for the past 14 years.

I see a psychiatrist this Monday for an evaluation so I can receive meds while I work on this. And after four visits with my therapist I think we’re finally going to start doing things with a little more structure.

Also I spoke frankly with my siblings tonight and it’s good to know I’m not the only one who can admit our parents did things horribly and it had a negative effect on all of us. I do however know that my parents did the best they could and I can’t blame them.

But I think I need to get a job and put energy into moving out…. working on therapy while I’m living with my parents is really painful and may be hurting my progress. I’d just have to be able to afford health insurance so I can continue therapy for as long as I need to.

It is so hard trying to beat it but i’ll keep trying