stop focusing on what I hate about my job and focus on how good it feels to stay on top of it

but in all fairness, I have tried. It just gets clearer and clearer that no amount of positive thinking is going to make me happy in this job.

I was in really early this morning, because I woke up early and decided I might as well come in and get a head-start on the week instead of sitting around at home. It’s worked out really well, too – I felt full of energy, got completely caught up on something with which I’d fallen behind, and finished a small project with a 5pm deadline before ten am – drawing surprised praise from my boss, who’s used to me doing everything at the last minute!

Only thing is, now that it’s lunchtime I’m tired and feel like I’ve already put in a full day’s work, and it’ll be hard not to let myself slack this afternoon and slip right back to square one.

Just get stuck in. Get a cup of coffee, pull out the stuff you were too tired to look at last night, and just do it. You know how horrible and messy and stressful yesterday afternoon was, and how nearly you got into trouble for being behind? That won’t happen again today if you just get a bit done this morning.

Go on. Just get those cheques sent out. Then you can have some more coffee. And a biscuit. :o)

They’re doing a huge enforcement of our “clean-desk policy” at the moment. My manager is taking it very personally and harangues us about it at every opportunity. I’m going to be spending the rest of my life (well, the rest of today at least) archiving. Every scrap of paper has to be off the desk when you leave it, even if you’re just going to the loo or the coffee dock. The folders which have lived on top of my desk drawers forever – under the desk so they’re not even visible – which has never been a problem before, have to be found a new home. And the (by no means excessive amount of) photos and postcards have to come down off the wall. Apparently we’re no longer allowed have a soul or a speck of individuality.

And this morning I sat through an hour-long “training” for our end-of-year performance review process. Achievements and goals and development needs and career objectives. Pah. This is not a bloody career, it’s a job I do to pay the rent. What do I care about “company values and growth leadership traits”?? I hate this corporate bull so much. All I want is to get on with my day-to-day work and get paid at the end of the month. This company does not own me or one scrap of my loyalty, and I deeply resent being treated as if it does.

with this today. Got caught up on a couple of big jobs, and tidied up some smaller loose ends. I started out feeling totally swamped, and managed to make sense of most stuff, so even what’s not done is organised enough to be tackled.

Note to self: Remember this feeling, and remember it doesn’t take that much effort to leave work feeling under control instead of dreading the morning!

are not going to be fun. This guy, R., is on holidays, and I have to cover for him in addition to my own workload – all on my lonesome, cos I’m the only person trained to do it. And it takes forever, because I’m not always a hundred percent confident that I know what I’m doing, so it all has to be very careful.

Grrrrrr.

I’ve had so many days off lately that the work days, by contrast, seem unbearably long and pointless. Today is particularly bad – I’m still worn out from yesterday, the weather is utterly miserable, and someone was so horrible to me on the phone earlier she made me cry. (In front of my boss, ack.)

Ok, complaining over. :-p

I have an hour left, not too much to do, and the boss is gone so the earlier I get done the earlier I can leave. Onward!

to be in the office on a Saturday… there was this company awards thing yesterday afternoon, and there was wine, and after a few drinks it seemed a far better idea to go to my friend’s house and keep drinking than to stay in the office and keep working… :-p

So here I am finishing up stuff that should have been done yesterday. It was worth it, though – I had a lovely evening with my friends, and an even better night when I got home and spent all night online having more drinks and a wonderful time in the virtual company of someone special :o)

It’s quite a nice feeling, in an odd way, to be catching up after consigning my responsibilities to perdition yesterday. I’m not minding the work so much because I chose to do it today, instead of doing it under protest yesterday and missing all the fun.

since I got back from holidays – having got everything sorted before I left I don’t want to let it fall apart again! Today was a bit messy, people wrecking my head with queries every five minutes, but I’ve just taken a couple minutes before I leave to write myself a to-do list for tomorrow, so I feel very organised :o)

and I am OUT of here! :o)