horribly insecure about this goal. I literally only just graduated and the pressure for me to land the dream job is intense. Whether thats me putting it on myself from seeing other peoples success or from external sources, the questions and enquiries into what Im doing, I dont know, maybe a bit of both. Either way its all too much. The more I think about where Im trying to get the further from it I seem to be. Maybe its part of my INFJ nature- we dont really dwell on our accomplishments. Which is pretty crappy because it means that to me, nothing I do means anything, I just kind of, move onto the next. Done. Next.
I feel hugely incompetent in the field I want to get into, regardless of the fact I got a first… I also feel as though Im being realistic. I look around at what people are doing and theres so much I still dont know and I know I have to teach myself but Im scared that itll hold be back because who knows how long thatll take. I had an interview recently which went seemingly well, and although to them I put on this confident air, I keep feeling really intimidated by the roles. Sometimes I feel like such a fraud. Like Im not really good at what I do and Im probably convincing you now that Im not good at what I do at all… and thats half of the problem because if anyone should believe in me, its me. 4 months ago
So Im freelancing at the moment, and its not really in a field I want to get into but I have the software skills and the pay is good so it beats sitting at home.
But now it seems there is a permanent position coming up and Im faced with a dilemma… apply for it knowing its something I cant see myself wanting to do long term just for the sake of having money and a job, or pass it up so someone else can go for it. I know theres no guarantee Ill even get it but seeing how hard it has been to dedicate time to job hunting for the short space of time Ive been there so far, I know how important it is to work on getting a job that will further my career in the direction I want for the future. 6 months ago
... and its pretty much perfect! :’) 14 months ago
Im thinking, when I return to uni to undertake another work placement. It will for part of my qualification and so its really important that I chose something beneficial.
After the not quite so positive experience I had with my previous one, its led me to think hard about what area I want to pursue and what will help me most in my future, I dont want to waste months doing something Im not interested in.
Its really daunting as Im not sure if my skill levels are high enough to be able to impress at a work experience of my desired field… but then isnt that the whole point of the placement? To gain experience? 18 months ago
I had a think yesterday about my future and where I want to go once Ive completed my degree.
Then I had an idea. A good but equally intimidating idea, that scares and excites me all at the same time.
Thats all Ill say for now. 20 months ago
I have been working in my current tole as an outbound sales advisor for 8 months now. At first, I hated it, being an overqualified MSc wearing headphones with a mike. And the company sucked. My manager sucked.
Every day I had to ask myself, if I could put up with things like going to the cornershop in your breaktime to buy a pen, since there is no stationary from the company. Many odd things, like no holidays possible between June And the end of August.
But then I became better at selling and my commission grew and grew. I was on top of the list last month and I was proud of myself. That is a professional pride I hadn’t felt for at least six years.
Ideal job, I don’t know, but if you become good at something you don’t like to do, and you start liking it, you’ve found your ideal self.
Let’s face it, when I came to the UK, I was lazy and self complacent, spoiled. I learned my lessons. I thank life, the universe for those opportunities to find my power back. There is no ideal job, there is only you and your ideal self that is sometimes hidden.
To be honest, if I had listened to my lazy self, I would have quit this job six months ago, but it was my pride that kept me going. 20 months ago
So, Ive been debating how long to do this internship for. For the most part its been an experience however sometimes I feel my responsibilities outweigh my postition especially as Im there working for free. Now I dont mean to complain because I know its probably a good sign but I feel that what Im working towards isnt as beneficial for me as it is for them.
COming up with a new direction for them to take and working on presentations which will ultimately win or lose them jobs. The whole reason I took it on was because it usd the software I would love to go onto use professionally but I feel like Im scratching the surface and not gaining any further knowledge.
I guess Im writing this post as a way to assess where i stand and what I want to do in terms of terminating my internship. When I think of how little time there is till my uni deadlines and the extra pressure the internship is putting on me I feel it would be better if I gave it up. I just want to make the right decision, as much as theyve told me how surprised they were at my level, standards and work that does not guarantee me a position in the future, is staying there longer worth my while?
But when I ask myself, is this my ideal job… the answer is no. 23 months ago
I found an internship… or rather, my tutor informed me of one and it found me. Ive been there just over a month now.
Its a small design studio with one person doing the 2D illustrations and the other converting it into 3D, and for the most part its been a good experience. Its been hard juggling that on top of all my uni work, but Ive done it and Im quite proud.
Its been a learning curve too, seeing how much you can be taken advantage of when youre there to learn and are not being paid it. But its the road Ive chosen and hopefully in the not too distant future the work will pay off. 23 months ago