Drink moderately

I love socializing and drinking and it is just a part of the university life, but I don’t like losing control or having bad hangovers. While I have learned my drinking limit better from high school, I still have the odd rough night, which I’d rather not do. Cheers to getting drunk, but not shitfaced:)

the last year i’ve seen real improvement here and i’m happy about it. perverse-wise (i’m always looking for the perverse core in all things) i think i was most helped by acceptance of my happy friendship with red wine. i really like the stuff, and i decided not to do without. i have it at home all the time, and use a pretty little carafe to serve it, and it’s been working out very nicely.
thanks to the moderate drinking program idea. the aa stuff never seemed to fit or work

you know how they say you should drink a mucho ‘mount of water after over-drinking, and you avoid any hangover

and you know how it’s true

but all that water just made me unhappy last thing in an evening when i was in no mood anyway, so i suffered the consequences… harsh or mild… the next day

well…

i’m an insomniac. wake up several times during the night for a piss just routine like. and i discovered you can drink those glasses of water right along. don’t need to be all at once like makes you sick kind of. just one at a time while i’m in the toilet anyways

so i lost a bit of incentive

i expect i’ll take this up again… i was doing pretty well with it… once my GSD (copyright rob 2005) intensive is over

but for now, as they say in hollywood… whatever

was sampling a new drink, and didn’t know it well enough to get when to cut it out

not a big deal

but answer me this…

how come you wake up a bit muggy from overdrinking, and

oh, the shame, the self-recriminations, the scrutiny of motives, etc.

but wake up sore and aching from too much exercise… or having really hurt yourself with a pulled muscle or something

self-satisfaction! smug pride even! no head-lowered sense of not taking care of yourself properly

doesn’t really make much sense, does it?

despite some situational encouragement to do poorly

could be the main thing i need to do is, ahem, raise my bottom, as they say in aa

in other words, if my drinking is cyclical, building up until i feel it’s really too much, then dropping off, i should try to hit that ‘too much’ feeling earlier

that way, less up and down, less going too far

so i’ve said how anger is a ripe condition for over-drinking

and i’ve said how i’m so angry at my father

well i’m about to see him, and i’m already planning ways to blot the whole thing out

like:

• putting a bottle of wine in the fridge so it’ll be cold and ready to drink when i come back

• toying with the idea of ordering a martini before dinner, and a glass (maybe two?) of wine with dinner

• imagining renting a loooong movie and drinking all the way through it

• worrying over how nasty he can be (sort of get in the mood)

writing it out seems to help not acting it out, so this was good

off i go

will check in later (maybe)

include:

suppressed anger… that can get me drinking too much

and really bad cramps… not totally sure if this isn’t a legitimate use… “medicinal purposes” as they used to say… or is that a sicko junky perverted view?

in the presence of free wine

i want to suck it up while i have the chance and then i start to experience… poor judgement, let’s say… and then i drink more

hardly drinking at all this week, and even better, went out with a friend last night and had one beer

one beer and a nice long walk

which might be even better for conversation than drinking!

not doing super great on this

consumption inches up, then i give it a break completely, then i overdrink

like most things in my life, not very steady