contemplate

..even more! hm.

Done and moved

I’m pretty much remembering to do this twice every day for ten minutes. When I forget, life gets difficult.

I am keeping this goal here because it is so important.

Ok, here’s one. We often don’t like things in other people which we know (but don’t acknowledge) in ourselves.

So next time you say “I don’t like him because he does X”, try adding “just like I do” at the end. It’s certainly teaching me a lot about myself.

I’ve been so frusterated by some things going on in my life that I was losing sight of the things that are going well. I do not want to become that person. I refuse to become that person! I need to claim the blessings in my life and there are many! I need to let go of the things I have no control over. Do what I can do with the things I have some control over and give thanks for being alive and in love with a wonderful man who shares his life with me and builds a future for our children. Thank you God!

I’ve started seeing a counsellor to help direct my contemplation. After one session I’m very happy – she doesn’t suggest anything to me, or give me any answers, just allows me to talk, and picks up things in a “you mentioned X…?” sort of way.

Contemplating twice a day is good. It means that I never have to worry about any of the big questions during the day. They’ve either already been solved in the morning session, or can be deferred into the evening session.

5 minutes at each end of the day (after clearing head time) is plenty.

...are almost always a bad idea. Unless one is in a state where emotion and instinct can be trusted 100%.

I’m most certainly not in that position right now – but there’s no point torturing myself over decisions, a little contemplation would be very useful.

It’s very interesting reading QueenoftheHighway’s passage:

Another thing that struck me was that we are often afraid to be silent and alone. Often the thing that frightens us the most is our own soul. But the only way to encounter and deal with both the angels and demons we find in our souls is to be “alone with ourselves” and with God.

It’s very true. I absolutely love being alone and silent to contemplate stuff but that is when it gets difficult. I’m not sure about the actual God thing, but this is certainly one part of Benedictine philosophy which I think is absolutely spot on.

We spent the entire day in prayer (corporate in the morning prayers of the oblates of St. Benedict and liturgy, and the angelus; and silent, solitary prayer), meditations, and silence. It was exactly what I needed, and what I need more of. One thing that struck me was a passage read by a visiting priest from the Antiochian cathedral downtown, about St. Benedict: we need to forget about trying to have “experiences” during prayer and just do the work of prayer, knowing that over time, it will have its effects. I think I was taught when I was growing up that “real” prayer would produce immediate feelings of excitement, power, etc, so when it didn’t, I was tempted to give up. Instead, today we were urged to choose silence and to just get down to the business of prayer and contemplation. God promised to answer our prayers, but not necessarily with fireworks.

Another thing that struck me was that we are often afraid to be silent and alone. Often the thing that frightens us the most is our own soul. But the only way to encounter and deal with both the angels and demons we find in our souls is to be “alone with ourselves” and with God.

Interestingly, Advent should include mourning, both for the world and for what we find in our souls when we contemplate and medidate in silence. The carol “O Holy Night” has a line about the world lying in sin and darknes. It is appropriate to think on this during Advent, in order to realize what the incarnation of our Lord actually did for the world. It’s amazing what the world has turned Christmas into- people are willing to sleep on sidewalks in the freezing cold for hours for a Playstation 3, but won’t stop to contemplate how much we actually needed the saviour sent to us…

...million things… I love the idea of 43 things, but sometimes I think it might promote an unhealthy level of “doing stuff”. Experiences, I think, should be sought not just as a thing to cross off your list, but as experiences to learn from and change by. I’ve found myself the last few weeks doing way too many “things” and consuming way too many “experiences”. I don’t necessarily want to experience less, but convert some of my non-thinking down-time into contemplation time. I also really need to do more contemplative prayer.