Become a better father

So … I grew up with a father that was quiet, kept to himself, worked a lot when he was young, and drank a lot. He was demeaning to my mother. We rarely had father & son time, and when we did; it was quiet or spent drinking. I love him very much regardless,and I know he loves me but I did not learn how to be a father from him, more of a breadwinner.

I have recently become spiritually reborn and study and listen to scripture often. Our heavenly father is a very good example of fatherhood, kind, generous, loving, forgiving. I try to be these things but I often feel that I am not doing them properly.

I love my kids. The only problem I have is not spending enough time with them. I will try to spend more time at home then at work but I want them to live comfortably and have the nice things in life. I never grew up with a father so I’m kinda repeating the cycle in a different way. I’m around but I’m not around? What does it mean?

so basically im 17, ill be eighteen in october…ive had a son for one year on october 23, 2006…three days after i turn eightreen…ever since i’ve had my son, its been hard for me and my girlfriend to make ends meet…we both stayed in high school…we graduate may 25, 2006(class of 06’)...we’ve been lucky enough to be able to stay at her mothers house (as long as i pay the water bill and buy some grocerys…i’ve had a job for a year and a half now…at california overnight…ill admit it’s been extremely hard and ive taken chances and risks that put my child in danger of not having a father…as any young man traped in the ghetto, i’ve done my fair amount of “slangin” im not proud of it..but it gave my family the things they deserve…i’m no deatbeat..ive always been there for my child..my child and girl have always had a safe place to sleep, eat as much as they want everyday…and always were able to do things everyweekend…i love my family…i love my life..i regret nothing…its made me who i am today and today im happy…

The worst thing about me is that I dont think my kids, especially my two oldest,( from my first marriage)have any idea how much they mean to me. I spend entirely too much time working and trying to pay the bills. But honestly, I really don’t have much of a choice at this point.