figure out a way to go back to school.

Today, I met with my own personal guardian angel. His name is Tom and he is my Voc. Rehab. counselor. He has been helping me find a way to get in school, be in school, stay in school and now get BACK to school. I met with him and he shared himself with me today, spiritually. He’s good at that. He showed such amazing faith in my education and future. I don’t think he’ll ever know how much I appreciate him in my life. Here’s where I was this morning, before seeing Tom:
-I wasn’t sure if my Pell Grant would cover tuition and fees, -didn’t know how to pay for daycare or find daycare in the evenings because I can’t go full time,
-didn’t know where I was going to work and how I would handle a full time job with 2 kids and 2 classes a week.
-Didn’t know how I would make ends meet at all.

After meeting with Tom today, Here’s where I sit:
-My tuition and fees are paid in full
-My books and supplies are paid in full
-My daycare-all day long-paid in full
-I’m going to school full time and working part time because of his help in the next area. which means I’ll be done with school 2x faster.
-He has a program that will help me pay my rent since I’ve relocated more than 45 miles from home to attend school.

-GOD WORKS IN MYSTERIOUS WAYS….HIS NAME IS TOM.

See entry 12….updated….starting back in January…:-)

I sat down with my aunt and uncle last night. I found that I can test out or “CLEP” out of 2 of my classes. This will save time and money. However, I still have 13 classes to go. But the 2 CLEP tests will keep me busy for now.

Between wishlist, gorillaman, caraboo, my aunt and my uncle, I can’t tell if I’m feeling encouraged or pressured. I know I need to finish my degrees. I know I need to go back to school. I just have to figure out how, when and where. And who is going to watch my boys while I’m in class. It’s not exactly like I have a supportive ex-husband or parents to help out. My aunt and uncle are so busy and my “crew” lives out of town. I have to go through the whole process of not only figuring out how my credits will transfer, or where they will transfer to best, but also interviewing an adequate babysitter for the boys. I’m not leaving them with someone I don’t know. Especially in my home and especially in Kansas City.

Even as I type, I’m feeling like I’m making excuses. But it’s the truth. I barely made it this past semester and it was a pud class. How the hell am I going to take law classes with my life the way it is? I’ve thought about moving back to the university I started my degrees at, but I’m hesitant to uproot my life and start over again. I have a job that I love going to everyday and work with people that I miss on the weekends. I’m very fortunate to have that and I don’t want to walk away from it. Not even for school. Also, these kids have been through so much in the past year and a half. I promised them and myself that I would take root in Overland Park and stay there. So I need to figure out a school close to where I live so I can get this figured out.

Another thing in the back of my mind is that if deciding to stick around for my job is something that will bite me in the ass down the road. What happens if I stick around, mostly because of my job, and then I get fired? However unlikely that is, I would feel like an ass if it happend. I am very secure in my job in that I’m fairly sure that’s not going to happen, but I don’t want to base my life decisions primarily on one factor. URG.

Damn, this sucks. I’m such a girl.