• Went to bed at around 9.45PM last night and woke up around 8 this morning! Definitely getting there. I’ll try to wake up at the same time tomorrow.

• Having eyeshades really helps in the summer when the sun doesn’t set until late… 10 months ago

I am 29 years old and, until August of last year, worked third shift since I was 18. Five of those years were in a sleep lab where I worked to help others find a restful existence.

Sleep well, live well… if you will.

I am now a PhD student with very little structure forcing me to be awake and to go to sleep at certain times. So, I am going to try to change this.

I have to admit that I haven’t done this yet myself, but in the sleep lab, we were told to tell people to try to wake up at the same time every morning instead of trying to go to bed at the same time every night because, even if it is hard, you can force yourself to wake up but you can not always force yourself to fall asleep. If you regularly wake up at the same time each morning, your body will give you cues that you need to go to sleep at a time that is reasonable to your wake up time.

So, that is what I am going to try. 8am every morning for 100 mornings. We will see how it goes. 10 months ago

I’m pretty jet lagged. On the first day back home I fell asleep at 4 in the afternoon only to wake up at half 1 in the morning. I forced myself to stay awake until 7PM which worked but I literally passed out on my bed.

Today I woke up at about 4, which still isn’t great but I’m getting there. My goal is to fall asleep at 9PM today but I’m not sure if I’ll be able to as I’m very tired already and it’s only half 5 in the afternoon. I’ll have to find something to do so that I won’t accidentally fall asleep on my bed with the laptop on my lap. 10 months ago

i just want to get back to going to sleep and just sleeping…. all night long without waking up. and the time change won’t help. 14 months ago

so i’m home now, I have fresh sheets, i gave the cat fresh food and water so he shouldn’t bug me, i turned the heat off, i’m feeling relaxed and tired…

hopefully i will be able to sleep soundly without waking up until the morning.

:) 15 months ago

I have had trouble sleeping the last 2 nights. This is unusual for me and is highly troubling due to my bipolar. Episodes can be triggered by just a few nights without sleep, but luckily it’s not that bad, just waking up a little early and not being able to fall back asleep. But I don’t like that “tense” feeling I get when I can’t fall back asleep.

Today I plan to wash my sheets (easier to sleep with clean sheets! And I ate some turkey for lunch, that should help me sleep… and onions too. And maybe read something relaxing before bed?? I have been reading the shopaholic books but maybe they are disturbing me… I’ll try stopping at the library and pick up something different. see if it helps. my psychiatrist also recommended some medication increase, i’m going to try that too.

sleep is a serious issue for a bipolar person. so yea, meds, wash the sheets, take a bath before bed, new book… what else??? i should have gone for a walk outside today but i think i’ll go to yoga instead… but maybe after yoga i can do a little gardening before sunset at least.

it is easier to sleep when you are outside.

maybe i can bike to yoga??

i feel like there are too many things to do…

stressed about trying to sleep.. trying to relax makes me more stressed haha. 15 months ago

I had trouble sleeping last night, I woke up around 4AM and had trouble falling back asleep.

there is kind of a big salsa event happening fri night that i really want to go to, which involves staying up later than usual. having trouble sleeping on monday does not bode well, especially because now i am feeling yucky on tuesday and just moping around the house.

I am cooking chicken soup now which is good, i’ll feel better after i eat some of that probably. it’s hard not getting enough sleep, everything seems more overwhelming.

i took a bath which was nice.

i need to clean my house and now would be a good time to do it…

it’s already 4:20… i feel like i missed out on the day. that always happens when i don’t sleep well. maybe i needed a “day off” though. 15 months ago

I would really like to go to a dance party fri night at 9PM. a guy I know will be there…

but my goal with my sleep is to be home by 9PM (or even by 8PM) every night and in bed by 9.

I would also like to have the computer out of the room every night but I haven’t been doing that. I would like to though.

it is really hard to deny myself things like going to a dance party. i guess i need to think of other rewards for myself.

like what?

1) go to tai chi class
2) get a massage

3) buy some plants for my yard

those are all good. I would like to buy a new rose for my rose garden. and maybe some cymbidiums. 15 months ago

sometimes it feels like i am really depriving myself of a lot not being able to go to things later at night but i think it’s worth it feeling better and being more productive during the day. 15 months ago

A friend of mine who I don’t see very often wanted to go out with me last night. I had to compromise with her and we ended up going out at 7:30 instead of 8 when she wanted and then we left at 8:45 so I was home by 9.

I ended up just falling asleep in my clothes… I was so tired.

I probably shouldn’t go out late that much… Not that being home by 9PM is late, but anyways, I don’t want to make it a regular thing. I really want my “being home” time to be 8:30. 15 months ago

my friend called me on the phone last night at 9:45 which is later than I usually go to sleep so she woke me up. I sent her an email this morning though explaining to her not to call me so late. 15 months ago

I got a really good night’s sleep last night. I read a kind of creepy book before falling asleep though, called “sister mine” that was a little depressing. I always want to find fun, light books at the library but sometimes it is pretty hard. Even though sister mine is kind of dark i guess i am still enjoying reading it though. I slept really well and slept until 7:30. Probably about 10 hours. I feel like all the stress I’ve been having, worrying about dating and worrying about my hearing are over. Now I don’t have another hearing for a couple of months, and I can get a lawyer who will help me, and I don’t have anybody I’m dating right now (yay!)

If I am going to date somebody I already decided that it is going to be somebody I know from my regular life and it’s going to be something that happens naturally and organically so it won’t be stressful for me :) 15 months ago

argh! my car was in the shop yesterday so I had to get a ride to salsa class with a friend so i had to go to the 8PM class and THEN he wanted to run errands AFTERWARDS so i didn’t get to sleep until 11PM! super late for me and i am wiped out and a wreck today. i need to be in bed by 9PM to function the next day. i’m in bed right now even though it’s around noon. i had to go with my friend to pick up my car this morning so at least i have my car now. I am just going to rest in bed for half an hour and then go to yoga. i want to go for a walk this afternoon too. maybe just alternate with taking naps… mmm… naps. 16 months ago

i was so excited when i thought that orion and i were going to get together. i was thinking he would be spending time at my house and that maybe he would be spending the night at my house. i cleaned up my house (which was nice i guess it is nice having a clean house) but then it was super disappointing that he never even showed up.

and then it was really weird going on facebook and seeing that a friend of a friend of mine added my exboyfriend as her friend and is writing him on there. she always used to badmouth him when i was dating him and said i should break up with him. now i’m wondering if she was just being mean and hoping i would break up with him so she could date him.

anyways i am just having all these weird thoughts and it’s hard to fall asleep. i shouldn’t worry so much but it’s hard to think straight i guess i kept thinking about this new guy orion and i was super happy and excited about it but then he basically bailed on me… so i kinda feel like i built up this whole fantasy in my head and then it all came crashing down. it’s even harder because of my bipolar so i am super reliant upon all the routines i have built in my life so when i am thinking a certain way… like that i have someone in my life, and they just cut and run… it is very shocking and hard to change that suddenly. i guess i don’t know for sure that he is done with me but it definitely feels that way. my friends are all saying ‘oh you don’t know for sure” but i am having a sinking feeling in my stomach like he is gone for good.

which is weird. i really didn’t see it coming. and when i think about it i am having feelings like i really need to eat a milkshake or a burger or the severe comfort foods my dad used to eat with me as a child. i wish i could call my dad and talk to him about it but my dad can’t handle that kind of conversation. my parents aren’t great at relationships… my dads relationships usually last about 2 years max and my mom is in a major unrequited love situation that apparently seems to be my best relationship thing. i don’t know how my sister managed to be able to do the relationship thing and i can’t. why did she get to inherit big boobs sexy curvy figure and super blonde hair?? it’s not really fair.

i got the bipolar genes and big stomach. right now i am mad at everything. i guess big stomachs have been shown by science to come from too much stress so maybe i could try and reduce stress in my life which i try to do by doing yoga every day and more exercise… and i’m trying to do more restorative yoga which is supposed to reduce stress too…

i was going to start doing that before falling asleep. maybe tonight i’ll do a legs up the wall and a twist. those are my favorites. i just wish orion had called me i guess that would make my self esteem feel better… that’s what i hate about this “relationship” thing i start to base my self esteem on what someone else thinks of me. why? when i am single my self esteem is usually pretty good. there is a rodney yee quote that it is impossible to love yourself if you don’t love your body and that yoga helps you to love your body. i guess maybe a few more years of yoga and i will start to love my body. hopefully and then maybe i will love myself… seems unlikely there’s a lot of war scars left… battle wounds… left overs from gaining weight a lot of weight from my lovely medication for my BP. but i guess that’s life you take what you get.

eh. 16 months ago

and woke up at 5. it’s still dark out actually. i probably fell asleep around 9 but my cat woke me up once by scratching at the window. then i got up and he ran away… i was going to let him outside… i guess it could have been a racoon too… but it was probably my cat he is weird like that.

i remember a few days ago i had a weird dream that i was climbing up a ledge and then the grip i was holding onto slipped right when i was waking up and i was hanging on this wall with only one hand and my feet… no, actually my feet were loose just only one hand. i would need to be a lot more toned to actually do that in real life but maybe soon… that would be nice.

so i want to keep getting home around 8, begin my “cool down” period then with some restorative yoga… and then hit the hay around 9… ideally with no electronic soothing methods ie laptop computer in bed with me. i sleep much more resfully with a book to lull me to sleep.

tonight i have a “date” or “hangout” or get together thing planned with a guy i know. i think we are just hanging out as friends. i kind of want it to turn into more… but on the other hand i like my life the way it is and i’m concerned a relationship would complicate it un-necessarily and perhaps decrease my level of happiness.

hmm. complicated. i think what i really want to do is just be friends for a while… a long while. so if anything does happen we are building it on a solid foundation. 16 months ago

so tonight i am planning on going to lea’s party. so lea’s party starts at 5:30… I will get there at 5:30 and stay until 8. Then I will go home and rest at 8. I’m going to clean today so my house will be clean when i get home. and i want to be able to rest and relax tonight. 16 months ago

i need to work on getting in bed at 9 again. keeping the house clean. it just feels like there is so much to do… it’s getting overwhelming. 16 months ago

that is pretty much my ideal sleep schedule. 9 hours ish, and getting up early going to sleep early. i feel rested and i want to make that my regular schedule. i think i will be mentally more clear and get more done, and definitely my mind will be better. More functional. When I have an erratic sleep schedule, sometimes staying up late for parties or whatever, I notice that I tend to have erratic thoughts, being paranoid or having psychoses so it is much better to just have a regular sleep schedule then I just feel completely normal and can relate to people in a completely normal way. The frustrating thing is when other people don’t understand. Lots of people I know like to socialize in the evenings and late at night. Which makes sense because they work during the day… It’s kind of sad actually. I could try and change my hours to 10 to 7 or something but I really feel better getting to sleep earlier. As you start staying up later… then people start drinking, and I don’t like to drink either as that also makes my bipolar worse. So the 9 to 6 routine is best for me, it also avoids the drinking scene. And I can socialize with people during the day hopefully or on the weekends. And at dance class and during yoga class… I see people even if we don’t get much of a chance to talk.

I think there is a guy who goes to yoga who doesn’t work… Maybe he would like to go for a walk with me sometime… 16 months ago

I want to get back to my schedule of getting home around 8 and getting in bed by 9 with a book. no laptops before bed after 9. That plan was keeping me really healthy and mentally sharp. I was relaxed and clear. So I am going to get back to that. I have a guy I like who wants to get together every Wednesday after class but I think that is just going to be too late for me. I will text him and say “hey can we get together during the weekend instead?” 16 months ago