Untitled
19 months ago
oui…
:)
People who have done this
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How to talk to my father
It made me
Nervous/ relieved
 "It was scary, but also after a few minutes just like old times."
How I did it: After a falling out, I didn't speak to my father for 3 years. I was very embarrassed by our argument because it happened in front of my then boyfriend, now husband, and I was trying to introduce my father to him. During those three years, I moved to California and got engaged. I would always ask my sister how my dad was and he would do the same, but I would have a twinge of anger whenever I heard he was asking about me. I wondered why he wouldn't just pick up the phone and call me himself. I wondered why we had the argument in the first place. I wondered if we would ever see each other again. I thought I would walk my self down the aisle at my wedding. During this time I also wrestled with my childhood. I blamed him for several things. I got as mad as I possibly could. Then it occurred to me... he is human just like you. Just because your parents are older than you doesn't mean they are perfect. Even if they hurt you, it doesn't mean it was on purpose or that you can blame them for all of your problems. I think that not speaking to him for all that time made me evaluate my life and how I perceive all of my relationships. Right around the time that I had decided I wanted to somehow make contact, my sister called me. She was with my half sister (my father's daughter), who was only 4 at the time. I was talking to her about her day, when suddenly she said, "OK I'm gonna go, here's dada." She handed my father the phone, and the rest is history. In her innocence, she bridged the gap and brought us back together... Lessons & tips: Once you make peace with any unsettled feelings that are keeping you apart, you'll find a way to make amends, or a way will find you... =) Journal, talk about your feelings with someone you trust, reflect on things that may be affected by your emotions and feelings.Then just do it! |
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More "How I Did It" stories
It made me
Content 
How I did it: The day of my high school graduation was the first time I had seen and had a real conversation with my father in seven years. I didn't speak to him for about four years, and it took him having a heart attack before I finally started talking to him on the phone, but those conversations were mostly one-sided, filled with awkward silences and meaningless, empty questions. But I realized that by ignoring him I was denying a par… Read how I did it…
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madde2333 is feeling crushed
dadd
2 years ago
so i was reading an article today about how girls are more likely to date men who resemble their father and all so it reminded me of my own dad. and i figured since he has cancer and all it might not be a horrible idea to visit him cuz he’s gunna crack out soon. it’s kind of a touchy issue but yeah i guess i could make room to do that this summer :\
1nt28chieve is hoping for better things.
Or rather, I tried to do this . . .
2 years ago
My dad is too self-absorbed and terribly insecure to care about anyone else. I feel sorry for him because he doesn’t know how to truly love anyone.
Every time I try to talk to him (respectfully, mind you), he winds up yelling at me. I don’t deserve to be treated disrespectfully. Since “Talking . .” involves people taking turns speaking and listening, this really won’t ever be realistic for me. But it’s okay. Since he decided to walk away from me and my family, there’s been a whole lot less drama. Now, I can get on with my real life, doing real things instead of getting caught up in his “stuff”.
Hope your experience is better than mine was. Best wishes! :)
maybe
2 years ago
I havent spoken to my father in just about 8 years. I have not attempted to reach him since I graduated from high school. Mostly because I feel like it would be opening a can or worms that I’m not really prepared to deal with.
I don’t really know why he left me behind. I have my own ideas of why—but I’d be curious to hear his side of the story.
I’d like to show him that I’m a decent person and that I became who I am without him. Not to spite him, but just to show him that I’ve turned out alright. At the same time, I’ve worked very hard to be the person I am today and part of me thinks that even a trivial conversation with him might make me question who I am. Although I am happy with who I am and the path I’m on, I’m not sure that I’ll ever be good enough for him. I think hearing something to that effect from him would be very painful. I’m not strong enough to endure that just yet.
I would like to forgive him for all the pain he’s caused in my life, and I’d like to apologize for the pain i’ve caused him.
I will, when the time’s right.
Untitled
3 years ago
well i havent talked to my dad for about a year now he’s been in and out of jail when i would talk to him he’d say he loved me and that he was gonna stop drinking and hitting my mom and i believed him but he was just lying and well last year he called one day said he wanted to speak to me and so i forgave him and we started talking over the phone next thing you know my birthday passes and he said he’d call but he never did and i haven’t heard from him since i have his number but i don’t really want to let him in my heart again so he can just break it agin like he always does but if i could talk to him again i would want to know why he left me why he never called especially on my birthday it really hurt me and it still does id tell him how i realy feel about him that he’s nothing but a fucking drubkass liar if i could say something to him that’s what it would be id say where where you when i needed you where were you when my moms boyfriend touched me where were you i really needed you and you weren’t even there
My dad is in the hospital..
3 years ago
They are going to perform pancreous surgery on him in about 45 mins. I know its not a REALLY big deal, but I got the news last night after I got off work and it was just kinda surprising. I’m still not sure if I could talk to him even though he will be sober and laid back for the next few days or so..
My dad...
3 years ago
I’ve never really spent much time with my dad. When I was born he was 20 my mother was 17. They did not get along but they stayed together until I turned 3 years old. My mom and I were put through a lot, although being that young it is hard to remember her and my dad fighting and his alcoholic rages. My mom and dad split, and soon after my mom moved to AZ with her new boyfriend leaving me with my grandparents, who are the parents of my dad. At first I was not aloud to see him there was a restraining order and all that good stuff. Then when my baby sister was born my gramma let me go stay with him and his new wife.
That lasted a few years….As of right now, my dad and I rarely ever talk. The only time we do is whenever he ends up in prison and calls because hes lonely. He has 5 kids with 3 different women. His youngest was just born on Dec. 20, 2005 with his new wife Christine who is only a year older then I am.[I’m 18 shes 19]
If my dad could ever just sit down with me, sober and actually have a fatherly state of mind I would love to talk to him. Unfortunately this is easier said then done.
