breastfeed

Is the only thing thats got me through this week.
I had a horrendous time in hospital especially with the midwife/lactation consultants conflicting advice ‘hold him this way’ ‘thats wrong, you should be holding him this way’ blah blah THEN telling me my son had a tongue tie that meant he would probably never suckle properly and it should be cut…thankfully my mum managed to do more research and discover that this was a bit of a fad for some time and the lactation consultant clearly hadn’t caught up…Then just the difficulty of getting started, it is natural, yes, but its a bloody skill i’ve got to learn and so does the little guy…then on day 2 he suckled start stop start stop for a few hrs, yeah i know he should have a constant feed for a shorter amount of time BUT i was just so happy he could and would suckle…short lived hapiness day 3 (just as the blues set in) the midwife came to visit and gave me a greal spiel on how this would never work blah blah and winged about other stuff too and generally left me COMPLETELY void of any desire to continue. Soooo i managed to express about 10ml of milk and then i added about 5 ml of boiled water (tut tut yeah i know) to get his fluids up so he would be less lethargic and would suckle more. This worked, well, this and a feed that involved me blowing in his ear if he drifted to sleep or failing that Granny flicking his feet…sounds harsh BUT it meant he got some nourishment.
We also invested in a small pack of formula, i think knowing this was in the cupboard as a dire last straw and my baby would not starve, allowed me to relax a bit and this meant feeding was easier BECAUSE my little guy seems to have developed himself a bit of a routine of sleep for about 3 hrs, wake, cry, eat, stare adoringly at mum for a little while then sleep and repeat.
My nipples hurt (as i expected them to) but once he is latched on the discomfort subsides and i remember this is the best for baby.
He seems to have a preference for the right breast which isn’t great cos the other will get all yuck, so i’m expressing from that one and letting him have his favourite, once feeding is established i’ll convince him to share…The high point of today was that Lefty, in upset for being left out leaked…sure not every1s idea of a fun time BUT it said to me that my milk is in and there is plenty of it.

...that I’m a breastfeeding mama. I breastfed in public for the first time this weekend, during our first out of town trip since Little Miss arrived. OK, it was in my car, but that was “public” enough for me!

So far, so good. Baby is eating well, and growing strong. My breasts are still somewhat tender, but it is improving. Her mouth is just so little!

I’ve also started pumping, so hubby can feed her from a bottle now and then, which gives me more sleep!

So i was having coffee with my parents the other day and i think there was a woman breast feeding in the cafe, i say think cos it wasn’t obvious, she had the baby in a sling and a piece of muslin over her shoulder and the baby and she was just casually sipping her coffee (i also didn’t look too hard cos well u don’t…) It was exactly what i have in mind for when i ‘have’ to breastfeed in public. Thus proving it can be done and that those women i’ve seen floppin their boobs out is not the only way…:) I mean sure, if u don’t care, neither do i, flop away but i couldn’t do it. nup nup nup
So now i need to create a selection of attire that allows for easy breas feeding without full frontal boob flashing…layers? cut holes in under shirts then pull up/down top shirt??? I’m sure i’ll figure it out:)

It’s been awhile since my last major breastfeeding update. Since then, we’ve fallen into something of a predictable pattern:

• Middle of night / early morning: breastfeed
• Morning: pump just before work and while at work, and DH bottle-feeds at home
• Noon/afternoon: breastfeed a few times
• Evening: try to breastfeed, get rejected by Little Miss Fussypants, cry (both of us), and then pump while DH bottle-feeds (but, she breastfed ok this evening!)
• Late evening / night: pump in the middle of Little Miss’s eight-hour stretch of sleep to keep up my supply

I prefer breastfeeding over pumping, mostly because I hate having to wash the pump attachments over and over. Breastfeeding isn’t as “magical” as I thought it was supposed to be, but it would probably be better if I weren’t always worrying about my supply. I’ve noticed that Little Miss has gotten more efficient at drawing out the milk, so feedings are getting much shorter.

My preferred position is now side-lying – it’s nice to get a little rest and Little Miss seems to squirm less. Other than that, I sometimes use the cradle hold, but usually I have to start her out while sitting upright on my lap, then lower her to the cradle hold. It’s quite a contortionist act to do this.

Anyway, things have calmed down a bit but I’m disappointed that I’m still not producing enough milk. I guess the hardest thing will be to keep this up until Little Miss starts solid food in a couple months. After that, she won’t be drinking quite as much and I can probably cut out the formula altogether.

Yesterday i set about cleaning out my closet, i found 3 t-shirts we got free when we took part in the ‘Wunta breakfast trail dog walk’ i have all 3 because no-one in my family will EVER wear them, sooo yesterday i put them on and i drew a line from about 3 inches from my neck to just above my belly button, then cut along the line. Taaa daaaa!! instant breast-feeding night shirts. I read sumwhere you should cut a shirt from the neck line down but i don’t like the idea of getting caught up in the loose bits, this way, there rn’t any realy.

Well, I’m learning to multi-task while breastfeeding (e.g. right now) which should make breastfeeding somewhat less of a time sink. I want to keep doing it because it’s best for Little Miss, but I’m not a huge fan of how long it takes. Plus, she can be very fussy about it sometimes.

I still am not producing quite enough milk so it takes even longer with the additional pumping and formula mixing and bottle feeding. I’m planning to try taking Fenugreek again soon to see if that can get me over the hurdle of producing enough.

I’m pretty freaked out by breastfeedin in public…not by other people doing it, good on them, but by the thought of doing it myself. I’m sure once i’ve mastered the art i won’t give a damn i think it will go somthing like this…screaming hungry baby….feed it and its shuts up. simple equation really.

BUT i learned yesterday that the hospital rooms are no longer private, they used to have a ward with mixed but if u were planning to breastfeed they tried to ensure u had a room to yourself. So now i have horrible visions of what should be simpleish…baby by bed, lift baby and feed, to be ‘get up, close curtains, sit back down and feed baby’ try to not be distracted or put off by the comings and goings of the person in the next beds family/friends, which won’t be easy cos i will have that (probably unjustifyable) fear that some random person is gonna stick they’re head in the curtains feeling. On top of that, if i end up in a room with a mother who has no intention to breasfeed, and i’ll no doubt have to put up with her 10 reasons why i think breasfeeding is disgusting speech, even though i would never preach to anyone about either. This whole communal bathroom, sharing a room thing has got me so down about the birth, i can’t even begin to explain it. But its too late isn’t it?

Last night at my prenatal class they showed an Australian breast feeding assc video on the trials of breast feeding. (btw i can not stand the breastfeeding association because i feel they are a little nazi like and treat women who genuinely can’t breast feed or who have babies who can’t, like they are second rate humans and hopeless mothers) Anyway anyway anyway i am determined to breast feed, my mum is a GP and breast fed her kids and i have a wonderful support network, i know it will b hellish at 1st but get better and this stupid STUPID STUPID video had me about ready to give up and go with the formula. It filled me wiht an awful dread and fear of failure so high i honestly wondered if i could manage it…and i’m a devout followed and believer in you can do it and breast is best not to mention the 500 cals a day it burns… STUPID VIDEO.

I have to admit, I was afraid to start breastfeeding again three weeks ago. Afraid not just of the potential for physical pain, but also the possibility of failure. (I don’t like failure!) But I’m glad I gave it a try. Now, almost two-thirds of what Little Miss eats is breastmilk, and probably about half of that comes directly from breastfeeding.

There’s still room for improvement, but we’re getting there. Little Miss sometimes still cries just before she latches on, but she stops crying pretty readily if I stick my finger in her mouth to remind her of the objective. Sometimes she still doesn’t open her mouth quite wide enough, so my nipples still get a little sore, but it’s not too bad.

It’s been really tough juggling three different types of feeding (breastfeeding, breastmilk from a bottle, formula from a bottle) plus pumping. I’m really looking forward to producing enough breastmilk that I don’t have to deal with formula and pumping so frequently. That will simplify things a lot!