steal a garden gnome and hold him for ransom

Kept him for a year and while we didnt abuse him there were sooooooo many things I wish we wouldve done with him! Now onto other evil things!!!!!!!! MUhahahahahaha 5 years ago

And on Christmas, Bumble the Abominable Snowman from the Land of the Misfit Toys was returned to his rightful owners with a female Abominable Snow woman and many many babies (which were cottonballs with googly eyes glued on them!) We also included a complete photo album of his misadventures including the X-rated version with a group of sex starved Bratz barbie dolls and some trampy stripper outfits and poses! it was priceless! My husbands cousion and her husband got a huge laugh over it and they were arguing about who was going to take it to work with them when they went back!
Now we will be patted down each and every time we leave someones home because they book and our theft is now the stuff legends are made of! Yeahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

I am including the best photo of all that was in the book. Priceless. 5 years ago

(which is sucking arse, I might add) I want to steal a butt ugly garden gnome or one of those decorative geese that people dress up for holidays/seasons and hold it for ransom. I mean take it from no one I know, take their address, and smuggle it back to Florida with me, photograph it all pver the place, send little cut out ransom notes and pictures—maybe even bits of crumbled concrete. Then return it next time I am out this way…..hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm. 5 years ago