Embrace my Femininity

don’t mix so well. So I’m waiting out on that.

But, always have my purse and I’ve voluntarily worn skirts a few times. GASP!

Actually going out to buy new tights this week. WOAH.

There’s this constant going back and forth in my mind about
A)being a brass player and being feminine
B)being tall and wearing feminine shoes(read: heels)

The time has come for me to wear dainty, feminine shoes. And that just might mean heels. Gasp!!

on my “feminine” interior design. And I`ve become a skirts girl. So I hope I´m going in the right direction here!!

I was just thinking… part of me being feminine is being taken care of… of being held… perhaps part of the reason I’m taken aback with P holds my hand, is that it’s feminine and gentle. Something that is new to me….

I wear big earring now. Woah. This, for whatever reason, was a big step for me. I wear rings and necklaces and have french manicured nails for gawd’s sake… but big earrings was a big deal.

I went out for a friend’s bday in a black lacy BOOB flaunting shirt too! It felt awesome.

These are little steps but so huge in my mind. In my career, women have to be so strong, so powerful and masculine. It created a barrier to my femininity, my sense of self and for allowing any vulnerablity. So these small steps are huge and I celebrate them!

I am going to celebrate the glory of my true feminine being by finding space in my life to:

• Meditate.

• Spend time out in nature.

• Craft more.

• Write more.

• Dance.

Ordered a Mooncup ... the general idea is to go green, but to me this is all about embracing my feminity…

but all six members of my family are masculine signs… 4 of us are fire, and two are air. And my two closest friends are fire and air as well.

(Not that it matters…) but I wonder if this plays into it at all. I know I am somewhat envious of the natural nurturing of female, feminine-sign friends. But it is quite new to even feel I can be friends with such people! They are the ones I have always felt I had nothing in common with… who just led me to feelings of inadequacy.

But now I cherish their views, opinions, and advice.

I bought my first scarf today… to go with the spring coat I bought a few weeks ago that I am really looking forward to wearing (if spring ever arrives!).

Of course I’m not sure how to wear it… but I’ll figure it out, or ask someone. I was talking with my sister today, and we touched on how much our mom (or, actually, both parents) has never been able to share with us… some stuff because she just doesn’t know, and other stuff because she is terrified of ‘intruding’ (or of a rejecting response???).

Because I always thought smart girls couldn’t also be beautiful. Because I need to embrace the fact that I will never be a size 6 and embrace the body of a woman.