Get over it

This week has been good. I feel indifferent and looking forward to the rest of my life.

I don’t feel the shame I used to feel about my life. I see it as my story, and that at each time I did the best I could. Without the shame I feel free to get to know people. I have nothing to hide.

I’m light, I’m open, I’m curious.

They always want what they can’t have and once they got it, they don’t know what to do with it, so they break it.

Part of getting over it is getting unstuck. Last week my small goal was to write one page. I started a story and wrote five pages. This may not sound like much, but to someone who has a block, it’s a big sign of progress. This week my goal is to look at a job website for 20 minutes to learn more about what attracts and repels me.

So, I finally decided to talk to him. I had to tell him how I felt. He still feels the same way. I don’t know where to go from here. I’m afraid that if I make him wait again, I’ll miss out on it entirely, but I don’t know that I’m ready yet. Fuck cubed…

I’m tuning up

gonna wash that man right outta my hair!
how? any tips please?
x

Today I feel indifferent about talking to HIM recently. Getting over it…for me.

In my previous message I felt better. Then HE contacted me. Telling me about the latest with his life. Initially I felt indifferent…”awww, that is good everything is going so well.” Over the last 24 hours my feeling changed to “wonder what he said when he said that. Was he lying about his life going so well.” I don’t know how I will feel in two days..in a week. Grrrr…just when I thought I was getting over it.

The last two days I have been feeling better. It is amazing how remote interest from another changes my view. Although I want to do this because I got over it for me not for someone else.