become a more patient person

is a lovely man, but he drives me up the wall.

First of all, I don’t much care for being fussed over. If I want to do the dishes, or vacuum in spite of being tired, I wish he would stop trying to take everything out of my hands….I like to be productive, I like to get things done and while I know he has good intentions at heart, he can be unbelieveably annoying.

When something or someone rubs him the wrong way, he goes on, and on and on about it…T and T were a half hour late meeting us Sunday morning – we were supposed to follow them to the cottage…then they took an out of the way route to get there. He couldn’t stop complaining about it for an hour and a half – that coupled with the intermittent rain, I thought I was going to go absolutely insane….

Sometimes I like quiet – no talking, no noise, just silence. He talks, he grabs at me, hangs over my shoulder…interrupts me while I try to read – it’s like he’s 4.

Now, having said all this and I’ve really only just touched on the tip of the iceberg I must say that he’s still a thousand times better than Husband #1…many women would be glad to have a husband who fusses over them, and while I do appreciate him, I also like my independance.

The thing with him as well, is that I cannot seem to have a serious conversation with him – it’s like he’s in denial of how certain issues are serious and therefore meant to be discussed that way. He asks ‘why?’ like a 4-year old ALL the time, relies on me to make ALL the decisions and abruptly changes the subject if I try to have a serious conversation with him about something like our finances – he tries to deflect these issues as though he doesn’t want to admit when there are problems. He is not realistic.

He is who he is, and I wonder at times if we really are a good ‘balance’, or if our personalities are just too different. At times he makes me want to slam my head repeatedly against a brick wall…I want to have meaningful discussions with him, not just nonsense or frivolous crap.

Maybe it isn’t him at all – maybe I’m (okay, not maybe…it’s a FACT) difficult to live with. The older I get, the more I don’t like myself very much.

• I had no sooner finished merchandising the front cubes of the store, trying to put together a lovely display of suitable gifts for ‘Dad’ this weekend, than it got quite busy, so I had to assist S at the counter.

An hour later, it was nearing closing time so I began my routine rounds of the store, tidying and such. Much to my shock and dismay, some idiotic ASSCLOWN stole a life-sized Canada goose made of some materials like sticks and twigs…I had only JUST moved it up front from another location further back in the store. WHAT in the world could anybody possibly need with my goose??? I was furious, and it actually ruined the remainder of my evening. I came home stewing, ranting about how people are rotten for taking things that don’t belong to them..I’m still pissed off this morning and now I have to tell J what happened. Fools :(

• I have little patience for this type of nonsense, whether or not we have insurance for theft etc…don’t take what doesn’t belong to you. :(

with the addition of meditating I am learning to become a more patient person. The first person I wish to be patient with is myself.