Oh crap, now I actually have to finish this. The school is putting together a book of student’s work and they’re calling for submissions. I wonder if this is too snarky to include with my portfolio?
Somebody once said that they took up photography because they wanted to paint, but faster. I never wanted to paint – I can’t even doodle – so I don’t know what they were talking about. At all.
But shooting is pretty fast, I’ll give them that. Developing and printing can be a bit more tedious, but the juicy part is the moment just before the shutter is released. At that point, in the case of people like me, there is no philosophy or intentional design, there is no statement in manufacture. There is only an instinctive link between a photographer and a subject. I walk around and look at people and things and when something might look cool as a photograph, I take a picture of it, hoping that it will.
If my work conveys sarcasm and abstraction, which is what I’ve heard, it’s possible that this is an art form and I am an artist who is sarcastic and abstract and hereby self-expressed. But maybe these are just photographs after all, which hopefully look cool, for your sake. (I already got what I wanted out of it.) 7 years ago
this was going to be a real entry but then I decided, you know what? sometimes I JUST DON’T WANT TO TYPE.
I’m in AP Drawing and I have no idea what I’m doing here and I absolUTELY must NO QUESTION ABOUT IT 100% percent no choice chop chop GETONIT: submit my portfolio to the AP board. even if alligators dissolve their swampy crocotears-but-not-quite on all my sketch paper and safari lions roar away my charcoal and my cubby becomes infested with a veritable cosmos of exotic and exoskeletoned insect-beings, I will have to turn in a portfolio, and this portfolio must include a quality section, a concentration, and the indomitable “breadth.” And an artist statement for the concentration, of course, rewritten upon AP exam sanctioned paper on the day of reckoning.
I have no idea what I’m doing here.
Really, all I’d like to do is paint my rainbow fantasies to myself and create a love letter of charcoal smudge and cover the walls of my imagination with thick-but-scrapable acrylic paint. But instead I have guidelines and restrictions and a cacophony of assignments that I’d rather do in my own shunted-sideways fashion.
This is the only class I have ever gotten a C in and yet, somehow, this is the one thing I know I can do…
as for the porn, my dreams of artistry and cum can wait.
There is nothing for it but to go on. I’ll start from the statement and build my world out from there. 8 years ago
My wife really dislikes writing artist statements and spewing artspeak. I seem to have a gift for artspeak even though I’m not an artist. So I’ve written artist statements for my wife and helped her and others modify their artist statements.
My wife also likes to have me at her gallery openings because when I talk with patrons I do a great job talking up her pieces with artspeak. I do this out of a true admiration and appreciation of her pieces, so I’m not being phony when I do it. It’s just that the way I do it falls into the artspeak vocabulary, so it’s what’s expected by certain patrons. 8 years ago