scream my heart out

well….. all because its not very normal to scream without a reason…. but i find no reason to scream… waiting to go to some place…. may it be crowded…. or secluded….. i wish to scream my heart out…... in happiness … or just with noi feeling…. just to scream

I want to scream as loud as I can… actually, I remember many years ago I had the same thought, but I couldn’t. I’ve only done it twice before, and the sound produced was so TERRIBLE, like a frickin’ banshee I couldn’t even recognize the sound of my own voice it sounded like a dying demon in pain or something like that… I thought the neighbors would call the cops, but damn it, I just had to.

But otherwise, I can’t because:

1. My parents would come rushing into my room. “Nanobomb, what the hell was that?! Are you out of your fucking mind? We need to get you to a shrink! Don’t do that again!” Well this hasn’t actually happened yet, but I predict that would be the reaction. There’s ALWAYS at least 1 parent in my house.

2. The neighbors might call the cops. It’s amazing how the littlest noises echo everywhere in this neighborhood. EVERYONE hears EVERYTHING. Imagine how embarrassing it would be, “POLICE, open this door immediately!” creak
“Oh hi… heh heh, no, no one’s getting killed, sorry you came for nothing, I was just venting my frustration out and you happened to get caught in it… LOL”. Yeah…. that would work out perfectly.

3. Screaming at the top of your lungs due to emotions, just isn’t normal. Even (AND ESPECIALLY) if you’re by myself, not even arguing or ordering anyone. I don’t want to acknowledge the fact that I have a serious mental problem. The horrible shrieking only makes it worse, it feels like everything’s falling apart and the walls will come crashing down on me or something. It might be better to keep it all inside.

4. What’s the point? Nothing’s gonna change. My grades won’t improve, the colleges I NEED still may not take me, I can’t gain back the trust of those I betrayed, I can’t make myself skinnier, I can’t stop fighting with my family (my mom would like me better if I was skinnier, I know because I lost a lot in a few days by exercising my ass off, and she looked so damn happy. Asking me to see my waist and telling me to keep it up. I’m in the normal range, according to the online BMI calculators.), I can’t make new friends, I can’t make people respect me, I can’t become stronger, I can’t become BETTER.

Argh.

What is life for if not to live?? And what life lived half way is worthwhile? No matter what challenges we face in life, we should always try to live every moment to its fullest.

Some of us will die young. Some of us will live many years past all of our friends and family. Most of us will be lucky enough to know love during our lifetime.

Be young while you can, follow your dreams, reach into your soul and share your experiences with the world. Soak in the energy around you while it still speaks to you.

Rooftops – Lost Prophets

Standing on the rooftops
Wait until the bombs drop
This is all we got now
Scream until your heart stops
Never gonna regret
Watching every sunset
We’ll Listen to your heartbeat
All the love that we found

Scream your heart out

ever heard of that song, called “rooftops” by lostprophets?

I watched the video for the second time the other day, and it finally got through my head. I noticed, that I have A LOT of problems with my life, and can’t seem to find a way, to get all this stress out of my system.

And the teens on the video, that were under a lot of pressure with their parents/boss/etc., got through my head too.

If you cant find a way, to get your stress out of your system. And you try to write it all down, but no words come to your mind, if you try to sing it out, and it just doesnt work…
SCREAM YOUR HEART OUT!

but I recommend this. Watch the video for the song, and listen to the lyrics carefuly, and you’ll see the true meaning for it!