make more love

a happy Wednesday night. However. Men are totally weird! I’ll spare you all the details, but lets just say communication is a good thing.

I hope it’s clear that this is different than the “create love” goal. I really mean. Make love more. I think it’s healthy and I think it’s fun.

and things are fine ;-)

So apparently my ex stumbled on this.

Oy.

I realized that I’m falling for my friend and so I wrote out what I’m going to tell him to let him know before he leaves town. and i’m soooo nervous because i really adore him and it’s ridiculous. and he’s going away for awhile and i have to tell him. so here’s what i’m going to say. let me preface this with the fact that i’m happy with my little spiel, so don’t critique it please… it’s nerve wracking enough as is!
Also, you should know that I’ve known him for years.

Speech…

I write things down before I say them to keep my thoughts straight. I have a lot to say so bear with me and I guess I’ll just start from the top. If i can find the top that is… ok. Here goes (for the record, I was even nervous writing this because I tend to feel committed to what I write and I’m a spaz.) I think you are marvelous. The moment I saw you on Wednesday my hear jumped. not because I had some plan but because you were just there! My dear friend whose chicago visits I still look forward to even after all of our distance. and so you were there and you looked so handsome and I was ecstatic to see you. I really just expected to see you for an hour or two and then you’d be gone again but as time went on that became the last thing I wanted. When you decided to stay with me I was thrilled (by then I’d realized I was totally attracted to you but doubted that it was mutual)anyway, you kno wwhat happened next except what you don’t know is the part in my head because I didn’t want to freak you out and send you heading for the hills. However i’ve realized that if I’m not upfront now, in person, i’ll just spend the next five months dwelling. And feel free to disagree with what i’m about to say and understand that i don’t expect anything at all. But… I think I’m falling for you. And please don’t react yet!! Think first and if what i said is a problem just forget it entirely. If it’s not a problem then know that I’m not trying to start a relationship with you gone, and i’m— clearly feeling nervous and stupid. So… at the very least I insist on keeping you as a good friend and we’ll put this behind us. Ok. I’m done. Feel free to react.

ohhhhhhhhh i love this goal.
i love yesterday.
and today.

Make life worth living

As much as I like the lingo of this goal, it does scream highly sexual. If I could I would redo it to say Love more, tis silly to make love, love is abundant, does not need to be made to be enjoyed. Most love making leads people to heartache, or poor decisions. I would love to make more love, in every sense, but at what cost. I have never crossed my dignity for a lover, though were I less the man I would….and this goal would not be here…so focus on love more, and hopefully the lingo of this goal is not far behind.

Its pouring (seriously record rain in New England), but my sex life is dryer than the sands of the Sahara desert. A lesson for the ladies, men not getting sex makes men do stupid things to get sex, and in my cases, I don’t do the stupid things. Whomever I mingle with next in a relationship is going to get it good, whips and chains all up in this House! Just kidding I am not a bondage kind of guy, or am I?

I love you all.