say "no" to people who ask too much of me

I recently ended a friendship with a person who asks too much of me. This goal is about saying no and I always thought of it as saying no to requests but I was in a friendship that was only creating problems for me in other areas of my life. This friend didn’t want to change and couldn’t come around to seeing the things that were important to me so I decided to just say no to the whole thing. But by being in an unproductive and unhealthy relationship this person was asking too much of me.

I’m glad I saw this goal on my list today and was able to apply it to my situation, it makes me feel more comfortable with my decision.

Yesterday I stopped to think and suddenly realized that out of all the things I’m doing in my life at the moment, not one of them is something I actually want to do.
I’m living life one “have to” after the other, fulfilling one obligation before the next. My time and my energy are sucked away doing little things that are adding nothing to me, only placing me further away from the track of my long-term goals. I’m putting off becoming who I am and being faithful to who I want to be.

It made me so sad and so angry with myself I wanted to cry.

And it’s all because I can’t say no. I can’t say no when I don’t have a good enough reason. Because I don’t see “I just don’t want to” as a good enough reason.
It’s like the moment someone puts me in that situation, I’m trapped- I’m forced to say yes. And I hate them for it. I hate them for leaving me no choice.

So I do it and promise myself it will be the last time.

But instead of putting an end to the cycle by learning to deal with these situations, I decide to run away from them. Run away forever. If I don’t deal with people, no one will vamperize me. No one will hurt me. No one will make me feel weak and horrible and trapped and stripped of choice.

Oh, but I do have a choice. I always do.

Why is it always easier to hurt ourselves than hurt someone else?

and it feels good sometimes. Now that I really have learned to value my free/personal time, it’s easier to limit my commitments.

She handed me the twenty-something new pages and watched me flip through them.

“We don’t have much time.”

This is just too much, this is just too much. I fought back the words, fearing tears would follow, and kept my eyes at the notes.

Read my face. Understand my body language. Conclude my unspoken rejection: this is too much. Why can’t you hear what I’m not saying? This is too much. I’m no superwoman. I can’t do this. Others get paid to do this.

But she smiled. “Overwhelmed already?” You’ll manage, she thought. You always do.
And I wanted to scream, rip the pile to shreds, throw it in her face, bang at the keys, throw my bag with all force out of the window, and cry.

But all I did was smile back.

Have I ever said that? Have I ever said that to the people that I care about or feel obligated to? NO. Why? I’m too nice. I can’t say no. I have to do everything everyone asks of me. When was the last time I did something because I wanted to? I never get thanks from these people? Would I get thanks from myself? I believe I would. By body would thank me. My mind would thank me. All those selfish people can get their own shit.

just now someone i just began to hang out with – asked me if she could stay at my house monday and tuesday night!

she’s already been over 3x! in a row! until 10:30pm! – once invited , 1 she invited herself, and tonight she popped over!

anyway… i told her sorry, but i cant help ya- already have plans!!

yea- to be left alone! gees- overstayed welcomes!

People will walk all over you if you don’t say no.

Don’t get too O.T.T either way, don’t say yes all the time, but don’t say no all the time.

Once you’ve said no once, you’ll long to say it again!

And stop always saying “yes” initially and then trying to find ways to undo it.

ive done it and am going to keep doing it

I quit my job. How’s that for saying “no”?
OK maybe a bit extreme, but I will start fresh and this time I will communicate better.