Control my thoughts.

I’m still learning and always will be learning to control my thoughts. Expert say you have about 60,000 thoughts a day …trying to control that many would be exhausting.
What I have found that will help is, your thoughts are energy so pay attention to “The Way You Feel” ....if you feel good then your thoughts are on a positive vibration with the Universe or God or a Higher source of energy, whatever you want to call it …I call it, God.
If you feel bad then that is when you can manage your thoughts and “Change the frequency you are on ..or in other words, change what you are thinking about to something that makes you feel good…when you feel good then you will attract like thoughts and more like thoughts…I’m sure you have heard of this cool site, I recommend it …www.TheSecret.tv …it’s all about “Your Thoughts”

hello

So I can get 20s fairly consistently now. I’m hoping for 30 by next Friday.

I’ve rethought my training method, and it’s way more fun. I’m also noticing more improvement.

My goal is just to be able to control them for about 20 minutes.

Right now though, I’ll be happy with just one minute. Actually, I’ll be happy with 30 seconds. I suck.

I’ve really made alot of progess with this goal. I have learned to recogonize my negative thoughts and learned to seek out more positive ones.

...but I think this goal overlaps with my “meditate daily” goal. So I’m getting rid of it.

Instead of just controlling my thoughts so that I don’t always assume the worst, I’d like to be more in control of my thoughts in general.

Or maybe, rather than controlling my thoughts, I need to keep them from controlling me?

Probably a mixture of both.

It’s getting worse not better. The pain is still not unbearable yet, but I’m getting concerned.

So, I found my COBRA documents and sent them in, along with a payment for a month’s coverage. I guess the next step is to make an appointment with yet-another dentist and probably get a root canal (GREAT). Fortunately, my roommate knows of a good dentist nearby. Hopefully she is accepting new patients.

Fuckfuckfuckityfuck. Sorry for the swearing, but I really have no idea where the money is going to come from. THANKFULLY I paid a lot less than I expected for books this semester. Perhaps, just perhaps, I will be able to 1. cover it all with my credit card 2. pay cash or 3. work out some sort of payment system with the dentist so I pay part of it now and part of it when my PLUS loan comes in (which, by the way, I just found out I’m approved for!! So I’m going to focus on that goodness and pray that it comes SOON).

I thought my dental trials were over, but they are not.

I have been getting some sensitivity in one of the molars that was filled a few weeks ago. Worst possible time for this to happen, given that I just moved cross country, can’t go back to the same dentist, and my coverage is soon ending. Went to get it checked out, and the dentist scared me to death, saying that b/c it’s a composite filling close to the pulp, it is probably the filling itself causing inflammation, and if it gets worse, I might need a root canal(!!!!!!!!).

Okay – great. Not only is the phrase “root canal” one of the more scarey ones in the English language – but my financial situation is NOT conducive to getting an expensive procedure done anytime soon. Plus I am in a brand-new place and don’t have a dentist that I trust (I’m not going back to that first guy, for MANY MANY reasons). This is definitely a great opening for the catastrophic thinking demon to exploit.

SO. My plan of action is to find some way to imagine my tooth as healthy, or getting healthier, and also, to think about positive ways to respond to this turn of events. The positives: I’m not really in any pain per se. The sensitivity is not even that uncomfortable. It comes and goes, but so far does not seem to be getting WORSE. My next step is to check into available dental plans and find a GOOD DENTIST around here – even if this doesn’t get worse for awhile, it might later, and I’d rather pay a smaller amount of money now and save myself big bushels of bucks later.

I’m wondering, too, if there aren’t some natural antibiotic/anti-inflammatory measures I can take. Maybe some echinacea to prevent infection? There might be some other options, too. And hey – even if I end up needing a root canal, if I’m going to someone that’s good, I should just be thankful that I have access to first-world dental care and the access to a procedure that will probably save the tooth. A lot of people don’t have that.