find my faith again

just want to be consistent in my faith. not just rely on God when i need Him during crisis. want to have a deeper relationship again.

Hello All,

I wanted to respond to this post, as it hits the stem of my being. My dad died of a rare lung disease in 2002. I had my first son born in 2004 and was soon diagnosed with autism. I had my second and third children born in 2006 born, and one has been diagnosed as deaf from birth.

This is all so rediculously hard to handle. I was a firm and founded Catholic Christian…faithful, practicing and peaceful. My marriage is fantastic, my children are my life and my work is ok. I am very blessed in so many ways, but find it very hard to be excited about Sundays. I can’t believe that I’ve been chosen to bear these hardships. I’m not perfect by any means, and often find myself in certain sins, nothing crazy. I love God so much, but can’t help feeling alone in this.

God bless you all. Send me a note if you see my point of view.

This is a hard one. To feel when you haven’t felt for such a long time. How do you open a closed flower?

Voices in my head tell me God has finished with me. Nights when I’m exhausted and sitting up with the baby, round and round my head it goes… “he gives rest to those he loves”. I’m being tormented.

I hope one day to be able to call him “Father” and to feel and have all that comes with that.

I’m so lost. I need help. I need a new religion.

I don’t know what to believe anymore. Imagine the guilt of turning your back on a person you believed was the source and salvation of your own life? It’s like the pain of losing a loved one you’ve come to know so well, and then also finding that he wasn’t who you thought he was (and admired him for). I lost Jesus.

A year ago today, my dad passed away. It was so unexpected and too soon. He was 6 months from seeing his first grandson (my son) and also from a much-needed retirement. According to the bible, he’s “nowhere” right now – just rotting in the ground until Jesus returns & judges the living & the dead? He’s not in heaven yet? I find this hard to accept and I’ve been seeking answers more actively ever since.

I was once a reborn Christian with that awesome, overwhelming feeling that only people who have rediscovered their faith feel. Years since then, I’ve heard scientific findings, historical facts, and read books that constantly try to disprove the significance of Jesus whom I once believed so much in. It’s been devastating to feel mislead and left to feel it’s all just an exaggerated truth. “Jesus existed and he was just a very holy man/prophet” is where I’m at now. Being a former reborn Christian, imagine the guilt I’ve been taught to feel when I turn on Jesus. I’m going to hell according to that belief, right?

What do you do when you’ve lost faith in the Bible? Was Jesus married? Did he have a child? Was it the Romans who voted on what should go in the bible, and what should be left out? Where are the other readings, & what to they say? Can I accept the 1st Testament? Can I accept that people who don’t believe and/or know of Jesus are going to hell (or not going to heaven)? No!

I believe in a God. I believe in prayer. I do believe the lessons taught in the 2nd testament are good & ideal. Bottom line – I need to find a religion or belief system that I can agree with that can provide guidance, answers and inspiration in my life to define the things I don’t understand, like where my Dad is and what will happen to me & other loved ones?

I’m starting all over again and don’t know where to begin. Where can I find my faith?

I used to love God so much..and I was so happy…I want that happiness again. But it’s so hard to get back on the horse once you’ve fallen off, because faith isn’t like anything else, it’s a feeling, it’s just believing and feeling, and you can’t FORCE it, you have to find it in your heart..I hope I find it again, I”ve been trying for a very long time. And I hope all of you, no matter what religion, soften your hearts too, so you can be happy.

It’s really hard when you are burdened with so much in such a short span of time, though I am still hopeful. God will prevail and I will get out of this rut. I just need to keep my strength.

Faith is a very tricky thing, because most people have all the Faith in the world…till their life is turned upside down, then all of a sudden…the Faith failed, the Anger begins, and all of a sudden…you’re spiraling down hill.

This happen to me at the end of 2006, when my Sister at the age of 47, was found Dead in her bed at home. Then 2 months later, my Aunt was Murdered by her Husband, and last but not least…My 7 years old Neice died from a rare form of Cancer…and my Brother was dianoised with Grave’s Disease….

To me, this is too much for me to bare, because I believe in a God that Heals, in a God that has Mercy and in a God that never forsakes us….Now, it is 2007…and I am trying to put my life back together, and find the Faith I once walked in…

Maybe it’ll be the way it was, and maybe it will be somewhat different…I do not know….All I know is…My Life is hard, and I am filled with much Fear, much Anger and much confusion of what God’s Power is and when it is used…But I am reaching back towards GOd, for without Him, I feel empty and sad…so, if I can offer any satisfaction to the pain of Faithlessness…I will offer this….

Give God the Pain when you can, Cry when you need too, and find your way back…when you feel the time is right for you….

stirrings….

I had a long conversation with a friend about finding and losing one’s faith. The more I said I give up with this baloney and I don’t want to forgive those who don’t deserve it, the more I realized I’m only hurting myself. This made me feel even more frustrated. I’m sick of CLICHES and SELF-RIGHTEOUS attitudes and of always having to say I’M SORRY. For a while I’d like to be like Scrooge and say B A H H U M B U G to you all.

But in the end I’ll only be hurting myself. Coz, you see, I love to be loved!

29 May 2006 – 2 weeks ago

a stirring of my spirit. Like being moments away from solving a puzzle. Like having a name on the tip of your tongue. Like thinking the phone’s gonna ring and then it does a moment later…

Bring it on, I’m ready!

I’ve been reading Neale Donald’s ‘Conversations with God’. Blasphemy? A clever man out to make money? A modern day messenger/prophet of sorts? It doesn’t matter. It’s made me think about what I believe. It made me feel. It made me have my own conversation with God – and that’s what counts.