have a serious relationship

Well tomorrow will be 6months since we got together and to think about everything that happened it makes me smile knowing that were still together. Yesterday was amazing basically ehsan came down to school to see me and when he came it was a bit awkward because he didnt hold me or act like him self and he would go off with his friends a couple of times, and then it hit me i was scared, i hated the way he was acting and i was scared that this is how its going to be now and things wont be the same and that what scares me the most because he really makes me happy and i love him and i dont want us to break up. Then i started to cry and i was so so so angry with my self because i hate crying and hate this feeling so i went into the bathroom and just stood there for a while i came back and he was still somewhere with his friends so i just sat there reading a magazine and when he came up to me he asked me what was wrong and i said nothing i didnt want to talk to him so i said nothing was wrong so then after 15minutes with him sitting with me he took me out and ask me what was wrong and it was hard telling him, i told him that it was just exam stress and he knew i was lying to him so later we went to the park and he ask me what was up for real so i told him i got scared im scared to lose you and how i didn’t like how weird it was between us and he was like there nothing to worry about blah blah blah and then he asked me what else is wrong i know you too well shifa, is there anything that bothers you about me and after a while i said everything i told him i hated it when u make flirty comments to other people even though u mean it as a joke i hate it and im so jealous at anyone that looks at you or even likes you and im so possessive and i just want you to myself and im just so paranoid you dont understand, then the minute i said that he told me everything he told me he’s worse that he gets more jealous and more possessive and we were telling each other all the little things that bothered us and it was all sorted it made me smile knowing that we were honest with each other and it made me so happy so unbelievably happy because i wasn’t hiding anything from him and its always these small things which build up into something big and i told him to promise me to tell me if anything bothers but im so happy and so in love

And i think this is what you call a relationship, there’s always going to be highs and lows and tears and fights but throughout it all it doesn’t affect the way i feel about him i still love him and he still gives me butterfly’s and hes still always on my mind and even though its only been 6months i think we’ll make it because hes my boyfriend my best friend and he knows me better than i know myself and i cant believe how lucky i am to meet someone like him and i think ive achieved this goal i dont see the need anymore writing about being in a serious relationship because i think I’ve got one :)

well my birthday past and i had a really good time with ehsan we went to the city and watched a film then went out to more places and then went to hyde park and it was really nice just laying down with him, when we went to the cinemas he gave me a necklace and earing set it was really nice :)
But last night argh! we had an argument!!!!!! basically we were on msn and we were talking but then later i had to go to bed so i was talking to him and he was still on msn so i told him that i was going to go to sleep then 30min later i get a text him asking what was wrong..honestly nothing was wrong :| but i just said i didnt want to bother him.. then he had a go at me saying we been together for 6months and it made him upset and made him feel i a awkward position and he can still talk to me and i told him he was right and that i was sorry and yeah i was upset that he said that because it wasnt my intention to make him upset because i sometimes think i can be a bit overbearing and i get people saying i can be a bit annoying so the last thing i ever want to hear is ehsan saying that im annoying but instead i get that! and it made me really angry but i dont really care anymore he pissed me off but we sorted it out so :)

so my birthdays coming up which is on Saturday =D
but hes busy that day so we decided to go out on Friday which is tomorrow and im quite excited i have no idea what to wear so im going to go out today and find my self a nice dress :) but argh! he annoyed me so so so much yesterday! we were texting each other and he asked me to come online and im like sure so i was talking to him but he wouldnt reply and i kept on talking yet…no reply then i started to get angry i texted him asking what was up and he told me hes sorting his phone out (he went on msn on his phone) then i still tried talking to him but no answer so then i got so angry that i told him that ive waited long enough and signed off..then about 15min later he texted me saying if i went to sleep and i told him that i wasnt and i was reading a book…then he had the cheek to start flirting with me like nothing has happened and i told him that its was really hard staying mad at you! and i wanted to know why he didnt reply and he told me that he was talking to me but his messages wernt sending WELL IF IT WASNT WORKING WHY WOULDNT YOU TEXT ME TELLING ME THAT! i just have a feeling hes lying to me argh! but he apologised and i told him that i was going to sleep i couldnt be bothered with him that night and im still angry! lol well im not going to come online anymore coz he really pissed me off! :@

Well yesterday was such a hard day, i got really dressed up because i wanted him to see me looking my best before he left so during the day i wasnt even upset though i did started to moan and be all like YOUR GOING NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! YOUR LEAVING ME!! but during lunch time we both went to see some friends in the park because it was this girls birthday so after we ate cake they all started to go back to school but while i was sitting with he i told him to stay then i started to get really emotional i was hugging him and was like what am i going to do with out you, you dont understand how much im going to miss you and i wouldnt talk while walking with him i just looked down and started to cry some more then he gave me a hug and stopped me from crying i then gave him a card which i wrote everything in, how i met him how i felt throughout and then i said my goodbyes and apparently it made him cry when he read it all at home :) then later after school everyone was hugging each other and saying there byes and while i was sitting there it hit me again that he was going really going he’ll be in uni while im still in 6form without him and i just burst into tears i couldnt take it, everything we went through all our memory’s in school, there over and i just cried and cried and ehsan took me outside and hugged me and just told me so many times not to cry but it was so hard, then when i had to go to tuition i gave him a hug and we kissed a few times and i said my goodbyes and that was that but im feeling much better now its not like hes still not my boyfriend so its all good :)

Hes leaving tommorow..Hes leaving tommorow..Hes leaving tommorow..Hes leaving tommorow..Hes leaving tommorow..Hes leaving tommorow :( :( :(
AND IVE GOT TO GO HOME STRAIGHT AFTER SCHOOL BECAUSE IVE GOT TUITION FOR 3/4HOURS :( damm im really upset and i dont know what my reaction will be when he goes i really hope i dont cry because im not the type to cry infront of people unless im really really upset..honestly i havent got anything else to say except that hes going after everything he’s leaving and im gona miss him :(

Well the spending less time with him didnt work out i missed him too much haha im such a wuss but i think im happy to say that all the little things that used to bother me about him dosnt matter to me any more because at the end of the day i realized that he is an amazing boyfriend and wouldn’t do anything to hurt me and i love him for being him and no one else :) HES LEAVING ME IN A WEEK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! thats so depressing arrrghhh!!!!!!!! im going to miss his face so much! but i’ll always be able to see him i mean he lives 2mins away from me so its not bad but its going to hit me hard once he’s gone :(

I’m really happy still :) 2weeks and 1 day until he’s gone well depressing, i decided that maybe i should just stop being so clingy and start spending maybe less time with him because i want him to appreciate me and really enjoy spending time with me :)

You know what ever since we sorted out our problems when he gave me the ring nothing bad has happened at all and it feels really nice because things are nice and normal and he makes me really happy and i think were becoming even more comfortable around each other beacause i can swear at him and beat him up and and annoy him and know that he wont take it to heart because it really does feel like hes my best mate and boyfriend and its so fun just talking and being around him cause were always play fighting and hes always licking me!!!!!!!! okay that sounds SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO WRONG!!! but im not saying it in a “dirty” way i mean like when i try to suffocate him he licks my hand trying to take it off or bites me when were beating each other up okay the fact that im writing this now makes me realize this is soooooo not normal but thats our relationship i guess :D hes my lil retard but hes going to be leaving soon and even though i’ll still be seeing him out of school im really really really going to miss doing these kinda things on a daily basis and seeing his face and having our little outings in the park and just lying on the grass and messing about and oh my god im going to stop writing cause im starting to get a upset im going to eat some chocolate or something haha :D

It was ehsans birthday yesterday and i must say it was quite stressful because some of his mates had to go to an open day for some university so they decided to have his lil birthday party a few days later, and that really really really annoyed me because i wanted ehsans birthday to be really special so i decided to do a small surprise for him first i got him a top and a bracelet, a small teddy and a wallet card and a bunch of notes which i wrote on this thing printed out with little brackets saying “first day i met you” “Valentines day” etc i put each present in a different locker with the number “345” on it and gave him the locker key to each one during different periods of the day. Then at lunch time i took him to the park and blindfolded him to an area of the park where we always go and on a tree was a happy birthday banner and there was also balloons but i think someone must have popped them, then while he was sitting down i got a muffin out which i bought the day before and stuck a candle in it and lighted it and quicky sang happy birthday..it was sooo embarrassing then i forced him to eat the whole thing haha but he was really happy i could tell and he wouldn’t stop thanking me which is a reallly really stupid thing to do cause he deserves it, hes such a good boyfriend it was the least i could do, and i would have done more for him because he means the world to me :) Then i met his mum by accident ! it was so scary because i was walking home with him and his friends and ironically i was saying how funny it would be if i saw his mum, when i met her i shaked her hand and said hello then i had to go and said bye to her it was soooo scary but she seemed really nice but still scary haha then he called me later that night and was being so cute and still thanking me i swear im gonna slap him if he says thank you one more time, and then he texted me but i fell asleep by then and woke up around 3 not good haha well i better go off and revise, the more i write about him the more i miss him haha :)

It still seems all i do is complain about my relationships and theres always going to be little things which are going to piss me off about him i really really love him and he really makes me happy and without him i dont know what i would do, he has only 5 weeks left of school now i guess i have to deal with not having him by my side all the time and i will admit its going to be really hard and what scares me the most is when he goes university he might end up falling for someone else but i trust him and i know he loves me but that still dosnt stop me from feeling like this but i guess thats a relationship for you