learn to be happy

It’s not to say that I’m an unhappy person. But sometimes I get overwhelmed in life and feel like I’m losing it. It’s the little things that start to eat at me, then everything becomes a worry, then I get sad when I have to go home at the end of the day (Even though I don’t enjoy my job much), because I’m so lonely there. I have a wonderful boyfriend, but he’s in the army and stationed in Ft. Bragg right now, so I can’t have his company when I need it, or just want it. I think if he were here, so I could be near him a bit more, it would change a lot of things.

Then again, if I could just get my moodswings under control, that might help too. I tried Paxil and Welbutrin, and I’m not sure I liked that too much. But I was a bit more…well…not worried about every little thing. My parents think maybe I should go back. Thoughts?

I was fairly assertive w/ the boyfriend and gave my 2 week notice at work. My job is a huge source of unhappiness, disgust, anger. Well not for much longer. I have no real plan for making money but sometimes you just have to say enough in order to keep your sanity.

I was raised by a mean, pathetic and just plain unhappy woman, well a girl really. She was 16 when I was born. I was her biggest shame, as she let me know frequently. They tell me that she seemed to genuinley love me when I was little. My brother was born just before I turned 7 and it all changed after that, well for me. Before that I was being horribley molested by the babysitters 18 year old son. That started when I was 5. I remember trying to tell her, but I don’t think I had the capacity to explain, nor did she have the capacity to understand. It was the late 70’s and things were different then. There wasn’t the awareness about such things that there is today. Anyway, it is a long sad story, which ultimately leaves me as a sad and pathetic adult who hasn’t ever developed the skills for dealing with life in a healthy way. Unfortunately, I also have no real idea of what happiness is. My daughter brings me joy, and I am very happy when I am with her, but that’s not happiness with myself. If I want my angel to have a better life, I need to learn all of these things… so here we are.

Is this too much to dump here?

I’m not unhappy all the time, which is a huge change. But I don’t know if I’d know happiness if it came up and bit me on the ass at this point. I feel something that’s kind of like contentment, but with an actual desire to improve my lot in life, rather than the stagnation that’s supposed to come with “being content” ... is that happiness? Hell, I just don’t know.

I have come to realise that its easier to be happy when you are not around people who are not happy with you.
I am concentrating on being happy and finding things I like. I look for people I like or find positives in the people around me. I dont let the things that are hurtful by others hold any importance. I look to love people and be nice or not be with/ near the negatives.
I remind myself when people say I am not acting like me (the way they think I should, that I am more like me now than the me they expect. I am happier.
It helps to be with people who are supportive of you, but if you cannot find those type of people just do the good and nice and interesting things the positive things that make you feel good, things that dont hurt other people. Have fun. Smile. It all bounces back on you better.

I can’t stop thinking about all the things that worry me, depress me etc. My mind will not shut off. This shouldn’t be so hard!

When i was younger i was very unhappy person, i didn’t like myslef, i didn’t like life, and many times i just wanted to commit sucide. But now i think that i’m one step further in my journey to become happy person. What have helped me i think was reading lot of spirituals books, seeing the world in different view, remembring that ‘over the sky there is always sun’. Like ours lifes, sometimes are covered by clauds, but sooner or later the clouds go away, uncovering the beautiful sun, we just have to arm ourself with patience.

Its true. Happiness is a behavior and a choice you make every minute of every day.

Its true. Happiness is a behavior and a choice you make every minute of every day.

My entire life I have tried to accomplish this one simple task. I can now say I am close as I have ever been, but I still think I have a little way to go to truly allowing myself to be happy. It’s not that I don’t see happiness around me everyday, it’s just that I won’t allow myself to feel it.